


This is Why We Fight

by MemoryDragon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Big Bang Challenge, Bullying, But with references to AoU canon, Identity Porn, M/M, Marvel Universe Big Bang 2016, Pining Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Time Shenanigans, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, pre-phase 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 72,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8390152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: Steve confesses his love to Iron Man but gets rejected because of Iron Man's loyalty to Tony Stark.  He starts to get to know the man Iron Man rejected him for, but before that, robots from the future could tear the whole team apart...





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own the Avengers movie-verse, nor do I make any claim to.  
>  **Warnings:** References to Phase 2 canon (Clint's family, start of the Lullaby), so please do not read if you don't like that and want to wank over my fic. Long term bullying and slightly unhealthy relationships that progress to healthier things. What could be considered a minor character death that is up to the reader (Steve himself prefers the no-death theory), temporary character death otherwise. Full details in the end notes if you're uncertain.  
>  **Rating:** T  
>  **Thanks:** Many thanks to narwhale_callin for getting this back to me eventually. XD I appreciate it, even when it is very late. Though considering how late this fic was to post, it didn't really matter anyway. Also a big thanks to Rinawrites for cheer-reading the fic and keeping my moral up. Good luck on those tests!
> 
>  **Notes:** So this fic was actually completed a year ago and for a completely different fest, but I no longer felt safe in that community due to personal reasons, and a lot of those reasons contributed to me posting mostly nothing for over a year now. Bullying was something I was dealing with at the time of writing this, and some of those feelings bled through. I was mostly keeping my head afloat, but a betrayal from a friend really pushed me under and kept me there for a long time. It took a while to get my feet back under me.
> 
> I have a lot of mixed feelings about this fic because of that, but it's finally being posted. And happily, it has found a new Big Bang home with the Marvel Universe Bang. 
> 
> To those of you who have been waiting, thank you for your continued support. It means a lot.
> 
> Also, I do kind of steal a plot line from Earth's Mightiest Heroes, so if you're wondering what happens in Steve's future, look no further than a slashier season 2 of that. XD
> 
> Please check out [knowmefirst's art!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8713789)

"You only fight for yourself! For Stark and your pay check!" Steve yelled, advancing on the faceless armor. Before, it had unnerved him, but now it just made him want to punch it and see if he could leave a dent. "I know men worth ten times as much as you."

"Everything that-" Iron Man started, then stopped, shaking his head as he raised a gauntlet to it. "Okay, does no one else feel like something funny's going on? This isn't normal."

"You're always the funny one, aren't you, Iron Man? Everything's a joke to you," Steve said, gritting his teeth. "But you're no hero. You wouldn't lay on the wire if it came down to it."

"Well, no, because that's what wire cutters are for, ya know, cutting, but seriously. Why is everyone so angry? I'm feeling it too, but the suit's blocking some of it. I can't get a good reading for a source." Iron Man's head was cocked to the side, looking around at the others and clearly dismissing Steve as unimportant. Like he was better than everyone else.

"Because we're not a team, we're a time bomb," Bruce said, and normally Steve would worry about the green tint in his eyes, but he was too angry at Iron Man for ignoring him.

He grabbed Iron Man's arm, his knuckles turning white around the edges with his grip. "You wanna quit hiding behind that suit and go a few rounds? Or are you too much of a coward?"

"Look, Cap. This isn't you. I really think-"

"You're all so petty," Thor said, starting the others arguing.

Steve ignored them, his grip on the armor tightening until it crushed the metal. He could hear Iron Man yelp in pain, metal cutting into the skin underneath. He felt a sick satisfaction in the sound, throwing a punch to see if he could break Iron Man's nose through the face plate and-

Steve sat up, breathing heavily as he clutched at the sheets. He swallowed down bile. Out of all his nightmares, he hated that one the most. Dreams of the ice left him trembling. Dreams of Bucky's fall had him waking up in tears. But this dream left him with nausea and sickness that had him leaving a trash can by his bed just in case he couldn't hold it down. He swallowed again, closing his watering eyes.

Thankfully the dream hadn't gone on as long as it had in the past. He'd woken up before the worst of it happened, and he shuddered. Something outside must have woken him, and he was grateful.

Steve ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair. The fight hadn't even gone like that, he reminded himself firmly. He hadn't hurt Iron Man. Hell, he didn't think he could actually dent the armor in real life. Stark made sure the metal was the strongest he could make. But he had _wanted_ to do those things, when they'd been arguing. He had wanted to take the armor off and lay into the man underneath. And he would have if...

Steve's sharp inhale was painful, but it helped force the thoughts away before the bile came back.

"Just a dream," he said aloud as the nausea was replaced by fine trembles that chilled his body. He pulled his knees against his chest and focused on breathing, not the resurfacing thoughts. It was harder than it should be. What would Bucky think, if he could see Steve now? Bucky would...

When he wasn't going to throw up at a sudden movement any longer, Steve got out of bed and threw on a shirt and sweatpants, heading to the door. After a dream like that the last place he wanted to be was in the gym going a round with a punching bag. Even the thought of it made him sick again. He could go for a run though. It was 2 am, but it wasn't like he would be put off by the fear of muggers. Hopefully by the time he did run into trouble if he found any, his mind would be calmer. Hopefully by then he wouldn't miss the phantom arm around his shoulder or the soft promises that Steve was still the little punk from Brooklyn who stood up to bullies.

He focused on his lingering gratefulness to whatever woke him up as he tied his running shoes, glad that he could afford more than one pair of shoes, especially in this more expensive century.

Shaking his head to clear it, Steve left his room. He technically had his own floor now, but he moved in before it had finished, staying in the common areas Stark had made for the Avengers to use and he'd just never left it. He used his floor for drawing and for when he wanted to be alone, but more often than not he stayed in his room on the communal floor if just because being closer to his team sometimes chased the nightmares or lingering loneliness away. Iron Man had understood once he explained it and said Steve was welcome to keep this room as long as he wanted it. He felt a bit bad about wasting a whole floor of space, but Iron Man said Stark insisted on keeping it, rather than letting it out to someone else.

Walking down the hall, he was surprised to find a light on in the library that wasn't far from his room. He debated if he wanted to talk to anyone in his current state, but curiosity got the better of him. Besides, he didn't condone waste, even if he was living in a tower that ran off of renewable green energy. He had to check if someone had forgotten to turn it off.

The library wasn't empty. Iron Man was facing the wall, staring at a portrait of Howard. At least, Steve thought he was staring at the picture. It was hard to tell with the expressionless face plate hiding his eyes. Steve didn't even know what color they were.

"You a fan?" Steve asked as he entered the room. He couldn't quite bring himself to leave once he saw the red and gold armor. Iron Man didn't quite have the same influence as Bucky, but he was good at calming Steve down, and Steve could use some calm after that dream, even if guilt for it made him hesitate.

For a mechanical suit of armor, Iron Man was very expressive. Still, Steve was a little surprised to see Iron Man jump at the sound of his voice. "Winghead," Iron Man said, turning to face him. "Sorry. Did I wake you when I walked by?"

Iron Man probably had, come to think of it. The walls of the Tower were thick, but Steve had always been a light sleeper and the serum enhanced most of his senses, including hearing. "I was awake already," he said, though he doubted Iron Man would believe it. "Did you know Howard?"

There was a strange stillness to the armor. Iron Man was rarely ever still, and it was something Steve had come to associate with things that upset his friend. "Not personally," Iron Man said, the mechanized voice without any of the usual inflection. "He was... He and Mr. Stark didn't get along. He wasn't- Never mind. Going to the gym this late at night?"

It was a deflection, but Steve allowed it since Iron Man hadn't called him on his lie. "Needed to work off some excess energy," he said. But that wasn't adequate enough, not after the dream. Not with how he could still hear the groan of metal in his dream. "I..."

"You okay, Steve?" Iron Man asked, coming around the desk to put a hand on Steve's shoulder. It was comforting, but Steve didn't know if he deserved it.

"Did I ever apologize for what I said during the fight with Loki?" he asked in lieu of responding.

"A few times," Iron Man replied, sounding amused. "It wasn't your fault, remember? Glow stick of destiny was messing with everyone's heads."

"It didn't mess with yours," Steve said, looking down.

"It tried," Iron Man said. "I could feel it tugging, and I don't have the best temper to begin with. But the rest of you guys? Not so much. Even Banner's fuse isn't that short. It was enough to shake the pull, knowing something was wrong."

"I should have-"

"Should have been wearing a head to toe gold-titanium armor?" Iron Man asked wryly. "You are the most stubborn man I know, Cap. If anyone could have broken it, it would have been you. And since you didn't, I'd say it was pretty unbreakable. No one else was able to fight it. The armor and this reactor-" Iron Man knocked on the glowing circle in the center of his chest lightly. It made a sharp metallic clang. "-counteracted whatever energy it was giving off. Didn't even work when old Green and Gold tried to turn me into a blue-eyed darling."

Which meant that Iron Man probably didn't have blue eyes. Steve filed that away under the mental file he had on his best friend. The personal details were extremely sparse, and he hoarded what little he could glean.

"I should have fought it harder," Steve said stubbornly.

"Come on," Iron Man said, moving around the desk and taking Steve's hand. He tugged Steve along to one of the chairs, and Steve sank down into it, feeling like it was either too soft or he was too tense. "Steve, what do you always tell Clint when he starts looking moody and withdrawn?"

Steve sighed, leaning over and rubbing his forehead as Iron Man sat across from him. "What he did under mind control wasn't his fault," Steve intoned.

"And that staff was controlling everyone. I just lucked out, cause I'm pretty sure Mr. Stark wasn't thinking about its resistance to alien technology when he built the suit," Iron Man said. "It wasn't you, Steve. It wasn't even that bad. Don't beat yourself up over it."

It _was_ that bad. He knew Iron Man well enough now to know the things people said _did_ affect him, even when he pretended they didn't. There was a stiffness about the normally fluid armor and the way his gauntlets didn't quite curl into fists. Iron Man pretended a lot of things didn't bother him, but after the past half year they had been working together, Steve had seen enough to know it was a lie.

"Why does it bother you this much anyway?" Iron Man asked.

"Because I was a bully. You were trying to stop the fight, but I kept pushing," Steve said, instead of admitting because it hurt Iron Man. He felt the blood rush to his face at that. It sounded stupid when he put it like that, but that was the core of it. The staff had turned him into the thing he hated the most.

He wouldn't have been surprised if Iron Man laughed at him for that, but he didn't. Instead, he reached over and squeezed Steve's shoulder gently. "Mind control," he repeated. "It sucks, but it really wasn't your fault. You're not a bully, Steve. Never will be."

Steve closed his eyes, taking a breath as he tried to let the words sink in. It was probably going to be a long time before he stopped having those nightmares. Iron Man's words soothed some of the queasy feeling in his stomach though, which was enough for now.

"Not your fault," Iron Man said again, his mechanical voice soft and reassuring.

"Thanks," Steve replied, pushing aside the embarrassment and feeling of weakness that came from any time Steve sought out Iron Man's comfort. It still raised his hackles sometimes, but Iron Man...

"You always know exactly the right thing to say," Steve said. Usually the only one who could get Steve out of his shell was Bucky, and with Bucky gone... but Iron Man had been slowly filling that ache, constantly surprising Steve and making him just a little bit guilty. He didn't want to replace Bucky. He also didn't want to give up Iron Man.

Iron Man chuckled. "That's an outrageous lie, Shellhead. Just ask Natasha."

"You say the right thing when it matters," Steve amended, because tact wasn't always one of Iron Man's strong points, that was definitely true.

"Huh. At least it works for someone," Iron Man said, face plate tilted downward.

"It does," Steve said, closing his eyes again. Iron Man was one of his best friends in this century. Because of him, Steve was starting to feel like he had a home in this tower, despite still feeling out of place in this time. He'd failed Bucky. And in the dream, he failed Iron Man too. He'd wanted to hurt his best friend so badly that-

"Hey," Iron Man said, his voice much closer. Steve didn't start as he felt the gauntlet on his face, but it was a near thing. "You with me?"

"Yeah," Steve said as he breathed out. There was a weapon pressed right next to his cheek, but he knew Iron Man wouldn't hurt him. He relaxed, opening his eyes to see iron Man kneeling in front of him. He must be out of it not to have heard him move.

Iron Man's other gauntlet rested on Steve's knee, squeezing it lightly as if to ground him. It worked well, and it drew Steve out of the dark thoughts the nightmare left him with.

Steve reached down and took Iron Man's hand in his, turning it over so it was palm up and running his fingers along where Iron Man's pulse should be. The armor was warm under his finger tips, not over heated, but definitely not cool either, and the seams that allowed Iron Man free movement gave him a pattern to trace slowly, sensually.

Iron Man went completely still, and Steve's heart fell. "I can't feel that, ya know," he said, a hesitance to the mechanized voice that Steve didn't hear very often.

It should have warned Steve off, but he didn't know if he could get up the courage to start this up again later. "You could," Steve replied, tracing the casing to the repulsor in Iron Man's palm before moving back up again. This had been building between them for a while, and Steve swallowed as a different kind of terror took over him. It was followed closely by hope, because he knew Iron Man had been responding as well, and he hadn't shied away before.

For a long moment, Iron Man didn't move. Then he pulled back and put a safe distance between them, and Steve let go as disappointment set in. "Steve, I'm honored, but I can't... Secret identities are part of the agreement with the other Avengers. You can't know..."

"Is that the only reason?" Steve pressed. "Because I'm willing to work with that." It would be hard, living without being able to really touch Iron Man or to have that sort of intimacy for himself, but Steve was stubborn. Iron Man was worth that, knowing his identity or not. He knew enough about Iron Man to know he was a good man, and that was enough for Steve.

Iron Man's shoulders slumped and he apparently found Steve's feet much more interesting than his eyes. "It's... more complicated than that."

"There's someone else?" Steve asked, contemplating doing his own mental study of the ground.

Oddly enough, Iron Man looked at the picture of Howard again. "Not in the way you're thinking, but you could say that."

_Stark_. Steve felt an irrational anger at that, and at Tony Stark for insisting on the secret identities. "You don't need to be under Stark's thumb like that. We don't need his money, Shellhead. It's nice, but not necessary, if that's why you keep this up. So if it's your loyalty to him then it won't-"

"It will," Iron Man interrupted, quickly rising to his feet. "It always does. I... I should go. Sorry. Have fun in the gym."

Steve sighed as Iron Man left, hunching over the chair to put his face in his hands. He'd really botched that one. He closed his eyes, swallowing back the hurt that threatened to block his throat. As if his night couldn't get any worse...

He should have known that a fella like Iron Man would be out of his league. Steve didn't even belong in this century, after all, and Iron Man was a man of the future. It wasn't easy, like it'd been falling in love with Peggy.

He missed home.

* * *

Several days later, Steve was _not_ sulking, though the nightmares of Bucky had gotten worse. Natasha rolled her eyes at him when he told her that was the reason he'd been in the gym so much, but he really wasn't sulking, or trying to carve out what little space he could find in this world. So he was training harder, running further, and generally grumpier. That didn't mean he was _sulking_. 

It did mean that he got back from his longer than normal run just as the others were finishing breakfast. Usually he got back in time to shower and join everyone, but he wasn't self-conscious as he walked in to see the other Avengers finishing off some waffles. Iron Man was there, sipping milk through a straw. It was kind of adorable and-

Steve looked away, toweling off the sweat as he tried not to think about Iron Man. He caught Natasha's frown as he looked down and groaned inwardly. She was prone to getting far too involved in his personal affairs, and no one needed to know he was failing at adapting to the new world he'd woken up in that much. Maybe he should just admit Iron Man turned him down. She might find out in a much more embarrassing manner otherwise.

"Phew, Cap. Hit the showers recently?" Clint asked, waving a hand in front of his nose.

"Just got back from my run," Steve replied. He frowned as Natasha and Clint traded a knowing glance. He wasn't sulking.

Bruce was also frowning at him, but he slid a plateful of waffles at Steve, so he was forgiven. "If you've been running that long, you need to eat something before you do anything else. You're burning too many calories."

"Thought you weren't that kind of doctor, Jade Jaws," Iron Man said. Steve tried hard not to imagine the easy going smile he could hear in Iron Man's voice.

"I'm not," Bruce said, sighing softly. "But I did study the serum for years, remember. I know what an increased metabolism can do to a person when they don't keep up with it."

"I had a protein bar," Steve said, though he didn't argue with the second plate being pushed his way. He did have a habit of not eating when he wasn't hungry, which happened more often than he realized since he'd woken up. The others had caught on to him, but thankfully other than a few hushed conversations about depression and grieving, they were content to just push food at him.

People said that Steve's disapproving frown was terrible, but Steve privately thought Bruce had the worst one. Or maybe that was just because Bruce was also immune to Steve's 'kicked puppy look' as Natasha called it. "That's not enough. Now eat," Bruce said.

"Yes, sir." Steve started to eat, letting the conversation restart around him. It warmed something that the nightmares left cold, to see his team sticking around and waiting for him to finish when they were already done eating. He wasn't quite part of the conversation, but he wasn't feeling left out like he sometimes did.

"Hey, Dr. Banner," Iron Man said, helping Natasha clear some of the dirty dishes from the table. "Mr. Stark wants to know if you've looked over those energy readings he gave you."

Steve was very careful of his strength when he heard the name of their benefactor. Crushing the glass of juice would only make things more awkward between him and Iron Man, and he was better than that. He hated the small amount of jealousy that flared up at the reminder of Iron Man's employer. Iron Man had the right to choose, and he had chosen his loyalty to Stark. _To his pay check_ , a small, dark part of him suggested, but he squashed that down quickly. Iron Man was more than that and Steve knew it. The fact that this petty jealousy made him even consider it made him ashamed.

"They're interesting," Bruce said, sipping his tea thoughtfully and giving Steve a welcome diversion. "Tachyon particles aren't in my area of expertise, but tell Mr. Stark I'll have a report sent to him in the afternoon. His hypothesis might not be far off."

Steve listened to the science talk without really taking in the words. He knew it was important, but it would go over his head without a lot of reading. Instead he looked over to the unusually quiet Thor who was frowning lightly down at the phone Stark insisted they all have when they moved in.

"Having problems with primitive technology?" Steve asked softly enough that his voice wouldn't carry to Iron Man.

That gained him a smile from Thor. Thor had once confided in him that Midgardian technology was so basic that it was like looking at the history books, and he had never been very good at history, preferring the here and now. He'd made Steve promise never to tell Iron Man or their land lord out of fear of offending them, and Steve privately thought Thor's discretion was wise.

But Thor shook his head, passing his phone over to Steve. "It is the culture of Midgard that is baffling," he admitted. "Perhaps you know of what Darcy speaks. She asks of a 'blind item' and its truthfulness, but I do not know what to make of the term or the story."

Steve read the 'story' with a growing frown. _'This A-list celebrity who still has A-name power claims to be clean, but we all know his double dealings don't just extend to his money! His hard-working A-list girl deserves better, as he was seen going down on a silver screen hottie's boyfriend this weekend. And that's not all. Dare I say it, but she's back to taking out the trash for him! And this trash day consisted of a lot of empty bottles. You need to move on girl, but does she have the same A-power to keep her on top without him?'_

The story was followed by what he assumed were Darcy's comments: " _OMG, tell me that's not Tony Stark. You live with him now, right? Like, I need to know because my iPod is dying and I'm thinking of switching to Stark tech, but I don't want to buy from a total douchebag who cheats on his girlfriend._ " At least, that was what Steve translated the text shorthand to. He might have missed a few words, but he was getting very good at 'text speak'. Mostly because it shocked everyone when he used it and annoyed Iron Man to no end.

"Looks like some gossip rag," Steve said, shaking his head. He hoped it wasn't true. He had only met Mr. Stark in passing at a few charity events, despite the fact that he generously gave money to the Avengers. Usually all of their contact came through Iron Man, but Steve hadn't been very pleased with what he read about the man in SHIELD's files.

"Gossip rag?" Clint asked, plucking the phone out of Steve's fingers. "Oh, blind items. I know someone who loves these."

"He means he loves them, but he won't admit it," Natasha said.

"Ha ha," Clint said, eyes quickly moving over the text. "Tell her we don't know about the sex, but the bottles are true."

"Barton," Steve growled, putting down his fork to glare at him. "We don't run a gossip mill. And how do you know that anyway?"

"Sometimes you just end up in a dumpster, Cap," Clint said, completely unconcerned either by Steve's glare or his answer, ignoring both. "As to the rest, it wouldn't surprise me, but I've never actually met him. Nat? You wrote the file on him."

He tossed the phone to Natasha, who caught it expertly. She frowned.

"Who are we gossiping about?" Iron Man asked, peering over Natasha's shoulder.

"Well?" Clint asked.

"It's... not outside the realm of possibility from what he showed me. I only knew him for a week though," Natasha said, and the frown remained.

"Sounds about right," Iron Man said, though the armor was stiff and still. He slid the phone back to Thor.

"He would cheat on Ms. Potts?" Steve asked, unable to help the anger that bubbled up. A man like that wasn't worthy of Iron Man's loyalty. "How could he do that?"

"Because that's obviously the sort of man he is," Iron Man said. There was a rigidness to the armor as he walked to the door that made Steve stand to follow him out. "Catch you guys later. Some of us have real work to do," he said as he left.

"Iron Man," Steve called out, but stopped when he felt Natasha's hand on his shoulder.

"Let him go, Steve. It sounds like he wants to take care of a few things himself."

"I said the wrong thing again," Steve said, sinking back into his chair.

"Clint provoked him," Natasha said disapprovingly.

Clint shrugged, taking over the dishes that Iron Man had left. "He's a puzzle. One I keep trying to poke at to see if he'll let us solve it. Don't you think it's weird that he gets upset when we talk about Stark, but never defends the man? If he and Stark are friends, why does he do that?"

Thor leaned back in his chair, looking at his phone thoughtfully. "It could mean that he knows the rumor to be true and would not lie for Stark's honor."

"Yeah, but it doesn't feel like that. It's like... I dunno. Nat?"

"Stark is a man of contradictions," Natasha said, shaking her head. "The drinking and the partying plus the allegations about his double dealings and Stane's death, but also housing us, upgrading our equipment for free and how he pushes the charity that pays for the damage we cause in fights. Then there's the Iron Man suit. What do you think, Bruce? You've had about as much contact with him as me."

"I've only spoken with him a few times face to face. Mostly he just emails me with collaborations, like with the prosthetic limbs he's trying to create." Bruce took off his glasses and started to wipe them clean. Then he put them back on and looked down at his tablet. "He's had me and a specialist in Korea consulting on that, but I speak more with Dr. Cho, the specialist, than with him. I don't think he's the type for double dealings."

Natasha hmmed. "I'd agree. That at least sounded more like Stane's profile than Stark's, but Iron Man may have had a hand in what happened to Stane. There was something Stark was hiding that I could have gotten if I had more than a week to crack him. He kept his cards extremely close to his chest."

"Wouldn't have pegged Stark for being able to hide from your interrogation talents," Clint said, leaning against the bar stool but not sitting on it.

"The secret was important to him," she replied.

"Iron Man," Steve said, thinking it over.

"Yes," Natasha said. "He tried very hard to keep a public persona on at all times around me. He never dropped it the whole time I knew him so I don't know what's underneath it, which took a lot of coaching."

At this, Clint looked away, eyes closed in grief. "By 'coaching' you think..."

"It's not outside the realm of possibility," Natasha said. "He was Phil's case before mine, and you know Fury thought there was something off about it. Besides, Iron Man also doesn't say anything to contradict that persona, despite clearly being angry about it. You have to wonder what he's hiding."

Steve finished the last waffle, feeling like he had more food for thought than his stomach was prepared to handle.

* * *

Iron Man hadn't been around for the past few days, off with Stark at a conference on the other side of the country. The others had taken to avoiding Steve entirely; Steve could admit that maybe he wasn't being the best company right now. It made him feel isolated and cold, but whenever he tried to interact with the others he only made things worse.

He missed Bucky. Bucky always knew what to do when Steve got like this, braving Steve at his worst with a hug or a witty phrase. Bucky was _home_ in a way that Steve longed for. More than the way things used to be, Steve missed that sense of home.

He stared at the pad of paper in his hands, every line he tried to draw feeling wrong. Steve sighed, erasing another attempt at a circle. He contemplated pulling out the tablet SHIELD had given him, if just because erasing digital art wasted less paper. But he was having a bad enough art day that he knew switching mediums would only make it worse. Paper was usually what made him feel the most comfortable.

Closing his eyes, Steve forced himself not to crumple up the paper no matter how much he wanted to. He set his pencil down and focused on breathing. He might as well hit the gym at this rate. He was getting no-

"-can't keep going like this."

Steve started at the unfamiliar voice, automatically reaching for the shield that wasn't there, but back in his room. Would he have time to get it? Who-

"Why not? It's working so far," a bitter voice responded. Steve forced himself to relax, recognizing the voice if not the tone. Stark. The billionaire had a guest over, though why he was in the Avengers' common area was a mystery. Maybe he was just showing it off to his guest? He'd never, not once to Steve's knowledge, actually come up to the Avengers' quarters after he'd finished designing them.

"And you're miserable," the first voice said. The man had a light tenor which sounded extremely vexed. "I don't think that's what 'working so far' means, Tony."

"There's nothing to be done," Stark snapped. "You know that. I've _tried_. I haven't made weapons in over a year. I practically privatized world peace. I make efficient, renewable green energy at half the cost of fossil fuels. And they still call me the Merchant of Death in the papers. You think telling everyone would change that? They already know enough. They just don't care."

This was a private conversation, Steve realized. Really private. His mother, bless her, would have boxed his ears for listening in. He should stand up or cough, or do something to alert the two men that he was there.

Curiosity burned at him, however. He slid down the high-backed couch until he was slouched over, not that they could see him from the kitchen. Steve was no saint, no matter how much Iron Man teased him about it.

He heard the other man sigh. "Have you tried the Avengers? You could talk to them as yourself, instead of-"

"You really think they'd be any different than the rest of the world?" Stark asked.

Steve clamped down on a throw pillow, forcing his fingers to relax before he tore the fabric. The words burned through him and half of him wanted to argue back. But he was supposed to be listening in, not giving himself away.

"They could be," the other man said. "If you actually gave them a chance. Nothing's going to change if you keep avoiding them like this."

"Yeah, sorry. I think the fact they discuss the gossip columns over breakfast and come to the conclusion it had to be true says otherwise," Stark shot back.

How did Stark...? Iron Man must have told him. Steve's ears burned at the thought of it. Iron Man hadn't stuck around for the rest of the conversation, and if he was trying to protect Stark...

Steve thought back to his dreams of bullying Iron Man earlier that week. Was what they'd been doing really any better, even if they weren't aware of it? Especially considering the man was their host...

"Tony-"

"Leave it, Rhodey. It's fine." Stark's voice sounded tired and defeated, like the only option was to accept the judgement that had already been passed.

"It's not fine," 'Rhodey' said, but Steve heard him sigh and some sort of movement.

"Can we talk about something else? It's depressing enough that you're shipping out tomorrow," Stark said.

"Yeah, yeah," Rhodey said, and Steve was almost jealous of the warmth he heard in that voice. It had been so long since someone had spoken with that sort of fondness towards him. "Alright. Get your coffee, then we can head up for that sake you promised me."

"For you, honey bear, it's only the best from Japan."

"That's what you said last time, and it was hot sake, not cold. Are you..."

Steve waited for the sounds of the elevator closing behind them before he sat up. He chewed on the end of the eraser as he mulled over the words. He needed to put a stop to Clint's prodding, that was for certain. Maybe talk to Iron Man about telling them when they were crossing the line.

It was clear they were being ungrateful guests, especially considering all that Stark _had_ done for them compared to the rumors. Steve had been just as guilty at not seeing past the bad press, and he was going to fix that. Something in his gut twisted as he remembered Stark's tone, knowing he had helped put it there. Well, he would make an effort to change that. He couldn't change the past, but he could stop it from getting worse now that he knew it was a problem.

He just needed to know where to start. Though JARVIS was indefinitely helpful to Steve as he adjusted to the new century, he doubted the AI would be inclined to setting up a meeting if Stark was set against it.

* * *

What he needed was some advice, he decided the next day. He woke up from nightmares early that morning, but instead of going out for a run, he brainstormed. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing. JARVIS, as he suspected, was also reluctant to help in this case, though he apologized for the inability. In lieu of a proper plan, he needed to find someone else to talk to. He walked into the common rooms later in the day and was a little dismayed to find only Thor and Clint watching television. He'd been hoping for Natasha or Bruce, since they seemed to know Stark the best. Still, beggars can't be choosers, and with Iron Man still gone, he had to start somewhere.

"Ah, Captain," Thor said, standing and clapping Steve on the back. "Come. Join us in our adventures in Midgardian dance."

Steve peered at the screen as Thor led him to the couch with an arm around his shoulders, some of the nightmare finally getting soaked up by the Asgardian's easy comfort. "Ballet?" Steve asked, eyebrow raised.

Clint shrugged. "I was flipping channels and Thor wanted to watch. Not my thing, but not bad considering. Pity Natasha's not here. She likes watching it."

"These dancers are very fit," Thor said, approval radiating off of him. "I have heard the story of this Romeo and Juliet before, but to see it told through dance and such powerful movements is a fascinating aspect of this culture."

When Thor put it that way, the dancing did seem more interesting. His eyes followed the line of the woman's arms and Steve had to admit the aesthetic was good. Dancers did make for good models. "Actually, I could use some advice," Steve said as he watched the woman turn gracefully on her toes. _En pointe_ , he remembered, thinking back to one of the USO girls who had wanted to be as elegant as the French dancers.

"Does that mean you're done sulking?" Clint asked, receiving an affectionate cuff from Thor.

Steve elected to ignore him. "It's about Mr. Stark."

Thor nodded, a gleam in his eyes that set Steve on edge. "That is indeed a wise choice of action."

"It is?" Steve asked, not seeing where this was going.

"Yes, my friend. Jane often listens to a song that advises to do just that, and its words would have guided me to fare far better in my past dalliances," Thor replied.

Clint looked just as wary, because they were all now well aware of Thor's sense of humor. "Okay, I'll bite. If nothing else, we can hold it over Jane's head. What song?"

"How does it go...?" Thor said, frowning softly. Then he brightened considerably. "Ah, yes. ' _If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever. Friendship never ends._ '"

Steve didn't recognize the song, but Clint doubled over laughing. Thor himself looked highly pleased, and Steve sighed. He was getting better with references, but he hated it when even Thor knew one he didn't. It made the cold creep back, missing his old friends who talked about things he understood.

Thor pat Steve on the back again, which gained him a rueful smile. "It is a band popular among young women, as I understand it," Thor explained.

Clint wiped his eyes. " _Was_ popular. They're straight out of the 90s. And I am never looking at Jane the same way again. Or you. I'm not sure how good getting advice from the Spice Girls is." He pulled out his phone, making quick motions with his fingers. "Though in this case, they're not really wrong."

Clint handed Steve his phone, and Steve recognized YouTube well enough. He pressed play, watching the five women on screen laugh and sing. It took a while to get to the actual song, but Steve found himself nodding with the beat once it did.

"I like it," he said, grinning as the video ended.

Clint snorted. "I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm starting to get used to the insanity here. But that's what this is about, right? You struck out with Iron Man, so you're trying the friend angle?"

"What?" Steve said, eyes widening in surprise. "How did - I didn't strike out," Steve lied. Then more truthfully, "And that's not why I'm asking."

"And that's not why you're not sulking either," Clint said, soft enough that it was likely he meant not to be heard. Steve heard it anyway and mentally added more strenuous exercises to Clint's training routine. Captain America was above being petty. Steve Rogers was not.

Thor had nothing but sympathy in his eyes when he spoke. "My friend, we've all seen how you look after our Iron shieldbrother. It doesn't take a spy to see that you have been troubled as of late."

"He... That's really not why I'm asking about Mr. Stark," Steve said with a sigh. "Shellhead made his choice and I respect that. Or I try to, most of the time."

"Noble words," Thor said, nodding in agreement. "They do you great service."

"Thanks, Thor," Steve said. He slumped down on the couch as Clint made room for him, and Thor put his arm around Steve's shoulders again. He'd admit, being wedged between the two Avengers was nice.

"Why are you asking about Stark then?" Clint asked, idly tapping at his phone.

"I'd like to actually sit down and talk with him," Steve said, rubbing his forehead. "But when I talk to JARVIS, I always get the answer that Mr. Stark is a very busy man and that his appointments are all booked."

"Why do you require such a meeting?" Thor asked, tilting his head to the side.

"He's done so much for us," Steve said. The couch was small, so he was shoulder to shoulder with both Thor and Clint, which was more comfortable than it should have been. It was nice to be with his team. "And we've been gossiping about him, assuming the worst. I feel like I should at least try to meet with him and thank him for what he's done."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Clint said, not looking up from his phone. He was texting someone, but the name was only listed as L and the phone was turned away from Steve before he could read more. "If Natasha was kept away, he's one tough shell to crack. But I'll talk to her and see what she can do. She should still have an in with Potts."

"Thanks," Steve said, leaning his head against Thor's shoulder. Thor was warmer than Steve ran, even with the serum, and he was solid. He was also a kinder man than most people would assume.

"Now that that's settled, I have it on good authority that rejections need ice cream," Clint said, putting his phone away. "And beer. But I don't think that'd do much for your metabolism."

Steve shrugged. "I wouldn't say no to one."

"Then I think I may have a solution," Thor said. "I brought some Asgardian mead with me on my last trip home, if you care to test your mettle against it."

"I'll stick with the normal stuff," Clint said with a chuckle. "But I'd say that sounds like a plan."

"Thanks, guys," Steve said, looking down with a small, half-smile pushing at his lips. "But I really don't need-"

"You do," Clint interrupted. "Trust me on this, Cap. You're driving everyone nuts."

Steve felt his cheeks flush in shame, but he nodded. He hadn't meant for his mood to affect the team. "Alright. Ice cream and mead it is."

It couldn't be that bad, right?

* * *

Steve did not make his run the next morning. Or his first class training SHIELD agents. He rushed in the last five minutes of the class with a pounding headache and queasy stomach that only got worse with Deputy Director Hill's glare. He was very glad to see her covering his class, however. Surprised, because he'd have thought she would have much better things to do than train newbie agents, but then again, once she was through glaring at Steve, she seemed to really enjoy teaching. It might be a nice break for her.

"You look like hell," she said as the agents filed out. There might have been a hint of worry in her tone, but Steve was more preoccupied wishing for sunglasses to block out the fluorescent light. "What happened?"

"Clint," Steve said with a groan. She raised an eyebrow, and he sighed. "Asgardian mead works through my system slower than my metabolism should allow."

She didn't laugh at him, but he could tell it was a near thing even in this horrible light. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again," she said. If she weren't the upstanding and highly professional woman he knew her to be, Steve would have sworn she said that a little louder than normal in revenge.

Still, he managed not to throw up in the potted plant as he walked back to the make-shift office SHIELD had given him before he'd moved most of his things to Stark Tower. He kept the lights off when he got there and closed the shades, groaning as he lay his head down on his desk.

He tried to remember if any hangover he had before the serum had been as bad. He hadn't had many, because Bucky said he got into way too many bar fights after a few drinks and heart attacks were not how Bucky wanted to die according to his friend. Steve didn't think any of them had hurt this much, though.

And now he missed Bucky.

The knock at his door sent jolts of pain through his abused brain; he could hear the door creaking open and Steve realized he hadn't closed it properly. He looked up to glare at whoever interrupted, then ignored his nausea to stand as he saw who was at his door. "Ms. Potts! I wasn't - I mean -"

"Long night?" she asked dryly, a smile not quite making it to her face, though he could see it tugging about her lips. "Please sit. I know how Tony gets when he's gone on a bender and you look like you've had better days."

Steve winced, but sat down. "I look that bad?" he asked, and winced again when his voice came out hoarse. He gestured to the seat in front of his desk and Ms. Potts sat down gracefully.

"You look unfairly good still, aside from the eyes," Ms. Potts said cheerfully. "But I'd recognize hangover eyes anywhere."

Blood rushed to his face as she spoke, and it took all he had to make his thick tongue move. Unfortunately, this hang-up wasn't due to his hangover, but Ms. Potts herself. "I... uh. I mean... What can I do for you, Ms. Potts?" he finally forced out, wanting nothing more than to bang his head against the table. He could talk to pretty women now with a bit of help from Natasha's acting skills and some practice, but he still didn't know what to do with a compliment.

It didn't help that she was looking at him like he was a particular breed of adorable puppy who had the flu. "I understand you're looking for a meeting with Mr. Stark," she said, finally taking pity on him.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, wondering why she would come to SHIELD to ask that when she could have called. "Whenever is convenient," he added. "I know he's probably very busy."

She was scrutinizing him in a way that made him fidget. It wasn't sexual like so many other women (and some men) had given him since he got the serum, but it made him uncomfortable all the same. Then she tilted her head to the side slightly, her expression softening. "Why?"

"Ma'am?"

"Why do you want to talk to him?" Ms. Potts asked. "'Ms. Rushman' has vouched for you, and though we've come to terms on a lot of things and I trust Natasha well enough now, I still don't trust her with Mr. Stark. So why are you trying to meet with him?"

"He's done a lot for the Avengers," Steve said carefully, sensing his response would be important. "Not just by letting us have Iron Man for the team, but by letting us stay in the Tower and upgrading our equipment. From what I understand, he also pays for a lot of the damages in our fights. I'd like to thank him for his support and get to know the man funding our team."

Ms. Potts did not look convinced. She raised her eyebrow in a way that managed to make Steve feel like he was still a scrawny boy with a chip on his shoulder. "Why now?" she asked. "It's been six months since you moved into the Tower."

"I did try earlier," Steve said defensively. He'd extended a few invitations through Iron Man the first month, but they had all been declined. Of course, he hadn't really tried that hard.

"Let's say I believe you on that," Ms. Potts said. "Because it's probably more convenient to go through Iron Man than it is to talk to me, I'll grant that. That still doesn't answer my question. Why now? Having second thoughts on your benefactor?"

She obviously did not become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company by being unobservant, and her cold tone chilled Steve. He searched for an appropriate response, but couldn't think of one that didn't start with 'I eavesdropped.' "I'm not having second thoughts on him," Steve said finally. Except he was, just not, well, _bad_ second thoughts.

"Please don't take offense when I say this, Captain Rogers, but you're a terrible liar. You don't have any of Tony's charm when it comes to deflecting things either," she said kindly. "I'd appreciate the truth."

Steve's shoulders slumped. He should just come clean before he got himself into more trouble. "I overheard him talking with someone named 'Rhodey'. I didn't mean to."

"You did mean to," Ms. Potts corrected, but her eyes were laughing. "I've been warned about your Innocent All-American Goodness act, Captain."

Steve flushed, knowing that one had come directly from Iron Man. He was torn between feeling betrayed that Iron Man would warn someone about that and feeling pleased that Iron Man had mentioned him to someone. "Maybe a little," he admitted. "But what I heard... Mr. Stark seems to be trying very hard, but none of us have really acknowledged that. I'd like to try to fix that."

Ms. Potts hummed. "I can guess what the conversation was about," she said, looking at him again with the same scrutiny as before. Steve sat up a little straighter despite the hangover. "I can work with guilt though. I have a few ground rules before I let you near him."

"Okay?" Steve said, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

"First, Howard Stark is a sore topic. Do not bring him up unless Tony does first, and then steer the conversation away as fast as you can because that's probably Tony spoiling for a fight."

Steve opened his mouth to ask why Tony would start a fight, but Ms. Potts steamrolled over him with a grace that spoke of much experience in cutting other people off. "Second, don't hand him things. That's a personal quirk and he only accepts things from people he knows very well. Don't take it too hard. Third, you will have to swallow your pride to get through to him. Once you do, I can't tell you what will happen. Fourth, do not under any circumstances talk to or call the paparazzi about anything he does or tells you."

"I wouldn't," Steve said, anger pushing though his headache as he raised his voice to be heard over her.

"Maybe not, but please understand that outside of an actual business meeting, most people do," she said, leveling him with a glare. "And if you do, you will never get another meeting outside of societal functions that require the presence of both of you, and I will work hard to make sure that doesn't happen often."

Steve felt the nausea coming back up and he didn't think it was because of the hangover. It was appalling thinking of how many people must have done that for Ms. Potts to have that as a ground rule.

"To be fair, that's usually rule number one for most people," she said, nodding softly. "There's one final thing, and this is one of the most important. I can only guess at what you heard, but you are going to need a lot of patience to deal with Tony. I can guarantee you he _will_ try to push you away, especially since you knew Howard. If you want that olive branch, Captain, you're going to have to be willing to hold it out for a long time."

"Why?" Steve asked, feeling way out of his depth. "I can understand that Howard could be a sore topic, but why would he start a fight and push me away?"

"Because he doesn't trust you," Ms. Potts said easily, as if the answer wouldn't cut him deeply. "He trusts you to save the city and his own life if the situation called for it, but he has a long history of trusting people who have hurt him, and that starts to take a toll. And after Afghanistan, he hasn't given his trust to much of anyone who wasn't already in his inner circle. You have to understand that it will take time for him to find that trust again, and it's not your fault. And once he gives that trust, he gives everything."

Steve wondered how it must be to live life like that, when so many people were willing to tear you down. He had been small and bullied, but still saw a lot of human kindness in everyday people. Tony had been dealing with the spotlight since he was a child, born into money and fame like he was. It seemed terribly lonely.

"It's nothing against you personally," Ms. Potts said. "But we've seen him hurt too many times, even by people like you who actually want to try."

"I won't give up then," Steve said as he raised his chin and made a mental promise. "All I have to do is wait it out until he trusts me, right? Mr. Stark is important to Iron Man, and to all of us as well. I'll do it."

"Stronger men than you haven't lasted," Ms. Potts said.

"But not as stubborn as me," Steve replied.

Ms. Potts laughed. It was a nice sound, and he got the feeling she didn't laugh enough as it was. "I'll take your word on that. The word of Captain America must mean something, right?" She stood and offered her hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Captain. You're right that Mr. Stark is busy, but I'll see if I can slip you in next week."

"Thank you," he said, shaking her hand gratefully. "I won't let this meeting go to waste."

"Good luck," she said. "You'll need it. And for the record, I hope you succeed. He needs more people who will give him a chance."

After she left, Steve put his head back down on the desk. He now had a lot to think about, but he could do this. He just needed a plan of attack.

Just... later. When he didn't have an Asgardian-sized hangover.

* * *

Steve picked at his collar only to have his hand slapped away by Natasha. "You look good, Steve. Stop fussing."

"Shouldn't I wear a suit?" Steve asked, eying himself in the mirror as a very uncomfortable-looking Steve Rogers stared back.

"You're acting like this is a date," Natasha teased, reaching up to straighten his hair.

"It's not," Steve said, hand going up to rub at his forehead, but Natasha batted that away as well. He sighed. After Iron Man's rejection, the last thing he needed was to think of this as a date. It made him miss home and his proper time. Made him miss Peggy, who returned his feelings. He never felt like this after talking to Peggy.

Natasha looked disappointed. "Damn. We'd been hoping this meant you've stopped sulking."

Steve turned away from the mirror to glare. "Why am I asking you for help on this again?"

"Because Iron Man isn't around and you made the very wise choice of not trusting Clint to put you in a monkey suit," Natasha said, taking his chin gently and turning his face with a soft hum. "Clint cleans up well enough, but clothes are a means to an end for him. You actually want to look good, date or no."

He had to admit he'd been glad he ran into Natasha when he'd been looking for Clint on advice on what to wear for a 'not-date, not-business' meeting. Due to the civilians and partners of varying experience she's worked with in the past, plus quick getaways and identity changes of her own, she knew a lot about clothes for both sexes. Clint was practical. She was right in the fact he did want to look good.

"If it's not a date, why are you so nervous?" she asked.

"He's... It's like meeting a movie star," Steve admitted. "He's all glamour and Hollywood, and I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."

"A kid from Brooklyn who is also a movie star in his own right," Natasha pointed out. "Didn't you ever meet any movie stars when you were on the screen?"

Steve was going to take his embarrassment over how he acted while meeting Hedy Lamarr to the grave. "I was a propaganda piece, not a movie star," he insisted.

"More or less the same thing," Natasha replied. "Seriously, Steve. You're just going to meet Tony Stark. Why are you so nervous?"

"What if I mess this up?" Steve asked. "Ms. Potts said he'd try to start a fight and I don't have the best temper either. He's Iron Man's boss. What if I just make things worse?"

Natasha sat on his bed, looking at him thoughtfully. "To be honest there's little to no chance of this meeting going well."

His heart sank. "I-"

"It won't be your fault, Steve," Natasha said with a shrug. "Stark is exceptionally good at pressing buttons, and given that you were friends with his father, odds are he will try to push them."

He wondered what happened to sour their relationship that much. It was a link to his past that he couldn't chase after, since the topic seemed too touchy. "Why did Ms. Potts even schedule the meeting then?" he asked in frustration. She had to know that too.

"Because she was impressed with you," Natasha said, surprising Steve. "And she knows a first meeting won't change much, but she's willing to keep scheduling you in as long as you're still willing to try."

That made a depressing amount of sense. "So it's a long siege, not a quick skirmish, is what you're saying?"

"You knew that," Natasha pointed out.

Steve closed his eyes, leaning back against the mirror. "Just not the full scope of it," he said.

"You think a man who resisted telling me who Iron Man is can be cracked that easily?"

"How'd that work, by the way? I thought no one could resist your interrogations," Steve said.

He opened his eyes to see Natasha dangling her feet over the side of his bed. "There's a lot of little tricks you can use to get someone to give up information quickly, most without the threat of violence," she said. "He was coached, no doubt about that, and we pretty much know by who. But he was also very tightly controlled about the subject. I had to switch tactics to a longer game, one where he trusted me enough to let those secrets slip."

"What happened?" Steve asked, pushing aside his mixed feeling about Natasha spying on Stark like that.

"Hammer's alliance with Vanko," she said, shaking her head. "The agent in charge of Vanko's file said he would be easily controlled by Justin Hammer and it turned out to be the other way around. It was a mortal error on his part. I was ordered to blow my cover and save civilians."

Steve sent a brief prayer for that agent's soul to rest well, regardless of their mistakes. "And Stark?"

"I nearly had him," Natasha said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Just a week or so more and he would have trusted me. But with my cover blown, there was nothing I could do."

Steve was privately glad, if only because Iron Man deserved his privacy. So did Tony Stark, he reminded himself. He was a private American citizen.

Natasha on the other hand, looked annoyed. "I could have stepped things up if I'd known too. Riskier, but it could have paid off."

"Not much you can do when working on bad information," Steve said.

He slid behind her on his bed and started to knead her shoulders, and she sighed, relaxing into his grip. Steve had learned a lot about massage from a few of the USO girls when one of them pulled a muscle, and he didn't regret the knowledge. Natasha groaned. "I'm supposed to be helping you with your date," she said, shivering when his fingers dug into her back.

"This is relaxing for me. Is it relaxing for you?" Steve asked cheekily, glad his friendship with Natasha held the same sort of ease as his camaraderie with the Howling Commandos. Being with her like this did help relax him.

Natasha snorted, then shook her head and batted his hands away. "Off with you. Go to your date with America's third sexiest man."

Steve rubbed his forehead and sighed, ignoring how she automatically reached up to fix his hair that he'd mussed. "It's not a date like that."

"I thought the measure of your dates was how badly you struck out," Natasha replied with a sweet smile. "And you're gonna today."

Steve regretted telling her about how all the girls always chased after Bucky when she offered to set him up with some of the other SHIELD agents. "I'll let you know if it ends up as a date then."

He got off the bed and checked the mirror one more time, forcing his hands at his side instead of tugging at his collar like he wanted to. "Think I'm good to go?"

She eyed him critically then nodded. "Go get 'em, tiger."

She waited until he was at the door before adding, "And if it does turn into a date, be careful of his tongue. Pepper says he's deadly with it."

Steve did not turn so she could see his blush. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

The thing was that it really _was_ a big deal. Not a date sort of big deal, but meeting your crush's good friend sort of deal. He wasn't doing this to get back in Iron Man's good graces of course, but a small part of him was very aware that this could either make his current relationship with Iron Man much better, or much, much worse. He respected Iron Man's choice, but he also wouldn't be opposed to Iron Man changing his mind if this went well.

That meant he really wasn't looking forward to the high probability of this meeting crashing and burning. Steve rubbed his palm against his pant leg, praying that the sweat wasn't leaving a noticeable mark. He also prayed to keep his own temper, because Lord knows he would probably need it.

The Stark Industries meeting room was at least comfortable. It was tastefully furnished, even if the modern art on the walls wasn't to his fancy. A brief check on Google told him it was ridiculously expensive too and the artist was important. He made a note to Google more of the artist's works later when he wasn't on a small phone, because he was still interested in the art movement even if he didn't always like it.

Phones in this century were sure swell, being able to do all that within a minute. Unfortunately, under a minute meant he still had more time to wait.

He tried not to fidget in his comfortable chair as he glanced down at his watch. He was early, but he didn't know when to expect Stark. Natasha told him he could reliably get to important meetings on time if someone was reminding him, but he might not be as keen to meet with Steve.

There was food on the table that Ms. Potts told him to feel free to take. Steve nibbled on a cookie as he sipped the coffee an intern brought him. It was strange, seeing the inside of a big business and being given the VIP treatment. Also slightly daunting. Steve wished he'd asked Ms. Potts to have the meeting on the Avengers floor rather than here.

There was a small device (sculpture?) that moved on the desk by the floor-length windows. After casting a quick look around to see if anyone was coming, Steve stood up to investigate it further, figuring it would keep his mind off things.

It was a white contraption of three long sticks moving in a circle gracefully. It didn't have any sort of mechanism to move it that Steve could see. He touched one of the sticks and it stopped moving. When he pulled his hand away, it started again.

The future had really strange sculptures even if the phones were swell. He stopped the mini sculpture again, trying to see what moved it.

"-change if this is so important, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

He jumped at the voices down the hall, pressing too hard on the stick. Steve winced as he heard the snap, his face falling when he realized he'd broken it. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to do that.

"You don't need to change for this. They want to see the real Tony Stark, grime and all," Ms. Potts said, her voice coming closer.

Steve panicked. Stark he could afford to make a bad impression with. He had to stay in Ms. Potts's good graces for this to work. He tried to put the stick back on to no avail.

"Since when do you list something on my schedule as a 'business meeting'?" Stark said as Steve looked around for a place to hide it. He opened the drawers only to find them full of those cookies. "You haven't even told me who I'm meeting with. If I didn't know you better, I'd call foul."

Looking at the table he'd been sitting at, Steve knew it was his last chance. It was a solid table and thankfully not easy to see underneath with the wood in the way. He picked up the sculpture, nearly dropping the piece he'd broken off in the first place, and shoved it under the table where people coming in wouldn't be able to see it. He then quickly sat down and plastered on a smile that hopefully Ms. Potts would put down to nerves.

"Tony, don't fight me on this."

"This is not me fighting! This is me wondering what's gotten into you that-"

Stark stopped in the doorway, staring at Steve with open shock on his face. Steve smiled as innocently as he could and tried not to think of the broken sculpture. He focused on Stark's attire, which wasn't the bespoke suit that Steve had been expecting. He was in a ragged t-shirt with some strange design over a dark, long-sleeved shirt and a pair of ratty jeans. His hair was either artfully trussed or actual bed head. Steve wasn't well versed enough in modern hairstyles to really tell, but given what looked like grease marks all over his jeans and shirt, Steve was willing to bet the latter. There was a black mark across his forehead that Steve assumed came from running a hand through his hair, and it was more endearing than Steve would have thought.

Steve didn't mind the dirt and grime so much. A month on the front lines would cure anyone of that, and he could never afford good neighborhoods growing up so he was no stranger to grime. He just hadn't expected a fancy businessman like Tony Stark to be quite so at ease with it either, especially not with today's attitudes towards cleanliness. It was a surprisingly good look on the man, he'd admit.

Ms. Potts, on the other hand, looked completely put together with a soft efficiency that reminded him too much of Peggy. He had to look away from her before his mind started playing tricks on him and he imagine a line drawn on her legs to mimic pantyhose.

"Captain Rogers," Stark said finally, his eyes narrowing as he turned back to Ms. Potts. "Pep-"

"He wanted to speak with you," Ms. Potts replied.

"And you thought this was a good idea?" Stark hissed softly enough that he probably thought Steve couldn't hear.

Ignoring the hurt, Steve stood, his foot knocking the sculpture as he did. Thankfully, they were having a whispered conversation that Steve politely tried to ignore this time since he'd already admitted to eavesdropping once to Ms. Potts. Granted, it was more because of his own panic than politeness, but he didn't have to admit to _that_.

Neither of them appeared to have heard the noise, so Steve relaxed as he walked over. "Mr. Stark," Steve said, holding out his hand. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

At first Steve wasn't entirely sure Stark would take his hand. The look he gave Ms. Potts spoke volumes about what he agreed to, but Steve kept his disappointment internal as Stark smiled and shook his hand. It was a very sharp and unfriendly smile, but Steve would take what he could get.

"Captain Rogers," Stark said again, though Steve could see the lines of tension in his bare arms. Steve pulled his lingering eyes up just in time to catch Stark's pointed look to Ms. Potts. "What an unexpected pleasure."

Ms. Potts was staring at the desk by the window with a frown on her face instead of paying attention to Stark, however. Steve felt a growing sense of dread.

"Tony, did you take my sculpture again?" Ms. Potts said sharply, turning to Stark with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Is this where you put it?" Stark asked. "Honestly, sugar plum, I didn't know it was-"

He glanced at Steve out of the corner of his eye and Steve quickly replaced the deer in headlights expression with his best innocent smile Bucky coached him on when his best friend first realized how much trouble Steve got into on a near-daily basis. He wasn't quick enough, judging by Stark's calculating expression.

"I know you hate it, but that doesn't mean you can keep hiding it!" Ms. Potts said, throwing her arms up.

Stark held his hands up in surrender. "Had no idea it was here, Pep. Which is not to say it wouldn't have been gone by the time Captain Rogers left, but not me this time."

He waited until Ms. Potts looked back at the window before raising his eyebrows at Steve. Steve, for his part, hid his sweaty palms behind his back and tried to think innocent thoughts like Bucky had coached him. Kittens, puppies, and the American way.

Ms. Potts turned back, still angry. "I _will_ look at the security footage," she threatened.

Steve swallowed. Stark, on the other hand, looked positively gleeful. "You do that. If that will be all, Ms. Potts? I'm sure Captain Rogers would like to get on with our meeting."

She narrowed her eyes, but nodded. "Play nice, Mr. Stark. I'll be in my office if you need anything."

The latter she directed to Steve, who felt even guiltier after that. He only just managed to keep on the smile as she left the room, sagging into a chair once she'd left. He leaned forward on the table on his arms and groaned, knowing he'd been made.

Stark sounded ecstatic, the bastard. "What did you do with it?"

"I was just trying to see how it worked," Steve replied, not looking up.

"Not an answer," Stark said. "Where is it?"

"Under the desk." Steve felt his cheeks flush with shame, but at least they were covered.

He heard Stark moving around the table, then quiet. Steve thankfully didn't have to wait long for judgement. "You _broke_ it," Stark crowed.

"I started when I heard you guys coming in!"

There was another small period of silence before Stark broke into a loud guffaw. Steve looked up to glare at the man, but it was hard to stay angry when Stark was doubled over laughing. He looked better when he smiled honestly. It was a beautiful smile.

"Ms. Potts was pretty upset," Steve said, putting his head back down on the table to hide a different sort of blush at being caught staring.

"You've saved me from this monstrosity, so I think I can get you out of the dog house on this one, Captain," Stark said finally, pulling out his phone and tapping on it in quick, precise movements that Steve thought only young people could master. "Ms. Castillo owes me a favor and Pepper will accept anything she comes up with. She's a better liar than you too."

"Who?"

"She's part of the cleaning staff," Tony replied. "Don't worry. Her job won't be in jeopardy. I'll even put in a small bonus for her. Wouldn't be the first time."

A favor from the cleaning staff? Not the first time? Steve was a little appalled at the numbers adding up to a crooked philanderer. His thoughts flashed back to that gossip rag and Steve flushed. "I don't think..."

Stark looked up, a split second of confusion on his face before he returned to the brittle smile and tense shoulders from when he walked in. "What's the matter, Captain? Repulsed by the idea of sleeping with the staff?"

Stark had a girlfriend who just walked out not five minutes ago and he admitted to... Steve felt disgusted. _This_ was the man Shellhead was loyal to?

"Mr. Stark? I was just cleaning up in the other room. You texted?"

Steve's head shot up to see a young woman, mid-twenties. Stark was up, accepting a hug from her with a warm smile that Steve had never seen in any of the pictures in Stark's file.

"How's Gabriella?" Stark asked.

"She's got a head for math," the woman said fondly, her accent noticeable but not thick. "You were right, Mr. Stark. She got the best grade on her test in the whole class."

"Good genes," Stark replied, tapping her head lightly. "She gets it all from her mother."

"I'm not the top of my class," she said, her cheeks having a light dusting of rose as she laughed. "But at least I can still help with her homework. Maybe one day she can help me with mine!"

"Just remember, if she wants that scholarship, I want a minimum three year contract with SI. I'm not letting that little monster go to one of my competitors."

Steve felt out of his element. The familiar way they spoke to each other didn't suggest lovers, but good friends. But why would Stark deliberately let him assume that after he realized what Steve was thinking? Why not just come out and correct him? Steve felt guilty for assuming, but Stark had encouraged the response.

' _He's very good at pushing buttons,_ ' he heard Natasha say in his memories. But Stark didn't have the sort of animosity he'd been expecting before the meeting, and he'd been laughing not seconds before it happened.

"Captain?" Stark said in a tone that meant it wasn't the first repetition. "Earth to Captain Rogers!"

"I - Sorry. Got a little caught up in my thoughts."

Stark rolled his eyes while Ms. Castillo peered curiously at him. "You're Captain America!" she said, her hands going up to her mouth as her brown eyes danced with pure delight.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, suddenly self-conscious. He always felt strange being recognized out of uniform, like plain old Steve Rogers wasn't up to the hype that Captain America was. He wished he had his shield at least, and his fingers twitched without it on his back.

"Can I take a selfie with you? Monica will be so jealous," she said.

Steve nodded dumbly, which was apparently witty enough for her as she pressed against him and held her phone out. He at least remembered to smile.

"Thanks!" she said, snapping another, then moving away and looking at her phone to check the picture.

"The sculpture, Cap?" Stark asked, sounding amused.

"Oh, it's... it's under the table," Steve said, bending down to pick it up. He pulled it out, the one little stick still moving in its stubborn insistence, but obviously broken.

Stark looked at it, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yup. It's done for," he said cheerfully.

"But what are we going to do with it?" Steve asked miserably, because he was standing on very thin ice with Stark and he needed Ms. Potts's continued approval.

"That's easy," Ms. Castillo said, taking the sculpture from him. "I take this to Ms. Potts and say one of the staff broke it while cleaning. It's a bit of legend; Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts's fight over it, so everyone thinks it's her favorite. The staffer wanted to be anonymous for fear of being fired. Ms. Potts just keeps it to annoy Mr. Stark, so she won't miss it."

"Ha! I knew it," Stark said, snapping his fingers.

"So no one gets in trouble," Ms. Castillo promised.

"I couldn't ask you to-" Steve started to say.

"It's my pleasure, Captain America!" she said with a large grin. Then she turned to Stark. "And no bonuses. This is a favor, Mr. Stark. I will be checking my account religiously, I swear to God. My mother thinks I'm sleeping with you every time you put more in and I don't need more hints to make an honest man out of you. You pay me enough."

"If you insist," Stark said with a very put-upon sigh. "But when you finish your degree, you will be getting a raise."

"Of course! Then I will take you for _all_ your money, Mr. Stark," she said with a warm smile. "See you guys! Thanks again, Cap!" She waved once more before exiting the room with the sculpture.

Steve immediately missed her presence, because the tension from earlier came back so quickly it was like it had never left.

"Well, Captain Rogers," Stark said. "What can I do for you? I assume you had a reason for this meeting, and I have more important things to do. Do you need more equipment for the team?"

The smile Steve saw in all of the videos was back, and he wished he knew what to say to bring back the warmer one. "You didn't sleep with her."

Stark sat in one of the chairs and leaned back. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

Pushing buttons, Steve reminded himself, keeping his hands from balling up in frustration. He decided to start with the suspicion he had, rather than proof. "You wouldn't cheat on Ms. Potts," he said, feeling pretty confident in that assertion now that he was actually thinking about it and not reacting. Nothing in the way Stark and Ms. Potts had interacted suggested a lack of trust cheating would cause. There was frustration, sure, but of the fond sort.

Of course, Steve realized belatedly, there were those 'open relationships' he read about; but for some reason he couldn't quite name, he didn't see that for Stark.

"Could have slept with her before Pepper," Stark said appallingly. Steve was almost blinded with anger as the man played his own devil's advocate _and_ insinuated the girl had been much younger when they'd had sex. Steve was so angry he almost missed what Stark muttered a few seconds later. "Or after."

That kicked the anger right out of him. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, feeling at a loss. The rags talked about cheating all the time from what he'd seen, but not really about a break-up. He wondered how they hushed that up. And why. "But I still don't think the favor Ms. Castillo owed you was for sex."

"Because she's a good girl?" Stark sneered.

"Because you didn't act like it," Steve snapped. "And neither did she."

"Taking lessons from Natalie Rushman, are you? Or is it Romanov now? Unless she's already changed it again."

"You're changing the topic," Steve said, forcing himself not to yell at this infuriating man, but it was a near thing. "Why are you doing this? Why don't you stop and defend yourself instead of making it worse?"

"Tell me, Captain. Any of those bullies you so famously fought all across Brooklyn," Stark said, leaning forward with sharp eyes that seemed like they wanted to cut through Steve with their bitter, jagged edges. "Did any of them stop being bullies? Or did they move on to easier pickings?"

"That's not the point. I usually wasn't fighting for me," Steve replied shortly.

"How noble of you," Stark said dryly. "Standing up to the bullies for others. I might swoon."

"Stark," Steve said, warning. His patience was wearing too thin for his liking.

"Bullies don't change, Captain," Stark said, his eyes cold. "And when they break your nose and you go home only to get backhanded for starting a fight you couldn't win, you stop fighting them."

Steve sucked in a breath. Iron Man had said Stark didn't have a good relationship with his father, but that was an understatement. Stark went on, ignoring Steve's reaction entirely. "People form first impressions within a tenth of a second of meeting someone. _You_ and half a million other people have a first impression of me before we've even met. And first impressions are scientifically proven to be hard to shake. They won't change their perception of me if I defend myself, so why keep trying something that doesn't work and expect to get better results? That's a definition of insanity."

Steve found himself furious again, but this time not at Stark. He hated the words coming out of Stark's mouth, hated even more the people who caused that outlook on life. He didn't know what to say to that. 'Sorry' felt too empty and meaningless. He wanted to reach out, but he didn't know how to comfort Stark after that.

Standing abruptly, Stark didn't push his chair back in after leaving it, though Steve did when he followed suit. "Now, if you're done, I have work to-"

He grabbed Stark's wrist before he could leave. "Tell me what the favor you did her was."

Stark tried to yank away, but Steve kept his grip strong. He didn't know if this was the right course of action. In fact, he was pretty sure it might make things worse. But Steve wasn't backing down on this one. The fact that Stark was opening up at all was a marvel, and he wasn't going to let this chance pass him by.

"I told you it doesn't matter. Perceptions-"

"Can change," Steve finished, looking Stark straight in the eye. "It's hard, but I believe in that change."

Stark stared at him, his face unreadable. But he stopped trying to pull away, and Steve could feel the pulse in his wrist beating fast. "Please," Steve pleaded, knowing this would only work if Stark gave him a chance to change. "What was the favor?"

"Ms. Castillo was crying in one of the meeting rooms she was supposed to be cleaning two or three years ago," Stark said, looking away. "I was avoiding Ob- I was avoiding Stane when I found her. Apparently her ex-boyfriend was an abusive asshole who was threatening to kidnap their daughter and kill anyone in the way, including the other kids at the SI-run daycare. So I offered to let Gabriella stay in the office with me for the week it took for the police to find him, since it's pretty hard to get through the security to make it up here. She was five, I think? She helped me with the paperwork. I may have also hired the best prosecuting lawyers I could find in the case against him."

"That was before you were kidnapped," Steve said, releasing Stark's wrist.

He shrugged. "Obi yelled at me for being reckless and wasting time and money. I'm just planning out future investments, because Gabriella _will_ be running a Fortune 500 company one day and I want her working for mine, not anyone else's. She's _vicious_ when negotiating for cookies."

Stark had his chin up defiantly, like he expected Steve to yell at him too. Steve was honestly a bit too blown away by Stark's bravery and kindness to yell, however. "You could have been hurt."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Stark shrugged again. His shoulders stayed slightly hunched over. "It wasn't that big of a deal. Future investment, like I said. And Dani's working here for a scholarship to finish out her degree and go into accounting, so just doubling down on my money."

Steve swallowed hard. "Thank you for telling me," he said, shaking his head to clear it. He had a lot to think about. "And I'm sorry for assuming earlier. That wasn't right."

Stark's eyes grew wide, and he broke eye contact again. He waved it off as he ducked his head. "Okay, I don't-"

He was interrupted by his phone, which surprisingly played a normal ring tone. Steve would have expected something different. He didn't know what exactly, maybe some modern song or something with a bit more personality? But not the standard ring tone he heard from half a dozen other phones.

Stark pulled it out and frowned at the screen, then popped a small device into his ear as he held up a finger to Steve to say 'just a moment'. "Tony Stark. What's up, honey bee? Haven't heard from you in a while."

His eyebrows went up, and Stark nodded, before seemingly remembering he wasn't on video call. "Okay, I'll give you that. Seriously though, you okay?"

Steve was debating if he should tune out the conversation or keep listening when the blood drained from Stark's face. His hand tightened around the phone and he swallowed, for a long time just listening. Unfortunately, Steve couldn't hear what was being said on the other side of the line. "He... Yeah, of course. You take care of things on your end and I'll head out as soon as I'm done with this meeting. Yup. You too. Bye."

Stark ended the call, then walked out the door. Steve stared in shock for a moment before hastening to follow. "Mr. Stark!" he called out, catching up easily. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine and dandy, Capsicle. But I have more important things to deal with so you're going to have to reschedule this chat so I can ignore it at another time," Stark said, not looking at Steve as he walked.

"Mr. Stark-" Steve said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder and turn him around. Stark was pushing buttons and pushing them hard, and Steve was out of patience. "You're not fine. What's wrong?"

"You are, Smithsonian," Stark said, knocking Steve's hand away. His brown eyes were hard and angry. "Because I was supposed to be _you_ , but I wasn't. I came home with black eyes and got another for it because I wasn't some steroid-buffed idiot."

"Stark," Steve growled.

Stark called the elevator and the door glided open. "We're done here, Rogers. See you again never," he said, smiling cruelly as the door slid closed.

It took all of Steve's willpower not to punch the door and dent it. He breathed in through his nose, then let it out slowly. He was practically shaking with rage, but he needed a clear head. What was it Ms. Potts said? Swallowing his pride. Tony had done that on purpose, damn him. A large part of him resented Stark for that, especially since the issue was forced. Something was obviously wrong. As much as Steve wanted to, he couldn't just let that go.

It didn't help that what Stark said _hurt_. He struck below the belt and struck hard, and Steve almost believed the sentiment on bad days. The serum should have been able to save Bucky, but he'd failed and...

Steve shut his eyes, forcing his thoughts away from that. Stark hadn't even been that hostile when Steve assumed about the affair. Something had spooked him. Something had him scared enough to lash out and-

This time Steve did punch the wall. It was a little better than the elevator door, but he immediately felt guilty for the hole he left and for the people ducking out of their offices then quickly looking away. None of that changed the fact he let Stark get away.

He called the elevator and pulled out his phone, using its connection to talk to JARVIS, since he didn't know how extensive JARVIS's presence was in the lower levels of Stark Tower.

"What can I do to help you, Captain?" JARVIS asked.

"Can you tell me where Mr. Stark is?"

"I'm afraid that information is not available to you right now."

Steve figured, but it had been worth a shot. It still burned lowly in his gut and he resisted the urge to punch the wall again. "Can you patch me through to Iron Man then?" he asked, because if anyone could help with Stark, it would be him.

"I'm terribly sorry, Captain, but Iron Man is also currently unavailable," JARVIS said apologetically.

Steve swore under his breath. Of all the times to go AWOL. "Thank you, JARVIS," he said before cutting the connection, because it really wasn't JARVIS's fault and Steve had regained enough piece of mind to remember to be polite.

He thought about calling Ms. Potts, but he wasn't sure he could talk to her yet without thinking of the sculpture. He went to his floor instead for privacy, then called Natasha on video. "I need help," he said, in lieu of hello.

"Your meeting with Stark over already?" she asked with a wince.

"It's not... Well, it is," Steve said, running a hand through his hair. "But he was scared of something. Things weren't going great, but then he got a phone call that terrified him and he lashed out when I asked."

"And you got angry," Natasha surmised.

"I still am," Steve said, though he was also partially angry with himself for falling for Stark's trick. "I can't get a hold of Iron Man, but something is wrong, Nat. Something bad. I need to figure out what's going on."

Natasha hummed and he could hear clicking noises on the other side of the line as she looked away at something off screen. "I can't hack his phone. I'm smart, but even I can't take on Stark security. I've tried," Natasha said dryly. "Nearly got through a few times. I think Stark allows it so he can find the holes in his own if he - Pack a bag, Steve."

He didn't hesitate to follow the order, grabbing his away bag and stuffing in the nearest clothes he could find. "Sitrep?"

"Stark Industries' private jet has requested a takeoff in an hour, course set for Afghanistan."

"How did you-"

"Just because I can't hack Stark doesn't mean I can't get into other systems," Natasha replied. "And I've already got a ping system set up for SI dealings at the airport."

"Natasha," he said disapprovingly.

"What? Like I said, I'm pretty sure Stark enjoys the challenge," she said. "But I don't think he'd go back to Afghanistan willingly, since that was where he was kidnapped in the first place. I think you're right that something is wrong."

"So I'm sneaking aboard the plane?" he asked, rushing to the kitchen to grab a few protein bars and MREs. It was going to be a long flight, and he had to be ready for anything when he got there.

"I'll cover for you here and keep trying to raise Iron Man," Natasha agreed. "Though if he's caught up in this too, that might be why we haven't seen him around much recently."

Steve grabbed his uniform and quickly stripped. He didn't put on all of it, but the under armor Stark made for undercover missions would be useful. Despite the lack of full uniform, he grabbed his shield, because he could use its comforting weight on his back right now. "I'm good to go," he said, swinging the pack onto his back.

"Then get to the airport stat," Natasha said. "Estimated time to departure: Fifty minutes. Stay in touch and let me know if you run into any problems or need back up."

"Will do," Steve said as he raced down to the garage to get his motorcycle. He may have screwed the meeting up, but he wasn't going to let Stark be in danger while Iron Man was out for the count.


	2. Chapter Two

Getting on the plane was easy, thankfully. Natasha promised to come back for his bike and once he'd snuck on, it was just a long wait for the ride to end. Getting out, on the other hand, was more difficult.

"I'm gonna need some help here," he said quietly as he peered out of the open cargo doors to the military base.

"On it," Natasha said, her voice clear and distinct in his ear piece. Steve loved technology. "Okay, I've cleared out some of your way to the western wall with a computer blip. Not big enough to have extra security, but enough to get rid of some of your-"

"Captain Rogers, sir?"

Steve tensed at the voice, making sure he was well hidden behind the boxes. "If you're here, sir," the voice called again, "Mr. Stark requests you come out and not try to sneak on the base."

"Sounds like Stark knew you were there the whole time," Natasha said, her voice amused.

"He didn't have to let me stay in the back for the whole flight if he knew," Steve muttered as he peered around to see an unarmed airman standing politely at the base of the ramp. Steve sighed and rolled his neck, then stood and smiled ruefully. "Guess the gig is up."

The airman snapped to a salute as his eyes widened in recognition. "I-uh, I'm a big fan, sir," he said, then stumbled over his words. "I mean, if you'll come this way I can take you to Mr. Stark. He thought you might prefer a ride."

"Thank you..." Steve peered at the uniform and tried to recall Airforce ranks. Those were new to him in this century, and he hadn't given the ranks much attention when there was so much else to learn. "Sergeant," he finished, hoping he remembered correctly.

If the smile on the airman's face was anything to go by, he got it right.

"I'll leave you to it then," Natasha said. "Give me a call if there's any trouble." She hung up before he could reply, which was just as well.

The ride was full of the sergeant's nervous babbling, which Steve nodded and smiled at all of the right points for. It reminded him a little of Coulson, which at least took away some of the awkwardness, even if it was replaced by sorrow. It was hot, but the car had working AC and Steve couldn't complain.

"A hospital?" Steve asked as they pulled up. He hadn't expected that.

"Yes, sir," the sergeant replied. "Mr. Stark is on the third floor, room 308."

The sergeant escorted him up to the third floor and a nurse pointed him the rest of the way. He opened the door cautiously, stepping in to see a black man lying on the bed. He was bandaged up and had all sorts of machines hooked up to him that Steve didn't need to know their purpose to guess it was serious. He swallowed and sent a quick prayer for his recovery.

"Happy now?"

Steve started, turning to see Stark hidden in a corner next to the door. He looked pale and drawn, though much cleaner than the last time Steve had seen him and now in the bespoke suit he was expecting. He sat apart from the bed rather than next to it, but his eyes never left the face of the man in the bed. The baseline anger Steve had been stewing suddenly cooled and Steve almost didn't know how to react.

There was a chair next to Stark that Steve took, sighing inwardly. "A little less worried about you being in danger now," Steve replied, then looked at the man on the bed. He had to be important for Tony to come all the way out here.

"I said I was fine," Stark said, but his words lacked any bite.

' _You weren't_.' But Steve didn't call him out. This wasn't the time or the place. "Who is he?"

"Rhodey," Stark said, then shook his head. "Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes. He's... He's an idiot."

Iron Man had said something similar about Coulson. Steve wondered at the similarity, but pushed it aside to think about later. "Does he have any family?" Steve asked instead.

"Mother and sister. His sister was the one who called me earlier. Mrs. Rhodes has been sick recently and they couldn't chance the flight. She asked if I could come while she was getting ready," Stark... Tony replied dully. It was hard to think of him so distantly in a situation like this.

Steve nodded, leaning a little closer so that their shoulders brushed, but Tony didn't even blink. It worried him. "How is he?"

"Internal bleeding was stopped and the blood transfusion was successful. He just..." Tony's voice cracked, but he pushed on. "He's not waking up. Coma, they said."

"I'm sorry," Steve said, not knowing if he was apologizing for what happened or for following Tony all the way out here when it was something so private. He was still so angry with Tony for what he said, but now wasn't the time or the place.

Tony nodded, not saying anything more. Steve didn't know how long the hospital staff would let them stay, but he wasn't going to leave Tony alone if he could help it. He looked like a ghost, and he wasn't the one lying in a hospital bed.

* * *

It was cold. The wind bit at his ears and cheeks even as he reached out as far as he could. It wasn't enough. "Hang on, Bucky," he said as he tried to inch closer.

"Steve!" Bucky said, his eyes wide as he tried to reach Steve's hand. "Why can't you reach, Steve?"

"I'm trying!" Steve said desperately as the bar creaked.

"STEVE!"

Steve gasped awake, hearing both Bucky's scream and someone softly saying his name. Half of him was still staring into the snowy valley, wondering how damned he'd be if he let go as well.

"Steve, come on. I need you to wake up," he heard a panicked voice say.

The hospital. Afghanistan. Steve leaned over his knees, ignoring the pain from sleeping in a hospital chair as he trembled and steadied his breath.

"Are... Are you awake now?"

Tony. Steve didn't look up, because he wasn't sure his eyes were dry. He also didn't trust his voice. But Tony sounded rattled, so Steve nodded.

"Good. That's great. Sleep sucks. I hear it's good for you, but it just really sucks. Are you okay?"

Steve nodded again, pressing his eyes shut against the pin-pricking sensation. Tony didn't need to deal with Steve's nightmares. Steve just had to get himself under control. Again.

"Yeah, that? That's not convincing at all, Pinocchio. I told you, you're a terrible liar," Tony said, and Steve could hear him gulp over the sound of his own heart. "Is it okay if I touch you? You won't attack me or whatever because you're still high-strung, will you?"

"You can," Steve said, though his voice broke on the words. He wasn't entirely sure it was the truth, but he needed some sort of grounding.

"Good. Great. I'm just going to uh... touch your head?"

Steve still jumped even with the warning, and Tony's hand froze. When Steve didn't move, he started a soothing motion of running his finger's through Steve's sweat-soaked hair. It was almost like he was petting Steve, but it felt good so he didn't mind it if he were being honest with himself.

A sob broke through before Steve managed to pack it away. Tony was babbling, the constant sound anchoring Steve more than the individual words did. It covered the sound of the train and the howling of the wind. The sound of Bucky's scream.

His breathing evened out eventually, and he tuned in to what Tony was saying. "-doing it wrong. I know I am. Shit, I should probably be rubbing your back or something? This is weird, isn't it? I just did what Pepper used to do for me. I - it's bad, touching me on my back or shoulders when I get like this. I always liked it? But it's different for you and, fuck, I'm terrible at this. I shouldn't be saying that. I'm sorry. I don't know-"

"Tony," Steve said, finally straightening his back.

"I'm sorry," Tony said again, pulling his hand back into his lap. "That was... What I said before at the Tower too. And how bad I am at this."

It took Steve a moment to realize what Tony was referring to. The anger hadn't really left, but it had simmered and dimmed, especially with the long flight. But if Tony was actually apologizing for what he said...

Steve let the anger go. It wouldn't do either of them any good right now. He nodded to Tony, then stood.

"Steve?" Tony asked, half-standing as well.

"Need some air," Steve said.

"Do you-"

"Stay with Colonel Rhodes," he ordered, then got out of there as fast as his legs could carry him without looking like he was running away.

Once he was out in the hall, he looked back to make sure Tony didn't follow him. He leaned against the wall and tilted his head back until it hit with a soft thunk. To have let Stark see that, of all people... Steve hit his head again for good measure.

"Sir?"

Steve looked up to see another airman, not the one who had driven him here, but presumably the one on watch. "You got anywhere to go for a run around here?" Steve asked.

The airman smiled. "Of course, sir. I'll radio you an escort."

* * *

Running cleared his mind and released the pent-up energy he had from sitting for so long. He had gathered a crowd by the time he started to feel tired, but aside from occasionally waving when he heard a cheer, he paid them no mind.

He borrowed some clothes when he finished since his were somewhere on the quinjet and that probably needed an escort to get. The airmen were very entertained by it all, but Steve figured there wasn't anything in the rules against wearing shirts from another military branch and he really didn't mind that much. Thankfully he was only asked for a few photos, but he made a mental note to properly visit with the troops here before they left. It was different now that he was more than just a propaganda piece, and while he wouldn't do another show, he could still do some good and raise morale. And he could drag Tony along, because it'd do him some good to get out of that hospital room.

When he got back to the hospital, he knocked on the door to find Tony charming one of the nurses. "He likes sugar," Tony said, smiling at her. Steve was starting to classify Tony's smiles and this was definitely the PR version, but the kinder one. He looked tired still, and Steve wondered how much sleep Tony had gotten on the flight here. "He won't admit it though, so you'll have to put the sugar in yourself or he'll drink it straight and be cranky for the rest of the day."

"I don't think Colonel Rhodes will be drinking coffee for a while when he wakes up," the dark-skinned nurse said, though she giggled behind her clip board.

"Better him than me," Tony said, waving for Steve to come in. "Have you met Captain America?"

"Oh!" the woman said, fumbling with the clipboard. She pushed her hair behind her ear then straightened her scrubs. She saluted, and Steve belatedly realized she wasn't a civilian nurse. "I-uh, it's an honor to meet you, sir," she said.

Steve returned the salute and smiled, wondering if his smile looked as fake as Tony's did. "How is the Colonel doing?"

"No changes," she replied, tucking her straightened hair behind her ear again. "But that means he hasn't gotten any worse, so there's that."

"You'll let us know if anything changes with Colonel Rhodes's condition then?" Steve asked.

"Of course, sir. We'll send word immediately."

"Captain-" Tony started, his eyes narrowing.

"You need to sleep," Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And to eat. I'm sure the Colonel won't mind if you take a break."

"I..." Tony said, running a hand through his already mussed hair. "Okay."

"Okay?" Steve asked. He'd been steeling himself for a fight, and it threw him off not to have it.

"Yup. You won me over," Tony said, pulling a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and slipping them on. "Let's go. There's gotta be a place to get a hamburger around here somewhere. And remember, lots of sugar in his coffee. Don't let him tell you otherwise."

With that, Tony left the room. "That's not suspicious at all," Steve muttered before bidding the nurse good-bye and rushing to catch up with him.

Burgers, Steve discovered, could be found almost anywhere, even if Tony grumbled about liking Burger King better. But one second Tony was sitting next to him while Steve was politely listening to the sergeant assigned to them, and the next he was gone. Steve understandably panicked.

So did the sergeant. As he radioed in to find Tony, Steve looked around. There was another airman missing from their escort, so at least Tony wasn't sneaking around. He checked his phone and typed out a quick message to Natasha, filling her in.

" _It's about time you texted_ ," she replied.

" _Sorry_ ," he sent back.

" _You're lucky Stark kept Potts in the loop,_ " she texted. " _The airmen will find him. He can't go far on a military base without needing to have his clearance checked._ "

" _Hopefully_ ," Steve replied, hoping Tony wouldn't go off the grid just to lose him.

"Sir," Sergeant Williams said. "I've got a report saying he's gone to the hangar."

Surely Tony wouldn't strand him here? Steve followed Williams to the hangar, but it wasn't the one with the Stark Industries jet. In fact, Steve didn't see any aircraft when he looked around, though there was a ton of security to get in. Only...

Steve's eyes widened as he saw Tony in the middle of the hanger, staring at what looked like the remains of the Iron Man armor. His heart jumped to his throat. _Rhodes_ was Iron Man? He had asked out an officer of higher rank? Was that why...?

Steve swallowed. Natasha hadn't sent news of getting in touch with Iron Man, but there were other doubts. Iron Man didn't feel like he was military. And it didn't make sense for the military to let an operative stay with the Avengers for so much of the time.

He asked Williams to wait at the perimeter and walked to stand beside Tony. "Is that...?" he asked, not quite able to vocalize the question.

"War Machine," Tony said. He looked over at Steve and saw his confusion. "Not Iron Man. This one's Rhodey's. Well, technically it belongs to the Air Force, but if they try to put a different pilot in there the circuits fry until they're left with a pile of very expensive slag."

Steve felt relieved, then a little guilty. At least it wasn't Iron Man, even if he hoped Colonel Rhodes would pull through. "This is the suit you gave the Air Force?" he asked, recalling the limited data he'd seen in Stark's file. SHIELD had never seen it necessary to give him files on the other suit or its pilot, since he would have no ties to the Avengers for most of the time.

Then he realized where this was headed, seeing the guilt in Tony's eyes. "Colonel Rhodes was in the armor when he was hurt."

There was a tension in Tony's shoulders that became more pronounced. "It's supposed to protect him," Tony said, anger just barely hidden under the conversational tone. "It failed."

' _I failed_ ,' Steve heard, even if Tony didn't say it. He placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. "It's not your fault."

Tony batted his hand away, his own hands almost, but not quite, forming fists. "I made the suit. It. Failed. It's the most sophisticated manned armor outside of the Iron Man suit and only then because the idiot never comes around for upgrades often enough. It still wasn't enough to protect him."

Steve was quiet for a moment. He looked over at the remains of the suit, tracing the dents and broken wires. "He made his choice," Steve said finally, falling back on the only comfort he knew. The one Peggy had given him.

"What?" Tony asked, turning to face Steve finally.

Steve could see him gearing up to go on the offensive, so he hastened to explain. "Someone once told me that after... after Bucky died. She said it wasn't my fault, because Bucky chose to follow me, and he'd have gone even knowing what would happen. I'm willing to bet Rhodes was the same. Anyone you trust with those suits would have to be a hell of a person. Someone you thought deserved to pilot one. But he made that choice to put it on."

"Is _that_ what they told you?" Tony asked, sneering. "It was his _choice_? Does that make you feel better at night, telling yourself-"

"Shut it, Stark," Steve growled. "You know it doesn't."

To his surprise, Tony did stay quiet. He didn't look at Steve, turning back to the pieces of the silver armor.

Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead with his palm as he calmed his own temper. That hurt more than a lot of what Tony had said. That memory of Peggy was one he clung to. He shook his head to clear it. He could worry about that later. "Stop that," Steve ordered, though gentler than the last demand. "I get it. You're angry. But lashing out and pushing me away won't help."

"Who says?" Tony muttered under his breath.

He was going to ignore that. "Doesn't it ever get lonely, pushing everyone away like that?"

"No one stays," Tony said louder. "Better they leave now before they get in too deep."

"Did Rhodes ever leave?" Steve asked pointedly. "Ms. Potts? Iron Man?"

"They're all in too deep," Tony said, closing his eyes. "And look what happened to them. Rhodey's in a coma, Pepper has to clean up all my messes, and so does Iron Man."

"Their choice," Steve said again, even though it stung. "They knew going in what it'd be like."

"And why are you here, Rogers? Why do you care?" Tony turned to Steve again with a calculating look. "What's in it for you, because I know it's not my charming personality or wit."

The fact that Tony even had to ask him showed just how burned and scarred he was, even if Tony didn't realize it. "Because you're important to one of my best friends," Steve said, considering his words with care. "Because you've inspired loyalty from a lot of people despite making it hard to like you. Because I never really thanked you for helping me calm down earlier. Because I'd like to change those preconceptions I had about you. And because I've never been one to back down from a challenge. Iron Man must have told you that much at least."

"Most stubborn, pig-headed man he's met," Tony muttered, then walked toward the mess of wires and picked up the silver helmet. Something about him was more closed off now, and Steve wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. "I need to fix this. Make it better. You go to bed, Rogers. I'll follow in a bit."

Steve took the helmet that looked eerily like Iron Man's from Tony's hands, placing it back on the desk. "You need sleep," Steve said. "And I'd like it if you went back to calling me Steve."

"I didn't..." There was a hint of pink about Tony's cheeks that caught Steve's interest. Tony Stark was a very attractive man, make no mistake about that. Though the blush caught Steve off guard in a way he hadn't expected. But the last thing he needed was what Clint called a 'rebound', so he put it from his mind.

"Come on." Steve ruffled Tony's hair, who didn't fuss over it like Steve expected him to. "Bed."

"You gonna put me there, Cap?" Tony said, leering up at him.

It was Steve's turn to blush, but he put an arm around Tony's shoulders to pull him away from the armor. "You bet I am, mister, but to sleep. No funny stuff," Steve said sternly, which got a pout out of Tony. "And what'd I tell you about calling me by my name?"

"Steve... What I said earlier. Why aren't you angry?"

Steve could feel Tony's shoulders hunching over, but he pulled him in for a tighter hug. "I am angry," he said, because it still hurt a lot, carving out the empty part of him that missed Peggy and Bucky. "What you said... It doesn't matter."

"It does," Tony said miserably. "I shouldn't have... I'm sorry."

"You stopped," Steve said, pushing down the petty part of him that was a little glad for Tony's misery. "Doesn't take a genius to know you weren't lashing out because of me."

And the apology helped if Steve were being honest. As long as Tony stopped when Steve told him to, they might be able to work with this. It warmed something inside of Steve too when Tony used his given name, and he smiled at him.

Tony gave him a true, if broken and hesitant smile in return. "You shouldn't be doing this."

"My choice," Steve said, and Tony looked away. That was okay though. It was enough to win this battle.

* * *

Steve was chatting amiably with some of the airmen a few days later when his phone rang. He excused himself, then frowned as he looked at the unknown number. "Hello?" he said as he picked up the call.

"Hello, Captain. It's Pepper from Stark Industries."

Steve didn't ask how she had gotten his number, as JARVIS would probably give it to her if she asked. "How are you today, ma'am? It's pretty late there, isn't it?"

"I'd be better if Tony remembered to charge his phone," Ms. Potts replied. "It is getting late here though. Sorry to call you, but Tony's phone is out of service."

"No problem," he replied. "Is there a message you want me to pass along?"

"We need him back in New York," Ms. Potts said, her words reluctant. "I know it hasn't been long, but Dr. Banner said there were new readings and he's worried the Tachyon particles could become dangerous. R&D need Tony to look over a few things as well. I've contacted Jeanette already and she's ready to come out while Tony and I look in on Roberta to make sure she's doing alright. Not that she'll let us forget she can get by on her own - she's been feeling better."

"That's Colonel Rhodes's family, right?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Sorry," Ms. Potts apologized. "I forgot you still haven't met Rhodey properly. How... How is he doing?"

Steve watched the airmen going through their exercises in the gym, wishing he had better news. "His injuries are healing," Steve said. "But he still hasn't woken up yet. The doctor is hopeful though."

Ms. Potts was silent on the other end of the line, and he didn't interrupt as she processed that. When she spoke, there was a barely noticeable wobble to her voice. "Thank you for the update, Captain. Tony is usually good at charging his phone but... please let Tony know."

"Of course, ma'am. I'll make sure we get back soon," Steve said.

He hung up and wondered how Tony would take the news. He texted Natasha to let her know and ask if there was any news from Iron Man, then found his escort to inquire where Tony was.

By the time he got to the hangar where the War Machine armor was being kept, his phone chimed. ' _No word from Shellhead_.'

Steve bit his lip in worry, but tried his best to put it aside. He had to worry about Tony right now, who always went strangely silent when Steve asked about Iron Man.

Tony was banging at a dent in the chest plate, muttering about insufficient tools as music played from a laptop that was hooked up nearby and had a strange map on it. Tony had been practically inseparable from the computer, but he never let Steve see it for the most part. Steve didn't have time to investigate it, because Tony was paler than he should be considering the sun outside, and exhaustion hung about his shoulders no matter how Steve tried to make sure Tony slept. And now he had to tell Tony they needed to leave.

"You haven't been charging your phone," Steve said by way of greeting.

"I haven't?" Tony fished out his phone from his pocket. He hit a button that Steve couldn't see and nothing happened. "I haven't," Tony said, staring at it blankly.

"Ms. Potts called me," Steve said gently. "She said Bruce needed your help for the Tachyon particles. And she needed you in R&D."

Tony's shoulders hunched over for a brief second, before he forcibly straightened them. "I need to call Jeanette to-" He looked down at his phone, remembering belatedly it needed power.

Steve used the hesitation to reassure him. "Ms. Potts already called her. Mrs. Rhodes has been doing better, so as long as you and Ms. Potts look in on her, Ms. Rhodes will be out here soon."

"I'll start getting the jet ready then," Tony said, shaking his head. "I have to take the armor back to fix it anyway. I'll-"

"I'll take care of that," Steve said firmly as Tony shut the computer down. "Why don't you go sit with Colonel Rhodes until everything is ready?"

"You know how to prep the jet?" Tony asked pointedly.

"I'm on an Air Force base, Tony. I think I can ask if I get stuck," Steve replied. He did have some experience prepping a plane like the quinjet, but admittedly most of his experience was jumping out of planes or crashing them. The latter he preferred not to think about.

Tony looked torn, glancing between the armor and the door. "I'll make sure no one steals any of the parts," Steve said, then he hesitated. If it were anyone else...

Steve mentally shook himself, then draped an arm around Tony's shoulders. Tony tensed as Steve started to lead him out. He relaxed slowly, and Steve put it down to being surprised. Steve let out a small breath, glad he hadn't overstepped. Tony could be a hit or a miss when it came to his personal space sometimes, as Steve had learned over the past few days.

"Go on," Steve said, walking them over to the door. "I'll come get you when we're ready to leave."

Getting the jet ready required little effort, mostly just letting the pilot know and letting her take care of things. Steve did watch the movement of the armor carefully, because the last thing they needed was for even a piece of that, as maligned as it was, in the hands of people like the ones who had kidnapped Tony in the first place.

Once JARVIS assured him it was secure on the jet, Steve tried to think of anything else he could do to extend the time just a little longer without wasting it, but everything was falling into place. He went to the barracks and packed both of their things, then left to retrieve Tony.

The door was open when he got to the base hospital, and he leaned in the door way to see what was going on. Colonel Rhodes looked peaceful, the bruises still visible but fading. It was only the number of tubes protruding out of him that said there was anything too wrong. The doctor said they could ship him home in a couple of weeks, once they were sure the internal injuries were healed and Rhodes was really stable. It would at least be easier for Tony to visit there.

Tony was in his usual spot, a small distance away from the bed, staring at Rhodes like he was memorizing every detail. Whenever there was someone in the room, Tony would chat, moving constantly with his hands or tapping his feet. But when Steve caught him alone like this, he was still and silent, a detail that unnerved Steve the more he got to know Tony. It didn't feel right, seeing Tony so still. It was strange too, that he always kept a distance from the bed. Rhodes wasn't sick, so it wasn't because he was contagious. But Tony always at as far back as he could. It was like he was holding himself back for some reason, or hiding.

"Plane's ready," Steve said softly, unsure how to break the silence in a more comfortable way.

Tony blinked, then pushed his shoulders back from where they'd been hunched over. His face was blank in a way that made Steve wish for the fake expressions. "Okay," Tony said, standing as if to leave, but lingering. Steve didn't push him to move. Finally, he turned as if to follow Steve out, but changed his mind before he got more than a step and moved back to the bed instead. Tony hesitantly took Rhodes's hand with a grip that tightened.

Steve almost couldn't hear what Tony said next, because it certainly wasn't meant for Steve's ears, but even pitched that low the serum made up for the distance.

"If this is revenge for all the times I've worried you, the joke's really not funny anymore, sour patch," Tony said, bringing Rhodes's hand up slightly. "You can't... You can't just avoid me forever. It won't work. So you need... Fuck, this isn't working."

Tony dropped Rhodey's hand, then straightened it out once he realized what he'd done. He didn't look at Rhodes or Steve as he walked out, and Steve only just caught the hint of tears before they were hidden away by his sunglasses.

Steve gave one more glance at the Colonel and a quick prayer before following after Tony. There wasn't much more he could add.

* * *

Steve stared at the drawing he had started on the flight back, not really seeing it. The flight itself had been both much more comfortable and tenser than the one to Afghanistan. He wasn't squished against boxes, but Tony alternated between combative and moodily quiet the whole way. It grated on Steve's nerves until Steve snapped at him, telling him to stop. Tony apologized and did, but then it was almost worse. Without Steve to bother, he either paced or looked two seconds away from crying, typing away at his tablet and laptop he still hid from Steve.

Neither of them had really slept the whole flight, which just left Steve crankier. They hadn't parted on the best terms either, with Tony rushing off and leaving Steve the second they got back to the Tower.

"Wow, that's depressing."

He didn't jump at the voice in his ear, but it was a near thing. It meant he was really out of it, because silence was not this person's specialty. "Iron Man!" Steve said, turning to look at the familiar face plate. "Where have you been? We've been worried, and Tony only said you were busy."

"Sorry about that," Iron Man said as he came around the couch. "I was... it was personal business. I had to get away for a bit."

"Was it me?" Steve asked, looking back down at the drawing.

"What? I - oh," Iron Man said, shaking his head. "No. It wasn't. You're still my friend, Steve. I mean that."

Steve relaxed his grip on the notepad, wondering when he'd gripped it so tightly. Embarrassment flooded through him. Apparently not everything was about him and his confession. "Sorry," he said, still not looking up.

Iron Man sat down on the couch next to Steve and bumped their shoulders together. "Don't apologize for that," he said. "I was finding out more information about what happened to Rhodey since the video from the suit is messed up. Mr. Stark was working on that while I tried to find some other leads."

That made sense. "You could have called us for back up. We'd have been willing to track down whoever did this."

"It was personal," Iron Man said darkly.

Steve understood that well enough, even if he didn't agree with Iron Man's lone wolf routine. "We'd still like to help. Are you close to the Colonel?"

The armor went still. "I..."

He took that as a yes and didn't press further. "The doctor said there's a good chance he'll wake up," Steve said.

"Yeah," Iron Man said, staring at the wall. The face plate always had a certain blankness to it, but something told Steve Iron Man wasn't really seeing anything at the moment. This time Steve bumped their shoulders together, even though the odds were that Iron Man wouldn't feel it as he did.

"So what's with the depressing drawing?" Iron Man asked.

The problem with letting Iron Man change the subject was that now they were hitting on Steve's sore points. "I don't think I intended to draw it this way," Steve admitted.

Most of the page was shaded black, only enough white to see the lines of a small kitten abandoned in a box. A tuxedo, curled in the bottom with its ears flattened, but no anger. There was a vague hand off to the side that Steve had been tracing, but he didn't think the hand was going to help the kitten. Now that he looked at it, the kitten's eyes reminded him a lot of Tony's. "Just have a lot on my mind, I guess."

"I... Okay, that's...." Iron Man said, sounding both angry and distressed. "Is it because of Mr. Stark? You don't have to keep putting up with him, especially not if he's making you feel like that."

"It's not..." It was partially because of Tony, but not in the way Iron Man was thinking. "It's not like that. He said a lot of hurtful things, but I don't get the feeling that he means them. He's scared of a lot and lashing out," Steve replied. "I can handle him, as long as he starts trying to not lash out as much and talk to me."

"Then is it me?" Iron Man asked softly. "I've been a pretty crappy friend recently. I'm sorry."

"No," Steve said, though he wasn't sure how to explain to Iron Man that it really was about his boss. "I..."

In the end, he couldn't quite articulate it. There was a brief awkward silence that Iron Man finally broke. "Well, this got depressing. I have a message for you, by the way."

"A message?" Steve looked over at Iron Man, who was shifting on the couch.

"Yup. You've got a package in your room from Mr. Stark. Updated uniform. Looks just the same as before but with better protection. Should be able to withstand alien blasts now."

Steve stared at him in shock. It had only been four days since they got back and most of it Tony had either been working with Bruce or holed up in his workshop. Had Tony been working on it before, or had he been forgoing sleep to get it done? Steve wasn't a betting man, but he knew where to place his money, sadly. "That's very kind of him."

"It's an apology of sorts, for the way he was acting," Iron Man explained. "He gets like that sometimes, and he tries not to be near people when it happens. But, well..."

"The plane was only so big," Steve finished for him. "He couldn't make the apology in person?"

"He was afraid he'd just make things worse," Iron Man said. "He even kicked me out of the workshop."

Steve frowned, wishing there was something he could do if Tony was still that upset. "Tell him thank you for me."

"What are your intentions towards Mr. Stark?" Iron Man asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?" Steve had _no_ intentions towards anyone right now, not when he still had a torch for Iron Man.

"I mean, that came out wrong." Iron Man's gauntlet rubbed at the face plate just where his temple would be. "Why were you trying to meet with him before Rho - before?"

That made a bit more sense, he supposed. "It didn't seem right, how everyone was gossiping about him when he puts us up like he does," Steve answered, determined to keep the eavesdropping secret this time. He didn't think Iron Man would take that particularly well either, since Tony Stark tended to be a sore spot he protected in his own strange way.

"So you just what? Wanted to thank him? I could have passed along the message."

"Did he tell you that?" Steve felt inexplicably hurt by the fact Tony would rather not see him, even after all of that.

"No," Iron Man said. "He's not the easiest guy to get along with though. You don't have to deal with him because of misplaced guilt or gratitude."

The statement burned at him as he clutched his notepad again. Anger turned his voice cold. "He _did_ tell you to say that."

"Cap? Are you okay?"

Iron Man's lack of denial sunk in. And people thought Tony Stark was an egocentric double-dealer. Steve was torn between wanting to shake the man or pull him into a tight hug. "I don't know who you're trying to protect here, me or him," Steve said, forcing his fingers to relax. "But you can tell him I'm still not giving up. And remind him he needs to stop pushing me away like that if this friendship going to work. He needs to put in some effort too."

Iron Man was quiet for a long time. The face plate was blank, so Steve didn't know what to make of the silence broken only by the low hum of the arc reactor. Then he nodded with a short, jerky motion at odds with the usually graceful armor. "I... Okay. I'll let him know."

There was something going on here that Steve was missing. He didn't _think_ Iron Man would be jealous of Steve and Tony becoming friends with the other people. But that was the only explanation that Steve could think of. It just didn't fit at all with what he knew of Iron Man. So he was missing some piece of the puzzle, but he wasn't going to figure it out just staring at Iron Man. "You alright, Shellhead? You're acting a bit funny."

"Excuse you. I'm not a bit funny. I'm hysterical," Iron Man said, and Steve felt some of the tension dissipate. "Now let's go. That new uniform won't try on itself and Mr. Stark wanted to know how it moves."

Steve debated pushing it, but then let it slide. It really didn't feel like jealousy. He considered it as he put his notebook away and followed Iron Man back to his room, only half listening to the list of modifications and upgrades Iron Man was talking about.

It might just be the reminder that Iron Man's loyalty to Stark was more important than his relationship with Steve that was bothering him. Maybe _Steve_ was the one being jealous.

Loyalty was one of the reasons he loved Iron Man, Steve reminded himself firmly as he watched Iron Man gesture animatedly. He forced a smile on his face, even as the ache grew. He couldn't fault Shellhead for that, not when he valued that trait so highly.

* * *

The new uniform was easier to move in, he'd give it that. He wasn't too keen to find out if it really did stop futuristic robot energy blasts, however, so he kept his shield close to deflect the beams. Thankfully, decapitating robots in close quarters was just as satisfying as throwing his shield, and seeing the wires up close as the machine stumbled back fulfilled a dark desire Steve usually tried to ignore. It got his blood running the way nothing else ever did and as much as Steve hated it, he _needed_ it too.

At least with robots, as long as the civilians were kept away, no one was actually getting hurt. It was harmless this time, far enough outside the city that even the property damage was minimal, and he focused on that instead of the way the robots fell back.

"What's Doom thinking anyway?" Clint said after calling out a formation to Thor. "Taking over the world is fun, so robots?"

"He needs to work on his timing," Natasha said. "Wake the Fantastic Four out of their beds, not us. I'm not in the mood."

Steve let his shield fly, ducking behind a car as the robots continued to shoot. "Save the innuendos for later," he said. She had a point though. It wasn't a particularly good time for Doom to attack, either for the Avengers or for Doom. Latveria had just come off of an uprising, and most of the superhero community assumed it would be a month or two at least before Doom got his feet back under him.

"Cap, you are literally the only one who went there," Iron Man said cheerfully. "Also, way more than I wanted to think about when it comes to Victor Von Doom. Keep your fantasies to yourself, old man."

Steve groaned inwardly as he caught his shield and sliced it through another robot. He wasn't going to live that one down any time soon.

"A warrior's exploits in the bedroom make for a grand epic in the songs of Asgard," Thor added over the com. "It goes well with aged mead."

"Okay, you got me curious now," Iron Man said, his voice a little apprehensive. "Tell me there's songs of-"

Iron Man's voice cut off, and Steve picked off a robot with his shield that had been targeting Clint. Natasha got the other one. "Iron Man?" he called out when the silence went on. "Sitrep, now. Who has eyes on Iron Man?"

"He appears well, Captain," Thor said, easing some of the worry. "Iron Man is currently looking over the remains of one of our foes."

"Okay, so this is bad," Iron Man said a moment later.

"Define bad?" Natasha grunted, waving thanks to Clint for an assist.

"This isn't Doctor Doom."

"Why would someone frame Doom?" Clint asked as Hulk roared in the distance. " _Who_ could frame Doom? Because honestly, these guys are actually harder to down than normal, so if someone is improving Doom's bots, that's bad."

"Don't know, but the circuitry on this thing isn't Doom's. Doom is good for someone who mass produces, and he's hellish on his own turf, but this is..."

There were a few curses that sent Steve's stomach into twists.

"I take that back," Iron Man said, and Steve could hear anger and panic in the synthesized voice. "It is Doom circuitry, according to Mr. Stark. It's also _Stark_ circuitry, which shouldn't be possible."

"Can you shut it down?" Steve asked, because this was something to worry about after the robots were destroyed.

"Mr. Stark is working on - damn it!"

This time Steve didn't need to ask after the reason. The remaining robots, even the ones that had been downed, disappeared in a flash of white light.

"Thor, Mr. Stark says Dr. Foster's phone isn't on and he needs her on the line, ASAP," Iron Man snapped.

"Mr. Stark _does_ know it's 3 am in Arizona, right?" Clint asked.

"Did what I just see not terrify anyone else? No?" Iron Man said scathingly.

"Iron Man, stand down," Steve said, understanding his frustration but the last thing they needed was to have a spat on the battlefield. Iron Man always got touchy when it came to other people using Stark Tech, and if those robots were anything to go by, he could see why. But now wasn't the time to lose their heads. "Thor?"

"I will contact Darcy Lewis. She may know where Jane is," Thor replied.

"Widow, I could also use that Lullaby you've been concocting right about now," Iron Man said.

"On it," Natasha replied, heading in the direction of Hulk's frustrated roar.

"Hawkeye, Iron Man, you and I are going to look for any remains that didn't disappear. Thor, join us when you can."

"You got it, Cap."

"No can do."

The former came from Clint, the latter from Iron Man. "Is there something else?" Steve said, worry spiking again.

"Stark needs me back in the lab with the Tachyon readings. For the record, you're probably wasting your time looking for parts, but if you find any, Mr. Stark wants it stat."

"So Mr. Stark is in charge of the Avengers now?" Steve bit out, worry turning to anger and frustration before he could help it. Iron Man was far more useful _here_ where he could send the results to Stark and let him do the science work. The fight had taken place on a highway, and there was still clean up to do.

"Unless you're suddenly an expert on highly advanced robots that even Mr. Stark is having trouble with, then yes. You want to be petty and jealous, fine, but I'm going with his orders at the moment. Bye," Iron Man said, clicking off the com audibly.

Steve knew yelling after him wouldn't help as Iron Man probably blocked all of them. He also knew bashing his shield into the near by car wouldn't help. Both were tempting.

It was always Stark first.

"Come, Steve," Thor said, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Stark does know more than we do in this case, and jealousy does not sit well on your shoulders."

Steve flushed with shame, unable to keep anger from filling him. He looked away. "I hate feeling this way," he said softly. He felt small and angry, like nothing he did would matter. It was like before he got the serum all over again, except now it was worse since he had pushed his friend away.

"And you fight it honorably in most cases," Thor admonished. "But now you would be wise to let it go. You can talk with him later when you are both calmer."

Steve's shoulders hunched as he let Thor lead him to Clint's position. He wished it were that easy.

* * *

There were no robots, pieces or otherwise, but they were able to clean up for the construction crew and no one died today, so Steve was counting it as a tentative win.

There was no Iron Man either when they got back to the Tower in the late afternoon, but a tired Bruce waved at them as they returned to the kitchen, pushing up his glasses as he sipped at his tea. "Any luck?" Natasha asked, turning the kettle back on.

"Not really," Bruce said, shaking his head. "And I'd steer clear of Stark for a while. The fact that there's some Stark Tech in those robots has him in a mood."

"Too much for you?" Clint said sympathetically, sitting next to Bruce and putting his feet in the doctor's lap.

Bruce stared at Clint's feet for a moment, but allowed it. He then chuckled. "The other guy can handle Stark's frustration. It's me that can't handle his drive. I don't know how he does it without collapsing from exhaustion. Even I need breaks sometimes or it feels like my head will burst keeping up with him."

This time when the irrational jealousy popped up, Steve kept a lid on it. It still bristled him though, that _the Hulk_ could handle Tony Stark better than he could. Great, now he was feeling jealous on two fronts.

Steve just wanted this day to end.

"Are you saying he's more of a genius than you?" Natasha said playfully.

"I'm saying this genius needs at least six hours of sleep before he can keep thinking about particles that are completely outside of his range of study. And as far as I'm concerned Jane is just as much of a menace, but at least Tony can't prod her awake when she nods off on the other side of the line," Bruce said.

"You've worked with Stark before though, right?" Clint asked, closing his eyes as Bruce absently massaged his calves. They were all pretty exhausted.

"Yes and no," Bruce said. "I've seen enough of his work to know the science community would go nuts if he was bothered enough to publish, but Coulson had been dead set against bringing Stark in for finding the Tesseract. Most of the input I got from him on finding it came through a secret communication Iron Man had. I always assumed it was because Coulson was hiding the weapons, but..." Bruce looked down at his tea, contemplating it quietly.

"Iron Man hacked it anyway," Steve said.

"That and when I asked Iron Man about it, he just shrugged. There was always something strange between him and Coulson. Not animosity, but it was hard to put a finger on," Bruce replied.

"I did find it most strange that Agent Coulson was against bringing in Stark," Thor said.

Natasha hummed as she added tea leaves to the water and passed a second cup to a grateful Bruce. "You wouldn't be the only one. Clint and I knew Coulson pretty well, but how he handled Stark has always been strange."

Clint, for his part, looked longingly at Bruce's tea, then up at Natasha. She raised an eyebrow. "Cruel, Nat. I don't rate high enough in your affections?"

"Nope," she replied, eyes lingering on Bruce.

Clint had a mock betrayed look before he shrugged at Thor. "Heard Phil got in a huge fight about it with Nick, but no one was ever sure why. Hell if either of them would talk to me about it."

"Neither of them would speak to me about it either," Natasha said, squeezing Clint's shoulder at the slight hurt Steve could hear in both of their voices.

"The mystery of Tony Stark deepens," Bruce said with a sigh. "I can't help but feel like I've met Stark before too. He's familiar in a way I just can't place."

Thor tilted his head to the side, crossing his arms. "Tony Stark does not seem like a man one would easily forget."

"That's for sure," Clint agreed.

Bruce sipped his tea, wrapping his hands around the mug like he coveted its warmth. "I don't know. Maybe it's just the way he pokes at me like Iron Man does that's messing with my head."

"He what?" Steve asked. Iron Man prodding the Hulk was one thing. Inadvisable, still, but something the team had come to accept. Tony didn't have a suit of armor in case something went wrong though. He wasn't trained like Natasha or Clint either, who were both now familiar with fighting with the Hulk.

Bruce's lips tilted up in a rare smile. "The man's crazy, I'll give him that. It's nice though. There aren't many people who have no fear of the Other Guy. I could get used to that kind of crazy."

At least Bruce had a handle on it. And if it made him happy, Steve supposed he couldn't protest. He did trust both Bruce and the Hulk, but he was also worrying in a way that Steve was not going to think about while carrying a torch for someone else.

"Have either of you eaten?" Steve asked instead, deciding it was high time he stepped up if he was going to battle those feelings.

Bruce looked sheepishly down at his tea and Steve and Natasha shared a look. "We were both kind of caught up in Dr. Foster's theories," he muttered. "Other than a few blueberries, I don't think either of us have eaten."

Natasha tisked. "For someone who lectures Steve about high metabolisms, you should maybe listen to them yourself once and a while."

Steve helped her prepare some sandwiches as Thor headed for the fridge to start a salad. Meals, Steve found, tended to require more than one cook when over three of the Avengers were involved.

"I should call Darcy again as well," Thor said thoughtfully. He was smiling absently, with a glow in his eyes he only ever got when talking about Jane. "Jane's enthusiasm also makes her forget the needs of her body."

Steve listened to the chatter as he stole a piece of cheese to nibble on while working. He had a half-baked plan forming, and he set aside a portion of the sandwiches from the rest. When the others were preparing to eat, he put that portion on a tray with some juice and a couple of apples. "I'll take this down to Mr. Stark," he said, earning him a few raised eyebrows.

"Maybe you shouldn't," Bruce said, hiding a yawn. "I meant it about him being in a mood. He seems like the sort that does better with a bit of space sometimes."

Steve shrugged. "I've dealt with him in a mood before."

"Not well," Natasha reminded him.

Steve winced, but held on to his tray. "I have a better idea what I'm getting myself into this time."

"Good luck, buddy," Clint said, offering Steve a lazy salute. "We'll make sure the funeral is tasteful."

"Whose funeral?" Natasha asked.

"Could go either way. I'm up for a wager if you are," Clint replied.

"No taking bets on me and Tony killing each other," Steve said as he walked out, not sticking around to see if the order was followed. Honestly, it was like his team didn't believe he could do this. Not that his track record was particularly good, but a bit of morale could go a long way.

While Steve was fairly adaptable and good at expecting the unexpected outcomes in battle, to say he was surprised to see Nick Fury leaning against the wall as he walked out was an understatement. He nearly dropped the sandwiches, but he caught them just in time. What was Fury doing at the Tower unannounced? "Director Fury. I thought the debriefing was tomorrow?"

"It is," Fury said, eying the sandwiches. "But I wanted to talk to you first privately."

Steve held back his disappointment. While he was definitely a little apprehensive about going down to see Tony, he was also looking forward to potentially sharing the meal. Tony was difficult and prickly, but Steve suspected he had a lot of caring underneath if Steve could manage to keep his temper long enough to keep Tony from going off. And if _Bruce_ could handle Tony at his worst, Steve was determined to make a go at it. Maybe it was for the best though, if Tony really was in a mood.

"Let me take these down to Mr. Stark first and I'll meet you in the conference room, sir," Steve said.

"Those are for Stark?" Fury said, frowning. "Didn't realize he rated special treatment from Captain America."

"From what I hear he's only been snacking on fruit," Steve said, not rising to the bait, but only just.

Fury looked at the plate again, then at Steve. "From what I know of Stark, he's usually never hurting for food. You can go after. Won't take long, but I've come to talk to you about Stark."

Steve raised his eye brows, but Fury only gave him a look that said not to argue and turned to the Avengers' conference room, his trench coat flowing after him.. Steve followed reluctantly, putting the tray down as Fury set up some kind of device on the table. "To keep out eavesdroppers," Fury said, gesturing for Steve to take a seat.

"Is there a problem with Stark?" Steve asked, settling into his normal chair. It was strange, not having the others around him. Iron Man's seat to his left felt particularly empty. He still had to apologize for how he'd acted...

"Captain, there hasn't been a time when Stark wasn't a problem," Fury said, pointedly looking down at the tray. "And I hear that you've been trying to get close to him."

Steve's hands twitched at his sides as his earlier anger found new release. "I'm not spying for you to find out who Iron Man is."

"And that would be best for all involved, since confirming what I already know would just make the situation worse," Fury said, nodding.

"You... already know who Iron Man is?" Steve asked, anger turning to a different sort of burning. Indignation, certainly. Curiosity was another, and it was on the tip of his tongue to ask despite knowing how much of a breach of trust that would be.

"I have a suspicion based on a lot of circumstantial evidence, some of which the public is not privy to," Fury said. "It's an educated guess at best, if one I'm banking a lot on. But Iron Man or Tony Stark knowing that I know? The trouble that would cause isn't worth the certainty. And they would find out. Stark's case has already been too mishandled for more mistakes."

"So if you don't want to know who Iron Man is, what do you want, sir?" Steve asked. "Why come to me?"

"Got a promise to keep to an old friend," Fury said. "Did anyone ever tell you who the handler for Iron Man was when he first appeared?"

"It wasn't on the report," Steve replied, bringing up a mental picture of it. Coulson's name was on every report after, but the first one had been nameless. 

"Agent Coulson was the one who ran that op," Fury said.

"But why wasn't his name on that report?" Steve asked, feeling a twinge of sorrow that accompanied Coulson's name. He hadn't known the man that well, but Natasha, Clint, and Iron Man seemed to have.

"Plausible deniability. Said he caught a bug and was too sick for the night of that op, and that was the report given to him," Fury said.

Steve frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "But why? What was he denying?"

"Lot of things, Captain. The important ones right now that he denied was at the scene to know certain things, and that he ran things by the book for that op." Fury stood, going to stand by one of the paintings on the wall. It was a modern art piece that Steve suspected Ms. Potts had chosen. "But that was the problem. Running it by the book backfired spectacularly."

"It didn't seem that out of the ordinary to me, other than the fact they couldn't find out who Iron Man was," Steve said.

Fury closed his eyes, looking older than Steve had ever seen him. "Not on the surface. Phil always was good at reports. But he realized the problem before his debrief with me and insisted he never found out Iron Man's identity. It was too late to change course by that point, and he was putting out fires."

"You think he lied."

"I _know_ he lied," Fury replied. "Phil was one of the best agents I've known, but he can't keep secrets from me. I trusted his judgement, because Phil actually believed in protecting people. And that was when Phil started to do his damnest to keep Tony Stark as far from SHIELD as he could."

"Why? Did he have some sort of grudge against Tony?" Steve asked. He found it hard to believe that Tony would hurt people, at least on the level Fury was implying. Tony only aimed to hurt when he himself was hurting. He'd seen that easily enough in their first meeting when Tony had been friendly up to Steve making incorrect assumptions. Tony had been genuinely kind to the airmen and hospital staff.

Fury noted his use of Tony's given name with a faint look of surprise. Steve refused to back down from that, looking back at Fury and keeping his chin up despite his embarrassment for the slip. He didn't know why he was keeping up 'Mr. Stark' with Fury and the others, but he suspected it might have to do with some denial of his own and he wasn't going to think about that right now.

"I think it was more to protect Stark from SHIELD than the other way around," Fury said, watching Steve carefully. "He felt that with his original failing, SHIELD would only make the matter worse. With what I know now, I agree with him. Didn't always, which is why I sent Natasha in to get around Coulson, but her cover was blown too soon due to another agent's bad call."

Frowning, Steve chased the implications of that. Why would Tony be in danger at SHIELD? His name had been cleared of the double dealing, even if the media kept hounding him for it as a cover up. He didn't think most SHIELD agents harbored any ill intentions toward Tony either, though he also thought there was no love lost between Tony and SHIELD - just not enough to need that sort of caution.

"Why would he do that?" Steve asked, baffled. Unless SHIELD was really _that_ inflexible as an agency not to bend the rule books, Steve couldn't connect the dots. It was extremely frustrating to say the least, and he had the feeling Fury planned it that way.

"Need to know basis, Captain," Fury said, confirming his suspicions. "You'll figure it out eventually if you succeed."

"Succeed in what?" Steve asked, reminding himself not to take out his frustration on his CO.

"A favor from an old friend," Fury said. "Phil always said he regretted how the Stark/Iron Man case was handled, and he wanted to fix that mistake, though he could never figure out how on his own. With him gone, I'm hoping you can fix what SHIELD messed up."

"And you're not gonna tell me what it is, are you?" Steve asked. "What's the point of telling me all this? What's your aim, Fury?"

"Because even that little bit might be helpful to Stark," Fury said. "And to warn you. Stark hasn't been the most forthcoming with a lot of the information on the portals. That has a lot of the boys in the lab worried. Might be that he can handle it by himself. I'm not so sure. Look out for him, Captain."

"You think he's hiding something, sir?"

"Everyone hides things, Cap. You need to find out why he's hiding it. Because that's starting to worry me," Fury replied.

Steve leaned back in the chair, shaking his head. "And if I think you don't need to know his reasons either?"

A smile snuck across his face. "I trust you, but not that much yet. I have my ways even if you don't want to talk. You just happen to be the way Stark would find least offensive at the moment and that could benefit everyone involved."

As long as Fury let Steve decide how far to compromise, he could agree for now. He was pretty sure if he did find something SHIELD shouldn't know, Fury would still keep it quiet even if he did find out. He did wonder what Iron Man's involvement with all of this was though. He stood and picked up the tray. "Fair enough. Is that all, sir?"

"That's all, Captain," Fury said as Steve started to leave. "And good luck. With Stark, you'll need it."

"Funny," Steve said, turning to get the last word. "My experience says you just need a little of patience and a lot of stubborn to get through to him."

With that, he left. Maybe he didn't always have patience in spades, but stubborn? That he could do.

* * *

'A mood' was probably an understatement, Steve decided. JARVIS let him in when he asked, surprisingly silent as the door opened, but he wasn't expecting to find Tony on the floor curled around himself, gasping for breath and shaking in the midst of broken parts of the Iron Man suit.

Steve immediately placed the tray on the table and ignored his own hunger to crouch down beside Tony. He didn't touch the man, but he wanted to. He wished he knew how Tony would react to it. He could keep Tony from hurting either of them easily, but from what Tony had babbled about that first day in Afghanistan, the last thing he needed was to be restrained.

"Tony?" he asked gently.

"Go 'way."

"I'd rather not," Steve said. He understood the need for space, but the thought of leaving Tony down here like this chilled him. "Can I touch you?"

Tony didn't respond at first. Then he nodded, and Steve carefully sat down beside him. Thinking back to what Tony had said before, he ran his fingers through Tony's hair, massaging gently.

Tony was rigid for a few seconds before he went limp against Steve's shoulder. He didn't speak. The silence felt wrong. It reminded Steve of Iron Man, who often went still when he was upset.

He pulled Tony into a proper hug as the trembling subsided. "Is this okay?' he asked. Steve felt more than saw the nod against his shoulder, so he looked at the pieces of the armor strewn across the floor. He wondered where Iron Man was, leaving his boss in as many pieces as the armor. Or had Tony sent him on some other mission with a different armor, collapsing after?

"What set it off?" Steve asked, keeping his voice soft.

Tony laughed, a bitter and broken sound. "It doesn't matter what I make," he said, shuddering against Steve. "Even if I'm not making weapons anymore, it still doesn't fucking _matter_ , because someone will steal it and hurt people. It's all going to be used to kill people and it's my own goddamn fault for-"

"Shh," Steve said, hugging Tony tighter. Tony was tensing up again, and Steve resumed petting Tony's hair. It was softer than he expected, and despite the slight dampness because of sweat, Steve enjoyed the motion and found it soothing for himself as well. He wondered how Tony would take to having his hair ruffled. "It's not your fault."

"It is, damn it!" Tony said, punching the ground. "JARVIS, play the video again."

"Video?" Steve asked, starting when a screen popped up in front of him. That was out of the _air_. He'd seen holograms before, but always with some sort of table underneath. He didn't have time to marvel at Tony's technology though, because the video captured his attention.

At first he thought it was a video of their fight earlier. The robots were the same, but the scenery was different. That was the middle of the desert, not a highway in New York. Then he realized the man's voice in the armor wasn't Iron Man, but it was familiar. "Colonel Rhodes," Steve said, the realization dawning on him. That was the same voice he'd heard arguing with Tony the day he'd been trying to draw.

"The robots we fought this morning were the same ones that attacked him," Steve said, fully grasping why Tony had worked himself up this much.

"And they've got my circuitry in them," Tony said, self-loathing dripping from his voice as he curled tighter around his knees. "Things I made hurt Rhodey."

" _No_ ," Steve said, turning to Tony and pulling him against his chest. He felt momentary resistance before Tony caved against him. "It was the fault of whoever made those things, not yours. And we will find them and make sure they are brought to justice."

Tony didn't say anything as the video continued to play, his face ducked against Steve, and Steve rubbed small circles into Tony's lower back as he watched the video fizzle out and Rhodes's scream cut off. ' _Play the video **again**_ ,' Tony had said. How many times has Tony watched this? Bruce said Tony was driven, and now he knew why.

It was only a minute or so after the video ended before Tony jerked away, standing through sheer force of will and anger despite the fact Steve could see his legs shaking. Steve scrambled to follow him, half afraid Tony was going to topple over. Surprisingly enough, _Steve_ felt dizzy, and his vision blanked for a moment before he caught his balance.

"I need to get back to work," Tony said, his shoulders hunched in a line of pain and fury. Steve knew Tony wasn't angry at the person who did this either. "I need-"

Steve grabbed his wrist. "You need rest, Tony. I'm surprised you're still able to think at this point."

"No," Tony said, and Steve could see the fear behind his eyes at the mention of sleep. "I need to find that bastard. I need to fix this."

"You-"

Steve was interrupted by a loud rumbling noise. It took him a moment to realize it was his stomach. He flushed as Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Tony asked, some of the anger draining out of him. "Looking a bit peaky there, Cap. You know increased metabolism means you need to eat more."

"I brought food?" Steve said, gesturing to the half-forgotten sandwiches.

Tony looked at the sandwiches, his eyes widening in surprise. "Why...?"

"Bruce said you'd only been eating fruit," Steve said, walking back over to the tray. "It's not much, but I thought you might want something."

"I should get back to work..." Tony said.

Steve wisely didn't say that Tony's work appeared to be consisting of smashing apart the Iron Man suit at the moment. "You could join me?" Steve said instead. "I think the others have probably finished by now, and it's lonely eating alone."

He waited as Tony wavered, not pressing further. He planted his feet so as not to move on them as he waited and told himself not to be disappointed if Tony wanted to be alone since that was exactly what he himself had done after his nightmare. Bruce said Tony was better with space.

He let out a soft breath as Tony gingerly walked over, and sat down at the computer chair. Steve looked around for another and was glad to see he didn't have to go far. He rolled it over then passed Tony a sandwich and napkin.

Tony took the sandwich, but he didn't eat it. He stared down at it as Steve's stomach reminded him again that it had been put off long enough. Very loudly. He grabbed one of his own and started to dig in. His mother had taught him to be more polite than inhaling his food, but he only slowed down enough to be barely socially acceptable among people.

Steve started on his second before Tony began to eat his, but Steve was just glad to see the man eat. They ate in a subdued silence, and Steve was getting the feeling Tony didn't know what to make of any of this. Steve honestly felt a little smug that he'd managed to throw Tony Stark off his game.

As the silence wore on though, Steve felt his curiosity get the better of him. "Is Iron Man around?" he asked hesitantly, not looking at the armor strewn around the ground. Thinking about that too long unsettled him, even if he knew his friend wasn't actually in the suit and the armor was just bits of machinery.

"He's..." Tony said, freezing. Then his shoulders slumped. "He's trying to trace the robots back to their source with some other leads, but he's not having much luck."

Steve nodded, pushing away the disappointment. "Could you tell him I'd like to speak with him if he's up for a break sometime?"

Tony gave him a press-conference smile. Something had gone wrong. That told Steve that he had gone wrong somewhere, but he couldn't tell where he had misstepped for the life of him. "Of course, Captain," Tony said. "I'll let him know."

 _Captain_. Definitely a misstep. And Peggy laughed at him when he said he had two left feet.

The thought of Peggy set Steve doubly wrong-footed. It hit him sharply how he missed her laugh, and he had to close his eyes a moment to push it away. Tony didn't need his problems as well.

Before Tony could ask him what was wrong, Steve jumped on a thought he had been absently chasing. "I was thinking about how to find out who is really responsible," Steve said, mulling the idea over in his head as he spoke. It was risky, but it could work. "You've talked with Dr. Foster and Bruce about the robots disappearing. Anyone else?"

Tony winced. "We tried to get in touch with Reed Richards, but it's been spotty. He and his family are off the grid right now, and the connection is a hit or miss."

"Have you tried Doctor Doom?" Steve asked.

Tony's eyes went comically wide. "Sure, I'll just call up a dictator from a hostile nation for consultation," Tony said, falling back on sarcasm.

"I'm serious," Steve said. "Iron Man said it was yours _and_ his technology in those robots, and whoever's behind it is actively framing him. I'd say he's got an interest in finding this guy as much as we do. You can send Iron Man to talk to him."

"That's insane," Tony said.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," Steve quoted. "It's worth a shot."

"Is Captain America honestly suggesting we make nice with a super villain?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Captain America would never work with a dictator!" Steve said, fighting to keep the smile from over coming his mock outrage. "But Steve Rogers knows tactics and that you can't always do something by yourself. What do you think?"

"It's still insane," Tony said, shaking his head. Steve looked down, the rejection stinging. Then Tony continued, "But it could work. I think Iron Man can come up with a few ways to get his attention and force contact."

"Tell him to be careful, but good. We'll be here if he needs backup." Steve passed another sandwich down to him and smiled reassuringly. It made him happier than he wanted to think about that Tony accepted the suggestion, even if the thought of Iron Man doing it alone bothered him. Still, going in with all the Avengers wouldn't look good in terms of making an alliance, and Tony and Iron Man were the best equipped to handle the science side of things. "We'll figure it out, Tony. I promise."

Tony nodded, and he looked lighter now that there was a clearer plan. The self-hatred that Steve had seen was all but dispersed now that he had a course of action. Steve wondered if it had really gone, or if it had just been pushed back by a sense of urgency.

Steve knew that Tony cared a lot about Rhodes, and that it was torturing him to know his tech was still being used to hurt people, but he'd never guessed how far that went. While he hated seeing Tony like that, the depth of that caring left him a little breathless if he thought about it too hard.

As Steve cleared everything away on the tray, he was already forgotten by Tony who was muttering and toying with holograms as he finished the last of his sandwich. He looked a little goofy like that, gracefully changing the projections with one hand and stuffing his mouth with the other, only pausing to call out orders to JARVIS. Steve smiled, wondering how many people got to see Tony like this, lost in equations and his own brilliant inventions. Tony's brown eyes flickered over the numbers and the light reflected back in them, making them almost glow. It made Steve's fingers twitch for his art pad, though he doubted he could recreate the colors even on a tablet. He felt a fondness that...

Steve swallowed, his smile dimming. If Iron Man had turned him down, he didn't have a chance in the world with Tony Stark. Tony was so far out of his league that Steve didn't think he could even hold the bat. Still, it was a bit like a harmless little crush on a celebrity, not as grounded and all-encompassing as his feelings for Iron Man. It couldn't hurt anyone, right?

He picked up the tray and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

Tony looked up, puzzlement and uncertainty in his eyes. "Steve?"

"I'll leave you to it," Steve said, recalling his earlier smile to his face. "Thanks for having dinner with me."

"You're welcome," Tony said, still looking out of his depth.

Steve squeezed his shoulder once more and left it at that, returning the tray to the kitchen. He passed Natasha on his way, then called out to her on second thought. "Do we have any precautions for working with super villains?" he asked.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to like what you've got planned, am I?" she said, though she detailed a few general contingencies for him.

He was going to keep that promise to Tony. They just had to figure out how.

* * *

In the next few days Steve saw very little of Tony and none of Iron Man. The latter was disappointing but understandable, given the flurry of activity between the scientists of the group. Turned out that Doom did want in, but only so far. Steve wasn't surprised to find that Victor von Doom preferred to let them do the dirty work while he stayed out of it beyond lending some technical expertise. He didn't like needing Doom, but from what Bruce had said, he'd been very helpful so far.

He was surprised to hear a familiar voice in the hallway, but grateful for the mechanized timbre. "-let anyone know. It sucks, but we can't raise the alarm. Which is why I need you there for the extra protection."

"You got it boss," he heard a man say, one that Steve was pretty sure he didn't know. He rounded the corner to the Avengers common room to see Iron Man talking to a stocky blond man in a suit. "I'll make sure nothing happens to him."

"I know you will, Happy," Iron Man said, a fondness in his voice that made Steve smile. "Just make sure you're on that plane tomorrow because - Oh, hey there, Winghead!"

The blond man had been smiling before, but he started to frown when he saw Steve. "Is he authorized to be on this floor?" 'Happy' asked, advancing on a startled Steve. "Where's your badge, buddy?"

"I... " Steve said, at a loss of what to do.

"Happy, this is Captain America. Of course he's authorized to be here," Iron Man said, something in his voice telling Steve that he was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah? Well he should still wear his badge," Happy said, pushing on Steve's chest with his finger.

"Happy, he lives here. He doesn't need a badge." Iron Man pulled the man away, then gently pushed him towards the elevator. "You're not head of security yet. Just do what Mr. Stark asked and don't bother Pepper too much."

"Compared to you, boss, I've got nothing," Happy replied.

That earned a laugh out of Iron Man. "Touché."

"You haven't been the same since these guys moved in," Happy said, his eyes narrowing at Steve again. "Just remember, boss. If these superhero friends do anything to you-"

"I know who to call," Iron Man reassured, and Steve could hear a faintly embarrassed tone to Iron Man's words. "Later, Happy!"

Happy gave Steve one last glare and motioned 'I'm watching you' before the elevator doors closed.

"What was that about?" Steve asked, chuckling softly.

"Sorry about that," Iron Man said. "Happy means well. He's just enthusiastic."

"No, I mean about not raising the alarm. Is Tony in danger?" He was honestly a little charmed by how protective Happy had been of Iron Man. He was glad the man was Iron Man's friend. The implications of what they'd been talking about before were a little worrying though.

"Oh, uh... It's just a personal favor," Iron Man said. "Nothing serious, Cap. Just looking for some peace of mind."

"Personal?"

Iron Man faced the elevator and Steve got the impression he was avoiding Steve's eyes. "Family matter. Mr. Stark cleared it."

Okay. Steve refused to think of what sort of 'family' matter Iron Man didn't want to talk about. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked, mentally preparing himself for the answer.

"Sorry, Cap. Secret identity and stuff," Iron Man replied.

Steve pushed down his disappointment. Except he hadn't hidden it very well, because Iron Man was babbling on. "You're already protecting them as an Avenger, Steve. I knew Happy before all of this, so he already knows who I am, or I'd be asking the Avengers for help. Just with Rhodey specifically targeted, Mr. Stark thought it might be a good precaution."

Steve forced a smile, knowing he was only making Iron Man feel worse and hating himself for it. "Don't worry about me, Shellhead. He's right. It's a good precaution until we find out who's behind this and why they're doing it."

"Uh, right," Iron Man said. Now he was staring at Steve, the armor still. "Steve, I..."

"I respect your choice, Shellhead. Doesn't mean it's not hard sometimes, but that's not your fault," Steve said, both to reassure Iron Man and remind himself. "I did want to talk to you about the other day."

"The other... Oh. About that. Sorry. I know I shouldn't just take off like that. It was-"

"No, I wanted to apologize," Steve said, shaking his head.

"You what?"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You told me you answer to him first and in that situation he was in a better position than me to make calls," Steve said with a sigh. "That doesn't mean I agree with what you did, but I can understand. Just... What happens when it's the Avengers or Stark in a higher stakes mission? I can't just have parts of my team running off."

"I don't know if I have an answer for you," Iron Man admitted. "I... I'll be here if you need me, but Mr. Stark needs me too. He..." Iron Man looked down, the ground apparently worth analyzing.

"He's important to you," Steve said.

"He wouldn't force me to choose," Iron Man replied.

Steve knew it wouldn't be Tony who forced Iron Man to choose. There were circumstances outside of anyone's control that would change things. Steve only hoped their friendship would remain intact after it. He moved closer to Iron Man, placing his hands on the warm metal shoulders. "It's okay," Steve said. For now.

"I... Steve, I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"

"It's okay," Steve repeated, pulling Iron Man into a proper hug.

"It's not," Iron Man said miserably. But his arms tightened around Steve's back. This close, Steve felt a pang of what he could have had.

 _No,_ he told himself firmly. He pulled away enough to keep the hug friendly, one arm behind Iron Man's back as he led them to the couch. "It'll work out, Shellhead. Speaking of work, considering we haven't seen you around recently - what have you been up to?"

"I..." Iron Man said, trailing off. "Trying to track those robots, mostly. I should be getting back to-"

"You should watch a movie with me and take a break," Steve interrupted.

"Steve..."

"I've missed my friend a lot lately," Steve said, smiling through it despite how much the word 'friend' cut him. "Maybe you know him? He's a real wise cracker who walks around in a tin can all day and always knows the right thing to say to make me feel at home."

"Nope. Never heard of him," Iron Man said, but he sat down with Steve on the couch. "Sounds like a great guy though."

"He is," Steve said, punching Iron Man's shoulder lightly. "Now, what are you catching me up on today?"

"Has anyone shown you _Willow_ yet?"

Steve thought back to what he's seen in this century, but it didn't ring a bell. "Don't think so."

" _Willow_ it is then. JARVIS, queue her up!"

The movie was fun, and Steve was charmed by how far Willow was willing to go for the baby. It wasn't twenty minutes into the movie before he felt hard metal against his shoulder. He looked over to see Iron Man's head against his shoulder. The normally blue lights where his eyes would be were flicked off.

Steve focused on how ridiculous it was that Tony Stark made an armor whose lights went off when the wearer fell asleep, because thinking of how good it felt to have Iron Man against his shoulder hurt too much. His breath caught anyway, and he fought back the wave of _longing_ and the need to have this for the rest of his life.

Because it was something he couldn't have, no matter how much he needed it.

"Friends," he reminded himself quietly, closing his eyes for a moment to keep the pain at bay. "Goodnight, Shellhead," he said, his voice only breaking on the last word. "I'm glad we're friends."

He just couldn't stop wishing they were more.


	3. Chapter Three

Steve looked up from his work out, surprised to see Bruce standing off to the side and fiddling with a tablet as he pushed his glasses up. "What brings you down here, Doc?" he asked, reaching for the towel to wipe some of the sweat from his face. The soft material felt fantastic against his heated skin, and he found he didn't miss his old, cheap towels. It was one of the few luxuries he really indulged in while living at the Tower.

"I didn't want to interrupt," Bruce said, tapping nervously at the back of the tablet.

"Is something wrong?" Steve asked, grabbing a water as he walked over and sat on the bench next to him.

"I'm... not sure," Bruce said, not quite meeting Steve's eyes. "You're getting to know Stark, right?"

"Trying," Steve said. With everything that's been going on recently, he hadn't seen much of Tony, though he'd managed to catch him between meetings a few times for a quick hello.

"Hm," Bruce said, fiddling with the tablet again and looking down at it.

"Is he giving you problems?"

"Yes and no," Bruce said, absently passing Steve a protein bar, which Steve accepted with good nature. "He's... Do you think he's the type to just give up on something if he wasn't interested anymore?"

Steve paused in unwrapping the bar, frowning as he went over his interactions with Tony in his head. "I think the media likes to paint him like that, but from what I've seen of him, no. He seems more like the type that needs to be pulled away from something that doesn't work. You were the one who said he was driven."

"That's what I thought too." Bruce bit his lip, then shook his head. "He hasn't exactly _stopped_ , but it's like he's working on something else now? And yesterday he gave us numbers that were completely wrong, like he's been trying to set us back. He's been acting differently too."

Worry started to gnaw at Steve as he bit off part of the protein bar. "Different how?"

"Colder," Bruce said. "He was a little abrasive before, but Jane and I were... I was at least enjoying the challenge? Once you're used to him, Stark is brilliant, and we worked well together. But now he's just blankly polite. Like the Tony Stark we were getting to know got hidden away."

Bruce tapped at his tablet again, then turned it around to show Steve. "Then there's this."

'Call blocked' read the blocky letters on the tablet, Latveria in smaller letters to denote the call's destination. "I thought Doom was working with us?" Steve asked.

"He was," Bruce said. "Up to three days ago when we started getting this message."

"Is that when Tony started acting strangely?" Steve asked. Bruce nodded. Guilt flared up; Steve had been the one to suggest contacting Doom. "I don't like the sound of this."

"Jane and I think Doom might have done something," Bruce agreed. "I'll take this to Natasha to see what she can find with her connections, but could you..."

"Could I?" Steve prompted when Bruce trailed off. He didn't know how much help he could be off the field.

"Maybe check on him?" Bruce asked hesitantly. "We're worried, and I'm kind of missing the guy I was getting to know. He might talk to you."

"I can try," Steve said, putting a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "If Doom is blackmailing Tony or something else, we'll find out."

Bruce smiled up at him shyly, then nodded, excusing himself to talk to Natasha.

Steve took a shower first and chided himself for staring at his closet for too long, picking out one of his normal shirts rather than the nicer one he'd been gravitating towards. His crush was getting a little ridiculous. "JARVIS, is Tony in the building?"

"Mr. Stark is currently in the penthouse," JARVIS replied.

Inwardly, Steve sighed in relief. He counted that as a step up, that JARVIS no longer stalled Steve from meeting with his creator. "Can you let him know I'm coming up to speak with him?"

"Of course, Captain," JARVIS said as Steve made his way to the elevator. When the doors opened to the penthouse, Steve looked around curiously. The living room seemed very stylish and modern, and he walked in feeling out of place. There were glass doors leading to a balcony that Steve felt drawn to, and after seeing no one around he walked forward to take a peek. The view took his breath away. New York in all of her beauty lay out before him even as he started to mentally compare it to the landscape from his time. It was a melancholy feeling, seeing the changes to his city laid painfully bare before him. Steve almost took a step forward to the doors, then closed his eyes.

He stood there breathing in and out as he couldn't help thinking about how much had _changed_. It hadn't hit him this hard in a long time, but he couldn't just push it aside. Not this time.

"-can't do this," he heard Ms. Potts say, her voice moving closer. "I'm not trained for this sort of thing, Tony. It's insane!"

"We'll get you trained," Tony said soothingly. "I promise, Pep. You're the only one I can ask. You can do this, buttercup."

Steve swallowed, stepping away from the glass and forcing back the emotions with an iron fist as he scrambled to regain control. He couldn't be seen like this.

"No, I can't," Ms. Potts said, her voice rising. "Do you know what you're asking me to do, Tony? I've seen you come back from that! I could be ki - Captain!"

Steve opened his eyes, seeing Ms. Potts with her hands in front of her mouth. "Are you alright?" she asked, whatever anger she had melting as she rushed forward.

"I'm fine, ma'am," he said, giving his best stage smile. Tony took one look at him and Steve had the sinking feeling that he wasn't fooled.

Thankfully, he didn't mention it. "JARVIS, why didn't you warn me we had a guest?"

"I tried, sir, but you said to just send them up or send them away as I recall."

"Okay, that one's on me, I'll admit," Tony said, stepping forward and putting a hand on Steve's back to lead him in. The point of contact grounded Steve in the present, and Tony rubbed gently between his shoulder blades to loosen the tension he could no doubt feel. It was the same thing Iron Man did when he caught Steve at a bad moment, but it felt surprisingly better with a human hand. "Come on in and sit down. What can I do for you, Steve?"

"I don't want to interrupt," Steve said, looking between him and Ms. Potts. He didn't know how well his questions would go over with Ms. Potts here as well. It might put her in danger if she was also in the dark.

"It's fine," she said, moving to the back room where they had come from. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay, thank you," Steve said. Then he turned to Tony. "I can come back later-"

"Honestly, giving her some time to think on it is the best thing right now," Tony said with a shrug. Then lower, "You okay?"

Steve didn't want to talk about it, so he ignored the slight hurt in Tony's eyes when he kept up his stage smile and deflected. "Any news on Colonel Rhodes yet?"

Tony's eyes dropped to the carpet, which was admittedly a tasteful-looking one, but generally not worth a genius's attention. "Still comatose," Tony said flatly. "No change."

"His wounds are healing," Ms. Potts said, carrying a tray with two mugs and a cup of juice. She held out one mug to Steve. "I asked JARVIS how you liked your coffee."

"Thanks," Steve said awkwardly, accepting the cup. Tony made for the other mug, but she slapped his hand away and gave him the cup of juice. Tony glared at her, but sipped his juice in sullen silence as Ms. Potts claimed her mug.

Sitting down across from them, Ms. Potts set the mug down and folded her hands in her lap. "Roberta is insisting you come for dinner, by the way."

"I..." Steve replied, uncertain how to respond. Meeting the mother of Tony's best friend would be strange.

"She thinks embarrassing Rhodey about his childhood hero-worship will get him to wake up. Either that or his jealousy for her meeting you first," Tony said, smiling into his cup.

"Can't argue with that," Steve said. How awkward could it be? Extremely, no doubt, but as long as he had Ms. Potts and Tony there too, it shouldn't be too bad, right? It was just an old lady. He could handle an old lady.

"Whatever you're thinking right now, you will regret," Tony told him gleefully. "Though, I don't know. Pep, who do you think would win arguing about the constitution, Captain America or Roberta?"

"I'm betting on her," Ms. Potts said with an apologetic wave to Steve. "And so are you. Stop making Captain Rogers nervous."

"Steve," he said, figuring it was about time to drop the formalities.

"Only if you call me Pepper," she replied with a grin.

Steve smiled at her, almost forgetting the scenery behind him as he took a sip of the coffee she'd given him. It was just how he liked it, and it warmed up his hands. He was pathetically grateful for that.

"But that wasn't what brought you up here, was it?" Tony asked.

"No, I-"

The alarm on his phone blared. Steve jumped to his feet, his hands itching for the shield that was too many floors below him.

"What is it?" Pepper asked.

"Go," Tony said, standing as well, his phone in his hand as he scrolled through the alarm data. "I'll send Iron Man to your location."

"What's the threat?" Steve asked, not bothering to check his phone as he rushed to the elevator.

"Robots." Steve only just saw the anger and fear raging across Tony's face as he said it, the elevator door closing him in.

* * *

The fight was long and hard, but there were no casualties. On one hand, it relieved Steve to no end that whoever it was may not care if people got hurt, but at least they weren't aiming for the civilian population. Hitting the botanical gardens on a day it was closed meant it was easy to evacuate. Though what robots wanted in a botanical garden was worrying him. It sounded more and more like the robots were drawing the Avengers out, and Steve didn't like the implications of that. It could also be a distraction, and Steve liked that even less.

Still, Iron Man stayed for clean up this time, which eased the exhaustion settling over them all. Someone, probably Tony, had thought to bring food for all the volunteers, which Steve's metabolism appreciated. He grabbed a hot dog and started to walk towards one of the trees for a bit of shade before he got back to work.

One of the caterers got in his way, however. She was a small woman, but she had her hands on her hips and glared up at him in a way that was more than a little intimidating. "Ma'am?"

"You can't go that way," she said. "Uh, sir."

Steve hid his surprise and looked at the tree he'd picked out. "Is the area unstable?" he asked. He should have been informed of that. And if that were the case, they needed to put up markings to warn people.

"That's where Iron Man is," she replied, planting her feet more firmly. "He's eating."

Steve frowned, opening his mouth to ask why that was important when it hit him. Iron Man would have to take the helmet off to eat! "Oh," he said intelligently.

"Though I guess you might already know who he... Anyway, I see him at a lot of these things and he never asks or anything, usually just takes off to the nearest bush. He always compliments the staff though. He's a real down-to-earth guy."

"And you stop people from following," Steve said, smiling warmly at her.

The woman ran a hand through her short hair. "He saved my brother," she said. "And you guys save the world and the city enough times. It's the least I could do."

"Thank you," Steve said, glad for her consideration.

The woman blushed, standing back. "Just looking out for him. Ya know, since his boss is so crappy."

"His boss?" She couldn't mean-

"Tony Stark," she spat, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away. "Double-dealing bastard. I bet all of this is just a way to get back into people's good graces so they'll look the other way when he starts up again. You never see _him_ out here working like you guys do. This is just for his ego."

Taken aback, Steve's eyes widened. Then anger took over. "He doesn't make weapons anymore," he said. Tony had a panic attack over the robots having some of his circuitry. He'd been genuinely upset people were getting hurt because of that, not just Rhodes.

"So he says." She shrugged and waved him off. "I have work to do. Don't bother Iron Man."

She walked off muttering about the top one percent and Steve was about to follow and correct her when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Clint," he growled. "Did you hear what she-"

"Lotta people think that, Cap," Clint said with a shrug. He looked a little rough around the edges from when he'd been thrown into a rose bush, but his arms had been patched up. "He doesn't help himself very much. But as much as we would all agree with you, the last thing we need is a row with the catering staff."

Steve balled his fists, but didn't go after her. Clint smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder before picking up his own hot dog. "Are you going to go after him?"

"I..." Steve looked back at the tree, wondering how far beyond it Iron Man was. "It seems like it'd be lonely, eating by himself like that all the time."

"Then you should join him, Captain," Thor said, also taking a hot dog and grinning widely. "There is no need to see each other while you eat. I'm sure he would welcome the company."

"Alright," Steve said, some of the anger subsiding. He could at least do that much. "Thanks. I'll see you guys later."

Steve pulled out his phone and typed a simple message to warn Iron Man he was coming, then started walking through the trees. Was that how everyone saw Tony Stark? It was how he'd seen the man before he'd really talked to him, and it made him a little sick to remember. He wondered how many other celebrities got this sort of treatment. There'd always been the yellow press and gossip columns on socialites like Howard or movie stars, but with the spread of technology everything seemed worse.

He started to realize he had no idea where Iron Man was hiding. He looked around, the garden thankfully not too torn up by their fight. "Iron Man?" he called out softly.

"Over here, Winghead."

Steve turned to see Iron Man waving from a few secluded bushes. He had half a hot dog in his hand. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just... thought you might want some company," Steve said, making his way over.

Iron Man waved him off. He was almost pressed against the bushes, cutting off as much of the view of himself as he could. "Necessary if I want to eat at all. I don't mind. I've got the suit on alert in case anyone gets close."

"That's not true," Steve said. "It's not necessary to isolate yourself just for that."

"Steve, you know I can't - what are you doing?"

Steve was, in fact, sitting next to Iron Man, making sure they were back to back. The bushes pricked at his side, but he ignored it and took a bite of his hot dog.

"What are you doing?" Iron Man repeated, his bafflement growing when Steve didn't answer.

"Eating with a friend," Steve said. "I can't see you like this. You don't have to talk while you're eating and I promise not to look. Is that okay?"

It was a long moment of silence as Steve waited for an answer. His palms were getting sweaty, but he had a plate in one hand and a hot dog in the other so he couldn't exactly wipe them off.

"Okay," Iron Man said finally, his voice softer than Steve had ever heard it. "I trust you."

Steve heard a faint mechanical noise. He nearly turned to see what had happened when he froze, realizing the sound must have been the helmet coming up.

Iron Man's face was exposed!

Steve stomped down on the curiosity that ate away at him, reminding himself firmly that he had made a promise. He had Iron Man's trust. It was that more than anything that had him ignoring his need to know more and forcing himself to eat rather than let his mouth run to ask questions. Iron Man's trust was too valuable to waste.

The warm metal of the armor dug into Steve's back and the bushes pricked at him. The hot dog had a fifty/fifty chance of being decent or not, but he barely tasted it. Maybe Iron Man didn't love him, but Steve could have this. He closed his eyes, telling the part of him that was screaming that it wasn't enough to shut up.

This _was_ enough. He had Iron Man's trust, which meant as much as his love, friendly or otherwise. So Steve ate his hot dogs and leaned against the solid and steady back of Iron Man's shoulders. When he heard the mechanical sound again, he summoned up the best smile he could. "Finished already, Shellhead?"

"Yup," Iron Man replied. "You can look now."

Steve stood up and stretched, offering a hand to Iron Man. Iron Man laughed and took it, but even the armor's weight was no match for the serum's strength.

But Iron Man didn't let go of Steve's hand when he got up. He squeezed it gently, looking down at their joined hands. "Thanks," Iron Man said, and there was a rough quality to the word that not even the computer modulator could hide. He finally let go and Steve wished he hadn't. "I guess it does get a bit lonely sometimes."

"Any time," Steve said, pushing the memory of Iron Man's hand in his out of his mind. Iron Man didn't have to know his heart was still broken. "Come on. Let's get back to work."

* * *

It was a while before he got the chance to check in on Tony again. The worry grew, but Tony was out on conferences and half-way across the country before Steve could seek him out. It was frustrating, and Bruce and Jane were almost worrying more than Steve, but it wasn't like they could ask Tony to quit his job, not when they didn't know how big the threat level was.

Steve was, at least, able to take out some of that frustration in the gym. Which was how Natasha and Clint found him, lifting weights Tony had specifically designed to give super-soldiers and resident aliens a work out. Clint looked at the weight counter and whistled, but didn't comment.

"You guys looking for me?" Steve asked as he put the weight back on the bar. His arms burned at the motion, making Steve wonder if he'd lost track of time again.

"Stark's still not talking," Clint said, resetting the weight values on the machine as Steve grabbed a towel.

"Pepper is also acting strangely," Natasha said, her arms crossed over her chest. "And she's not as skilled at acting, but she's good at hiding when she wants to. Something is wrong, and they're both covering it up."

Steve looked up from his towel, feeling useless. Everything was tearing him apart, but there was nothing he could do about it. "What do you think we should do?" he asked. They were obviously here for a reason.

He made room for Natasha to sit on the bench and Clint leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest. "Whatever's going on, Doom is our only lead," Clint said. "Which sucks, by the way."

"The last thing we need is to split up," Steve said, but even he could see it was a useless protest. "Those robots are drawing us out. It's a distraction."

Natasha took his hand and squeezed it, and Steve looked down. "But we'll only be walking into the trap if we don't do anything. If we go to Latveria, we might be able to find out."

"Both of you?" Steve asked hopelessly.

Natasha nodded. "Latveria's defenses aren't anything to sneeze at. Not something either of us can do without backup."

"Damn," Steve said, sighing as his shoulders slumped.

"You said it," Clint agreed.

"Do you think Iron Man-" Steve started, then stopped. He swallowed hard, forcing down the bile that nearly overwhelmed him.

"We can't talk to Iron Man about this," Natasha said gently. "You can't either."

Steve closed his eyes, thinking back to that moment in the garden. That was a show of _trust_. Iron Man trusted him enough to be vulnerable. And here he was betraying that trust not even a few days later.

He felt Natasha's hand on his back rubbing small circles as he leaned over on his knees and kept his head down.

"Iron Man's first loyalty is to Stark," Clint said, his voice dull. "If Pepper's also in on it, chances are that his hands are already tied. Letting him know could put him in conflict with us."

Steve nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He hated this. Things were supposed to be better in this century. The War was supposed to have ended, taking its hard choices and compromises with it. Not like this. And it was his fault to begin with, having suggested Doom. He should have kept an eye on the deal or sent one of the others with Iron Man to make sure it was alright.

"Steve, if Iron Man is compromised, he'll want us to find the source," Natasha said. "You know he wants the one behind those robots as much as Stark does. It's personal for both of them. Whatever it is that Doom has on them, the sooner we find it, the better."

"Yeah," Steve said, breathing out. "Just... he trusts me."

"And hopefully he'll understand," Clint said. "If not..."

He didn't have to say the rest. Steve shook himself and opened his eyes, steeling his nerve for the words he had to say. "Go. Be careful. And find out what's going on."

Clint clapped him on the shoulder and Natasha squeezed his hand again, giving Steve enough will to muster up a smile for them. This was something that would sit heavily on his shoulders, but it had to be done.

"Talk to Stark," Natasha said as she stood. "You still might be able to get him to open up."

"If I can find him," Steve said, standing as well. He went to his bag to fish out the tape and started to wrap his knuckles. "Stay in contact. I'll let you know if there's anything on my end."

Natasha nodded and Clint threw him a sloppy salute before they both left Steve to the gym equipment. He'd always known Iron Man's loyalties would cause a problem. He just hadn't thought the betrayal would come from his end.

* * *

Natasha and Clint left for Latveria three days before Tony came back. Steve sparred with Thor and played chess with Bruce to pass time, looking over the endless streams of data about Tachyon particles in between. He wasn't an expert on them yet, but he could give the average SHIELD agent a run for their money on making sense of the data, and Bruce explained a few of the more incomprehensible theories.

He was startled out of moodily staring at the data by JARVIS. "Captain Rogers, you wished to be notified when Mr. Stark returned to the Tower."

"Thank you, JARVIS," Steve said, putting down the files as he rolled his shoulders. "Would he be available to speak with me now?"

JARVIS was silent for a few moments, presumably telling Tony. Then he replied, "Mr. Stark is waiting for you in the penthouse."

"Alright. I'll be up in a few minutes," Steve said, stacking the folders carefully on his desk. He headed to the elevator, then thought better of it, walking to the kitchen instead. "JARVIS, how does Tony take his coffee?" he asked, figuring if Pepper could inquire, he probably had access to the information too.

"The Kona coffee blend with milk, but no sugar," JARVIS replied. "Mr. Stark prefers the coffee made in the Avengers' common kitchen, though there is no discernible difference between the coffee maker in here and his workshop."

Steve paused at that, then got out the blend JARVIS spoke of. That explained why Tony and Colonel Rhodes had come down here that night of their argument. It was a weird quirk, but he supposed billionaires were entitled to be a little eccentric.

While the coffee was brewing, Steve pulled out a few of the muffins Bruce had bought the other day and put them on a tray. Tony had responded well to food last time, and it had thrown off some of his defensive habits. When JARVIS recommended he take the apple butter instead of the strawberry jam, he thought he might be on the right track.

He heated up the muffins and made coffee for himself, electing to try the Kona as well. Once that was set, he took the elevator to the penthouse.

"Hello?" he called out as he stepped out of the elevator. He didn't look at the balcony this time, figuring it was better to avoid that again. It was still his city, no matter how she changed, and she'd come a long way since he'd been in the ice. He just wasn't quite ready for the all encompassing view again though.

Setting the tray on the table, he looked around. "Tony?" he called out when there was still no answer.

"Over here."

Steve looked over to see a hand raised over the edge of the couch. It waved at him, then disappeared. "You've got a nice view here," Steve said as walked over, even though he didn't look at it. "Do you think I could come up to draw it one - Tony, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Tony said, lying spread out on the couch, still in a business suit but with the tie loosened and the top buttons of his shirt undone. His face looked pale, and there were dark shadows under his eyes that spoke of little to no sleep. He was on his tablet, not looking at Steve. "Come up anytime you like for drawing," Tony said, but his voice was strained. "Mi casa and all that."

There was a barely noticeable tremble to his fingers as they glided across the screen and a indefinable note to his tone that alarmed Steve. Had something happened? "You're not fine," Steve said as Tony sat up.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Tony said, still not looking up from his tablet. And if he called Steve a bad liar, Tony himself wasn't much better. "You're seeing things, Cap."

"There's obviously something wrong," Steve bit out, unable to keep his temper in check. He should back off. He knew that, but he couldn't help pressing forward.

"That would be because an obsolete soldier is interrupting my work," Tony snapped. "Go nap for another seventy years if you're going to do nothing but fuss."

Steve's cheeks burned as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, and he could taste the iron on his tongue. Tony's words struck fast and deep, aiming for all of Steve's weak points. He hated the fact that Tony apparently knew them and was willing to exploit them fully.

"In fact-" Tony continued.

" _Stop_ ," Steve commanded, fury balling his fists as he stared down at the infuriating man.

Tony's mouth pressed into a thin line and he stood up, not once even glancing at Steve as he tossed the tablet down. "You know what? This was a mistake. Stay up here if you like, but I'm-"

He grabbed Tony's wrists, stopping him from moving, but Tony still didn't look up. "Stark," he said warningly, watching Tony's shoulders hunch at the name.

Sighing, Steve kept a tight hold on his fury as he counted in his head. His hand tightened around Tony's wrists, tight enough to bruise before he realized and automatically loosened his grip. The shame at that more than anything calmed him down. Tony didn't even wince at what no doubt had to be painful. "Tony," Steve said, his voice more raw than he liked, but he pushed on anyway. "What's going on? Is it Doom?"

"It's nothing," Tony insisted.

"Tony, look at me," Steve ordered.

At first, Steve didn't think he would. Then he visibly braced himself and looked up at Steve.

Brown eyes widened fractionally as they met Steve's, lost and broken in ways that terrified him. There was an open pain to them that Tony had been hiding, raw and empty in a way that spoke of grief and loss.

"Colonel Rhodes..." Steve said, taken aback and fearing the worst.

"No change," Tony said, lowering his eyes again.

Steve breathed out in relief. At least it wasn't that. He hesitated, torn between his anger at Tony's words and worry that Tony had been purposefully pushing him away. He could feel the small tremors in Tony's body, and Steve acted without thinking. He pulled Tony closer into a tight hug.

For a moment, Steve thought he was going to pull away. Then Tony crumpled against him. Steve could feel the small, shallow breaths against his neck as Tony's fingers curled into his shirt. Steve was torn between anger and sympathy, the latter only winning out with whispered half-apologies against his chest as Tony trembled and gasped. Steve held him tighter, helplessness replacing the anger.

"Tony..." Steve said, unable to articulate anything more.

They stayed like that long enough for Steve to lose track of time and for Tony to stop trembling. It was nice in ways Steve was going to have to think about later, because he never asked for his love life to be made into such a mess when he was perfectly fine waiting. But that could wait for another time.

"Sorry," Tony said eventually. "That was... I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have," Steve replied, feeling Tony wince. He kept Tony from pulling away, but made sure his strength was in check so that Tony still had the option if he really wanted to. It was harder than he'd like to admit, since part of him just wanted to shake the idiot.

Steve wondered how long the apologies were going to work. There was obviously something wrong, but that didn't excuse Tony lashing out.

"I hate it when you push," Tony muttered, almost too low for Steve to hear.

...and there was that too. Tony _had_ warned him off. He probably should have tried again later, or at least waited until Tony was comfortable talking. He sighed, figuring Tony's apologies would probably work so long as Steve himself owed them. Considering his own human nature, that might be unlikely. "Sorry," he said contritely, hugging Tony a little tighter. Neither of them were very good at this, it seemed.

Steve's shoulders slumped. This was far more exhausting than it should be. He hadn't even been to the gym yet today, and he felt like he hadn't slept in years. They had to find a way to stop this cycle they got into before one of them snapped and this became something they both regretted. Running this through his head so much would only run him to the ground.

"You're going to have to talk to me," Steve said after careful consideration of his words. He promised himself he'd back off this time though if Tony said. "Is it Doom? What does he have over you?"

Tony stiffened, and this time Steve let him pull away. He didn't meet Steve's eyes. "What makes you think Doom has anything to do with this?"

"Maybe the fact you've pulled back at the same time he became unreachable," Steve said dryly. "Tony, I know you want to catch whoever is behind this. Let us help you."

"You sure I'm not double-dealing to him?" Tony said, returning to his crueler tone. "That's what everyone else would say."

"Positive," Steve said with enough force to shock Tony into looking up. He sighed, hating that Tony had been made to feel like that. Steve had been bullied enough when he was younger to know exactly where those thoughts came from. "No one thinks that, Tony."

"Funny," Tony said, though his voice lacked any humor. It had lost the cruelty at least, which meant he was off the defensive. "That's all they say about me in the news. You'd be surprised how many people believe it."

"Those people don't know _you_. You shouldn't let them get to you," Steve said.

"Of course not," Tony snapped, his fists curling tightly at his sides. It spoke of a much different answer. Bucky had always said Steve had a chip on his shoulder, and now he was starting to understand his best friend's constant frustration. "No one else is bothered by the lies though. Why do you care?"

It was that question again. Steve grit his teeth. "No one on the team thought that. Bruce came to me because both he and Jane were worried. Do you trust us that little?"

"I..."

Steve shook his head, though it didn't clear it as he'd hoped. "Tell me what's going on," he pleaded, hoping to break through Tony's stubbornness.

"I _can't_ ," Tony said. Brown eyes spoke of agony and confliction and Steve felt himself growing angry again, but this time at Doom. "Steve, I can't. I've _tried_ before, and I can't... It doesn't work."

He forced himself to think through Tony's words, parsing what Tony wasn't telling him. Something wasn't adding up. Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do if Tony wouldn't tell him. "Then trust us to figure it out ourselves," Steve said finally, putting his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Whatever it is you're scared of, we'll stop it."

Tony closed his eyes, the fight draining out of him. "Okay," he said, swaying a little as he rested his forehead against Steve's shoulder for a moment, before denying himself the contact. "You win. Do whatever you want."

"Tony..." Steve couldn't help the small shake he gave Tony. He still refused to look up.

"Why do you keep trying?" Tony asked. "Steve, this will never be easy."

"Never said I wanted easy," Steve replied.

"Then what do you want?"

"A friend."

Tony finally opened his eyes, staring at Steve in bewilderment. "There's plenty of other people downstairs, Steve. Why me?"

Steve could have sworn textbook narcissism was in Tony's file, but this was a complete disconnect. "Do you ask Pepper or Colonel Rhodes that question?" Steve asked.

The silence that followed was enough of a reply. "Tony," Steve said again, knowing there was very little he could say that would be believed. He glanced over at the muffins and coffee. They would be cooling, but it was easy enough to heat up again and it might be the distraction they needed to break this mood.

"Come on," he said, taking Tony's arm and leading him to the tray. "You have a kitchen in here?"

"Just back there," Tony said, gesturing to the left, but his eyes remained on the food. "This is..."

"Coffee from the machine downstairs. JARVIS said you liked it better. And Bruce bought some muffins from down the street. I thought you might like one." Steve picked up the tray, keeping one hand on Tony's arm and starting to herd Tony to the kitchen.

Tony had the same expression from the last time Steve had brought him food. It was a mixture of touched and baffled, and Steve realized he probably should have begun with the snack. Food struck a chord with Tony that Steve didn't quite understand but was definitely willing to use as an ice breaker.

He didn't wait for permission to put the coffee in the microwave. It was thankfully very similar to the one in the common room, so Steve had no problems with the timer. "Sorry," Steve said as the light in the microwave turned on. "I should have mentioned I brought it earlier when it was still hot."

Tony just stared at him as the microwave worked, blinking at him like an experiment that took a completely unpredictable turn and he couldn't figure out where his hypothesis had gone wrong. Steve tried not to feel self-conscious, but he still felt small as he reached for the now heated coffee, pushing his shoulders back out of habit even when they wanted to hunch over.

He started to hand the mug to Tony before remembering Pepper's list. He set it down on the counter next to him instead, then went back to heat up the muffins. The quiet went on for too long, and Steve thought about Iron Man taking his coffee, sipping it through a straw in the morning with a small catch in the face plate that opened just enough to fit. He wondered if Iron Man had asked for it, or if Tony had made it without prompting. It was a little ridiculous either way, and Steve fought back a smile at the thought. This wasn't helping with either of his crushes.

"Why is the coffee downstairs better than the one in here?" Steve asked, a little unnerved by Tony's silence.

"It's just better down there," Tony muttered. His cheeks had a faint blush that made Steve analyze what he'd just said. He really wasn't opposed to seeing Tony blush, and he wanted to know what he'd done to bring it about.

But what had... Unless Tony liked being near the Avengers? The thought was both cute and sobering, considering how much the Avengers took for granted when it came to Tony Stark. Steve resolved to see this through again. Getting through to Tony might be hard, but it was working, and Steve found that he wanted it a lot more now that he'd started to get to know him.

The microwave beeped and he pulled out the muffins, sliding one over to Tony. "So what do you like to do in your free time?" Steve asked.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Really? After that you're just gonna play twenty questions?"

Steve matched the expression, keeping his face very serious even as he fought off a smile. "Trying to start again on the right foot. Ya gotta better way to get to know a new friend?"

The baffled look entered Tony's eyes again, but it was hidden quickly. He opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated and shook his head, starting again. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," Steve said firmly.

Tony ran a hand through his hair, then pulled off a piece of the muffin. "I like working on cars," he replied finally. "It's not complicated and it keeps my hands busy."

"Now was that hard?" Steve asked.

Tony's lips quirked into a smile. "Yes. Extremely difficult. No one ever appreciates how hard it is to talk about me."

"I wouldn't want you to think I'm going easy on you," Steve said, grinning back at him. "What's your favorite color?"

Tony laughed. A real, genuine laugh that Steve found himself drawn to. This was nice, sitting here like this. It was like he had found a place again. The kitchen was more expensive and high tech, but if Steve closed his eyes he could picture his old apartment with Bucky or Peggy sitting by him. Except now it was Tony, awkward and hurt, but still warm enough to draw Steve into his orbit like the moon that could only reflect Tony's brilliance from afar.

Steve was starting to think that he might be in trouble.

* * *

Steve wasn't in his own bed. He stilled completely upon realizing that, then relaxed as memories of last night filtered in. Then he groaned, because even the serum didn't stop his neck from pinching after a night of sleeping on the couch. It was still dark out, and Steve was debating finding a proper bed or just continuing to sleep when he realized he had a heavy weight on top of him.

They had moved from the kitchen to the couch after an hour of talking, and Steve could remember clearly falling a little bit more in love with Tony every time he smiled. He definitely remembered starting some movie that Tony insisted he needed to watch to catch up to the current century. He could vaguely remember Tony's head hitting his shoulder, and the melancholy of thinking of Iron Man doing the same. He had an impression of Tony's head somehow finding its way to his lap, though he couldn't have said how it happened. He had no idea how Tony managed to be lying on top of him using Steve like one of those full-body pillows Natasha liked. He did know that it wasn't helping his morning wood, feeling Tony's light snores against his skin. He ignored it though, and the way his body protested staying in that position for too long.

He carefully traced Tony's goatee up his cheek, the intimacy of their position making his stomach drop. In trouble he might be, but ready for something like this? Steve remembered all too well the sting of Iron Man's rejection. And if Iron Man were out of his league, Tony Stark was about as touchable as the stars in the sky.

Then there was also the fact that Tony had issues. Steve had only brushed the surface of them. Their talk last night had been fun, but light. Howard hadn't come up and Steve had taken pains to keep it that way, but that was baggage they would eventually have to deal with, regardless of if they were friends or more.

Steve sighed. His morning wood had at least died with those thoughts. He should probably find some way to move before Tony woke up, but he couldn't bring himself to. His arm was wrapped around Tony's waist and letting go of this rare moment of human contact was beyond him.

In the end, Steve fell back asleep, curling tightly around Tony instinctively to keep the comfort for just a while longer.

He woke up to muttering, hearing words like 'octopus' and 'cuddle monster' along with several words his mother disapproved of. The latter became more constant as he gripped at the warmth that was trying to move away.

Then there was a hand running through his hair and that was nice. The warmth slipped away while he was distracted though, and Steve might have whined.

"Go back to sleep, Cuddle-zilla." The blanket being draped over him wasn't as nice, but Steve was willing to let it go in favor of more sleep. He drifted, nearly nodding off again when a loud crash sent him to his feet, blanket dropping to the floor.

His heart rate spiked as he looked around for the threat and saw nothing. Tony's voice came from the kitchen, too low for Steve to hear over the pounding in his ears. He wasted no time, jumping over the couch and racing there. "What's wrong? Are you-"

There he saw Tony leaning over to pick up a pan from the floor. He looked up sheepishly. "Sorry," Tony said with a wince. "Didn't mean to wake you."

Closing his eyes, Steve let out a breath as he tried to calm his beating heart. He pushed his palm into his eye, then laughed as he rubbed. "Hell of a way to wake up," Steve said, slumping onto a stool.

"Omelet?" Tony asked.

"Sure," Steve said, adrenaline slowly waning off and leaving general grumpiness in its wake. Steve was, contrary to popular belief, not actually a morning person. The military got him in the habit of mornings and he was disciplined enough to keep up with his morning run, but when he had an excuse he was more than willing to stay in bed so long as the nightmares were kept at bay.

He glared at Tony's raised eyebrow, grumbled as Tony poked him in the shoulder, and slumped over the counter as his heart rate slowed to a more respectable pace and was replaced with the feeling of wanting to go back to bed.

"Huh," Tony said, pushing over a cup of coffee that had probably been his. Steve didn't care, clutching at it possessively despite the fact caffeine did nothing for him. "I wasn't expecting that."

Steve grunted, knowing it was mostly the lack of food; he was always a little grumpy when he was hungry. He was glad they weren't going to discuss how they'd both woken up.

Tony was humming softly as he cooked the omelets. The coffee helped assuage Steve's distaste for mornings even if it did nothing for his hunger, if just for the fact that it was warm and he could feel it through his fingers and down his throat. He had almost finished it when a plate slid across the table to stop in front of him.

It was an omelet, cooked with onions and cheese just the way he liked it. He'd had breakfast with the Avengers often enough that they all knew, but he was surprised Tony did. It made Steve wonder just how much of the Avengers' lives Tony knew about. Did Iron Man talk to him about everyone, or had Tony had asked about them?

Steve couldn't help but wonder if Iron Man had talked specifically about him. He ducked his head, because of course not. Iron Man didn't feel the same. Steve wouldn't exactly be opposed if Tony had been asking about him though. The food was nice, and it woke him up the rest of the way.

"Thanks, by the way," Tony said, startling Steve out of his thoughts.

"What for?" Steve asked.

"For last night." Tony was eating his own omelet that was greener than Steve would have pegged him for. He also wasn't looking up from it. "For... never mind. Just thanks."

Steve wished Tony would tell him what was going on. The broken phrase pricked at his curiosity, but Steve pushed it aside. He would have to be patient and not push for answers like everything in him screamed to. Tony had said he'd tried to tell them in the past. He had to believe that Tony might keep trying, and he was going to have to learn to read more between the lines.

"Any time," Steve replied. "I had fun. It was-"

"Sir, there is a call from Ms. Jeannette Rhodes," JARVIS said, interrupting Steve.

Tony went still, then swallowed. "Put her through," he said, pulling out his phone and plugging the headphone into his ear. Steve watched his knuckles turn white around the frame, and he stood to move to Tony's side of the table, keeping a hand on his shoulder to ground him.

"What's up, sugar plum?" Tony said, his voice hiding the tension of his body, shaking Steve off and starting another omelet. Steve assumed it was to keep his hands busy as he listened. He cracked the egg and Steve couldn't hear the phone over the sizzling, so he moved closer.

Tony was silent for so long that Steve feared the worst even as his hands mechanically went through the motions of fixing the eggs. Then Tony's eyes widened. "He's awake?"

Steve strained to hear, barely picking up on a rich, female voice on the other end of the line saying, "He's awake. It wasn't for long, but the doctors say he's out of the woods for now."

"Tony!" Steve said as the man sank to the floor. He didn't list forward, but Steve caught him just before his knees hit and he lowered them both down gently as Tony closed his eyes. Steve could see tears at the corner of them, but he didn't mention it.

"He woke up," Tony said, his voice wet as he laughed.

Steve missed whatever Ms. Rhodes said, keeping Tony steady. He felt a smile creeping up on him as relief released his own tense shoulders.

"Yeah, well, tell that idiot to give me a call when he's up for it," Tony said, his voice back to normal even if Steve could feel Tony's shoulders shaking under his hands. "And yell at him for me. He yells at me for being reckless. Now it's his turn."

Tony nodded, even though it wasn't a video call. "Yup. I'll let her know. Thanks for calling, little bear. Talk to you soon."

"Tony?" Steve said as he ended the call.

"Rhodey woke up," Tony said again, clutching the phone against him. Then he laughed, a bright, carefree sound that made Steve want to pull him close and feel Tony's smile against his own. Steve pushed that thought away, squeezing Tony's shoulder and sharing his friend's happiness. Because friends was all they were.

"That's great, Tony," he said when he was sure his voice was free of longing. "I'm glad."

"He's going to be okay," Tony said, as if repeating it to reassure himself. "He's - shit!" He tried to scramble to his feet, but his legs were still wobbly.

"Steady," Steve said, smelling the problem. "I'll get it."

Making sure that Tony was staying put, he grabbed the eggs off the burner and checked to see if they were salvageable. They weren't, and Steve felt a moment's pang for the waste. Then Tony started laughing, and Steve felt his own smile start to hurt with how wide it was as he turned off the stove.

"He woke up," Tony repeated.

"He did," Steve said, pushing the pan aside and holding out a hand to Tony. "And I think that calls for some kind of celebration, right?"

Tony looked at Steve's hand, then gingerly accepted the pull up. "Celebration?"

"Let's go downstairs," Steve said. "I know there's ice cream, and Thor's always up for a game of any sort. Bruce should be around too."

"With the others?" Tony asked, pulling away.

Steve realized that was a wire he tripped too late. "Bruce said he liked working with you," Steve said carefully. "And Thor's a swell guy. We can stay up here if you'd rather, but I know they'd like to see you as well."

Steve waited for Tony to make up his mind. This was what Tony and Colonel Rhodes had been arguing about when Steve overheard them, and he could see that weighing heavily on Tony. Steve stopped himself from commenting just in time, because the last thing he needed was to out himself as an eavesdropper.

"They're worried about you," Steve said finally, hoping he wasn't pushing too far. "We all have been. Just give them a chance."

"Alright," Tony said, looking away. "But are you gonna go down like that? Because that's some impressive bed head you're sporting."

Steve's grin fell as his hand went to his hair, and he mock-glared at Tony to cover his embarrassment. "I'll text everyone to meet in the common rooms in an hour," Steve said, returning to his half-eaten breakfast. It was cool now, but Steve didn't mind.

"Works for me," Tony said, frowning at the burnt eggs as he returned his attention to his phone. He threw the eggs into the trash then made for the dishwasher. "JARVIS, call Pepper. We've got good news."

* * *

Steve had worried quite a lot about Tony coming down. He had warned both Bruce and Thor to have patience, because Tony was still working on his defensiveness. There was Tony's own reluctance to consider too.

But his worrying was for naught when Tony waltzed in like he owned the place, which he did technically. Bruce was used to Tony's antics, Thor amused by them, and Steve was starting to see the kinks in Tony's own personal armor when the day started with Mario Cart and went well. Even if Tony bemoaned Bruce being better than him at backgammon.

Somewhere along the line alcohol had become involved, even though Steve was pretty sure it was too early to be considered proper. Even Bruce had a little bit, saying he was a pretty mellow drunk. Steve watched Tony and Bruce's animated discussion and cuddling on the couch, reminding himself that his colors were red, white, and blue, not green. Except he wouldn't have minded being green when it obviously got Tony's attention and compliments.

"You certainly challenge yourself, my friend," Thor said wryly.

Steve flushed as Thor pat his back knowingly. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to someone who has seen it in you before," Thor said. "You have a mind for conquest. It is quite clear by the look in your eyes and where they linger."

Steve nearly choked on his beer, glaring at Thor. The Asgardian grinned in return and Steve sighed. "I have a problem falling for people who are out of my league," Steve said, ignoring the fleeting memory of the Commandos teasing him in a similar manner about Peggy. Surprisingly enough, the memory didn't hurt as much as it usually did.

"You are better company than you give yourself credit for," Thor said, ruffling Steve's hair. Then he sobered. "I do not wish to see you hurt again, however."

Steve sighed, glad for Thor's friendly arm around him. "Not like I chose it," he replied.

"But an easy love would suit you ill," Thor said, and Steve wondered if that weren't half his problem. Even with Peggy there had been so many things that got in the way. "Let us see if there is any way to keep your companion's attention, as I do not think Bruce will mind."

Chess, Steve found out, was a fantastic way to keep Tony's attention. Especially with Thor making more sober suggestions to Tony and Bruce sometimes drunkenly moving Steve's piece for him. He wasn't quite sure who won either of the two games they played, but he didn't think it mattered.

* * *

Steve woke with a gasp. That was...

That was _good_.

He lay on his bed, breathing heavily as he tried not to think about how he was going to have to get up and change his sheets. He was no stranger to that particular kind of dream, but this one had been more intense than usual.

It had also been about Tony Stark.

He'd had plenty of dreams about Iron Man, but those never brought him to completion. Steve was attracted to his fellow Avenger, but not to the armor itself. Any kind of dream with Iron Man's armor coming off ended up too vague and left to his imagination. This was obviously not a problem with Tony. Steve swallowed hard, trying not to think about the details of the dream or Natasha's words about Tony's tongue.

Looking Tony in the eye again was going to be interesting.

He finally pushed himself up, cleaning off as best he could with the sheets since they were already a lost cause. Tony was very different from Iron Man. While he loved Iron Man for his selflessness and goofy humor, Tony was sharp and bitter. Tony wasn't a fighter either, just giving the Avengers the money to operate, which was pretty selfless too. Just not in the same way. Tony was a civilian, and somehow just not the same as his love for Iron Man.

Tony was also vulnerable though, soft and caring when he let his defenses down. It attracted Steve more than he realized, calling out his need to protect. Iron Man in a lot of ways was untouchable, but Tony was very real, if completely out of Steve's league. Tony was clever and looked out for his friends if what Steve had seen was anything to go by. It was getting harder and harder _not_ to love Tony Stark and Steve could no longer avoid it. Just because it was different from his love for Iron Man, didn't mean it wasn't starting to be just as strong.

Sometimes Steve thought back to when his life was simple. It at least held a lot less heartbreak.

Looking at the clock told him it was way too early for his run, too early for him to even move from his bed really, but he hated sticky sheets. Once he had changed them, he was already awake and a bit hungry, if grouchy about it. He pulled out his tablet, figuring he might as well read a bit. It might calm his mind, and it would definitely distract him from thinking about how much experience Tony had.

It wasn't even ten minutes later when he started at JARVIS's voice. "Captain, you requested to be made aware should any of the Avengers emergency com devices go down. Agent Romanov and Agent Barton have been disconnected from the network."

"Where were they last?" Steve asked, instantly alert and on his feet.

"The GPS puts them just outside Doomwood Forest."

Steve pulled up a map, dismayed at how hard it was to find anything when so many things started with 'Doom'. "Get Director Fury on the line. I need an emergency meeting stat," he said, setting the tablet aside to dress quickly.

* * *

"That's pretty violent, even for you," Iron Man said.

Steve ignored him, continuing to punch the bag in front of him with a vengeance. It wasn't what he wanted to be pounding. In fact, it wasn't even a fair substitute. But it was all he had and it would have to do.

"Steve," Iron Man said, much closer but still a respectful distance away. "Talk to me, old man. What's the bee in your bonnet?"

"Natasha and Clint have been captured," Steve said as he threw another punch, his words clipped and precise.

"What?" Iron Man said, coming around where Steve could see the gold and red armor. "What the hell? Why didn't you raise an alarm?'

"Because Fury is refusing to do anything, citing international incidents. He also said that if I got on a plane, it would be shot down. And he's blocking my passport for commercial flights," Steve said, continuing his assault on the bag. He jabbed and followed through with a vicious uppercut that sent the bag to a sixty degree angle Iron Man had to avoid.

He could only assume that the sound Iron Man made was a whistle, though it was wildly distorted by the armor. "It's almost like Nick doesn't trust you not to go anyway," Iron Man said, more humor in his voice than Steve felt. "So why didn't you call _me_? No need to throw all the tea bags in the harbor. Trust me, Fury can't shoot me out of the sky. He can try, but he wouldn't succeed. I can get us wherever we need to go."

Steve punched the bag hard enough that it went flying, spilling over the floor.

"Whoa," Iron Man said, his hands up in pacifying motions despite the fact that it wasn't particularly reassuring considering his palms were where his weapons were. Steve didn't look up from the bag though, not acknowledging what he saw of Iron Man out of the corner of his eye.

"Steve," Iron Man tried again. "What's going on?"

"Would you?" Steve snapped, unable to control his temper any more. "Would you actually help? Because the way things have been going, I don't know if I can trust you."

"I... what?" Iron Man said, hurt permeating through his voice as he took a step back. "What are you talking about? Natasha and Clint are my friends too."

"And if I said they were captured in Latveria?" Steve spat.

Steve almost held out hope that Iron Man would prove him wrong. It was dashed when the armor's shoulders hunched over. "That's what I thought," Steve said, picking up the punching bag and putting it in the bag recycler Tony had made, then picking up a new bag and hanging it.

"Steve, I-"

"Don't need your excuses, Shellhead." Bitterness wrapped around Steve as he moved around the bag until he didn't have to look at Iron Man as he started up again.

"They won't be hurt," Iron Man said. "They shouldn't have been there in the first place. Fury's right about international incidents. Besides, Doom isn't the problem!"

"You know that for sure?" Steve pivoted and advanced on Iron Man, placing a finger on the arc reactor. "He's a super villain and you're trusting him? You're trusting him a hell of a lot more than us, if that's the case. What do you know, Shellhead?"

"Doom needs something I can do," Iron Man said. "I figured Fury would send someone, so we made a deal. His end of it is to not hurt them and return whoever it was when it was over."

Steve stared at Iron Man in shock, fury building up. "You knew all along? And you were willing to chance someone's _life_ on that?"

"It's the only way! And they're safer there than-" Iron Man started to say, then stopped. "You know what? Never mind."

He turned to leave, but Steve grabbed his shoulder, turning him back around. "We're not done here. You knew-"

"So. Did. You," Iron Man said, pushing Steve's hand off. "You knew they were going, didn't you? If you had come to me, I could have told them not to go! But you didn't."

"You won't even tell me what's going on!" Steve said. "You haven't given me any reason to trust you when Tony Stark is involved!"

"If that's what you think, then we're done here, Cap."

"You-"

The Avengers alarm blared, causing both of them to jump. "We'll finish this later," Steve promised.

"Can't wait," Iron Man replied as Steve took off to get his uniform.

"JARVIS, what's the status?" Steve asked.

"The robots have started attacking again in Virginia," JARVIS replied. "They are fighting very close to Dr. Ross's lab."

"Isn't that Bruce's friend?" Steve asked, placing the name from Bruce's file.

"Indeed, Captain."

Steve pulled off his undershirt as he reached his door, grabbing the uniform and slipping it on. "Have everyone get out there stat. I'll join them in the quinjet in five."

"Of course, Captain."

Steve only hoped that they could make it in time.

* * *

Steve sat in the rubble of the lab in Virginia, hunched over his shield as he tried to keep his eyes open. The lab had been practically demolished this time; the walls lay in shambles around him, and there were five casualties from the staff. The robot parts that had been scattered around him had all but disappeared, and he needed to help with the rest of the clean-up. Every time he tried to find the will to move, however, the weight of everything that had been going on dragged him back down. Between the deaths he'd been unable to stop, fighting with robots and his fight with Iron Man, Steve was exhausted.

"Dr. Ross is secure," Iron Man intoned, "and giving the SHIELD agents hell. I like her."

"She's not going to be part of Stark's pet scientists," Bruce replied, also sounding tired, but not green. "She doesn't need to get mixed up with all of this."

"You're awfully possessive of another man's fiancée, Dr. Banner, but I'll tell Mr. Stark she's off limits," Iron Man replied, obvious pouting in his synthesized voice. On any other day that could have made Steve smile. Now it just made him want to hunch over his shield more because Iron Man didn't even sound upset over their fight. It was like he'd put it from his mind entirely.

He hissed as the shield shifted against his ribs. He had at least one fracture and his right leg was probably sprained, but Steve ignored it. He needed to check in and start...

Steve took a deep breath and winced. He continued to listen to the chatter, to Iron Man's voice. It did seem a little flatter than usual, but otherwise it was like their fight had never happened. That hurt more.

It also hurt that Iron Man hadn't inquired about Steve's condition like he usually did after a fight.

Moving felt like too much effort. The com chatter faded to background noise as Steve curled around his shield. He was just so _tired_. He didn't know how long it was before there was a hand running through his hair. A human hand, not a metal one.

Steve schooled his expression into a smile and sat up straighter, hiding his pain and his exhaustion. He looked up to see a very concerned Bruce Banner. He was still shirtless, but he had found some pants that fit and his glasses. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine," Steve said, standing up and clipping the shield to his back. Normally it was a graceful movement that was practically instinctive by this point, but now it felt jerky and ungainly. His leg throbbed as he put weight on it, but he ignored that. "Sorry. Got lost in thought. Where do they want us to start on clean-up?"

Bruce didn't look convinced. He took in the state of Steve's uniform critically, and Steve was glad neither his ribs nor his leg showed outwardly. "Steve, I like to think we're past the point of lying and keeping injuries secret," Bruce said.

Steve flinched at the words, taking a step back and putting more weight on his bad leg. By the way Bruce's concern grew, Steve had probably pulled off it too quickly. "I'll be fine," he amended, though he didn't know if he was telling that to himself or to Bruce.

"You're going to medical," Bruce said, for once not avoiding eye contact but forcing it.

"It's nothing major," Steve said.

"I'll call Thor to carry you there," Bruce replied calmly.

Steve hunched his shoulders before he remembered about his ribs, which was unfortunate. "You drive a hard bargain, Doc," he said, remembering how Thor took great pleasure in using a bridal carry the last time Steve had been hurt. He'd never quite forgiven Iron Man for suggesting the hold. Or Natasha and Clint for taking pictures and putting them on the refrigerator.

Bruce moved to Steve's bad side and Steve let him duck under his arm to take some of Steve's weight. "You worry us when you push yourself too hard, Steve."

"You're one to talk," Steve replied. He knew how much transforming back from the Hulk took out of Bruce.

"I just... ah," Bruce faltered, losing his earlier confidence.

"Bruce?"

He sighed, then readjusted his glasses. "I came to tell you I would be staying near Betty and Leonard for a while. They were... The robots were after her. Not that the Hulk isn't just as likely to hurt them, but I..."

"The Hulk won't hurt them," Steve said firmly, marveling at how far Bruce had come. For him to suggest staying near Dr. Ross at all rather than sending someone else spoke volumes. The rest though... with Clint and Natasha gone, they were getting shorter on Avengers than Steve liked.

"Tony promised he'd work on a containment for the Hulk," Bruce said as they walked through the broken building. "He didn't want to, but I convinced him. And Iron Man will have a direct connection to my heart monitor watch. JARVIS will alert the team if the Other Guy breaks loose."

"If you need to change to the Hulk to protect them, we'll be here as quickly as possible," Steve assured him.

Bruce chuckled quietly. "That wasn't what I said, but you and Iron Man both have a way with twisting my words."

"Yeah," Steve said, watching the ground for loose rubble as the heaviness settled over him again. Of course Iron Man would look out for Bruce. But would he really, if he's forsaken Clint and Natasha?

"I know it's not my place, but did you have a fight with Iron Man?" Bruce asked.

Steve closed his hand into a fist, fighting down the still-burning anger. "I can't trust him any more. Because of him, Clint and Natasha are captured and there's no way for us to get them back."

Bruce's face darkened, but he controlled the Hulk. "Do you need me to-"

"No," Steve sighed. "Stay in Virginia with Dr. Ross. We have to believe that Natasha and Clint can take care of themselves for a little while longer. That's what Fury seems to think, anyway. Thor and I will figure something out."

"Thank you," Bruce said quietly. There was guilt in his voice that Steve could empathize with. "And Steve? I don't think Iron Man would do that without a very good reason."

"Doesn't matter. He's not on our side for this, but we'll get them back," Steve said. With or without Iron Man's help.

* * *

Steve was told to stay off the clean-up detail and rest. He wasn't happy about that, or about being packed up and sent home. He also wasn't happy about Thor returning to the Tower alone without Iron Man. Steve looked down at his phone, debating his next course of action.

There was a line. It was a line that made him ill to think about crossing, but... damn it, he hated this. Iron Man had already betrayed them, but that still wasn't a good enough reason to commit what could be corporate espionage. That didn't give him the right to betray _Tony_ , who was likely caught up in this mess and much more helpless to stop it.

It also might be the only way to save him.

Steve sighed, ignoring how that hurt his ribs, and turned the phone around in his hands. "JARVIS, how safe is the data on my phone?" he asked.

"The Avengers phones are made personally by Mr. Stark," JARVIS replied. "There are a very limited number of individuals who could potentially break the security, some of which are considered friendly to the Avengers and would be unlikely to do so."

"But there's still some that aren't friendly to us," Steve said. Doom was probably one of them.

"Indeed, Captain."

He shook his head, looking down at his phone. "Thank you, JARVIS. Could you tell me where Tony is right now?"

It was still the safest thing he had.

"Mr. Stark is currently down in the workshop."

Steve bit his lip. If he had a chance at this at all, it would have to be with Tony in the workshop. He didn't have the technological expertise to get past JARVIS, and he doubted Clint or Natasha did either. Someone at SHIELD could probably do it, but the last thing Steve wanted was to drag them into this. "Could you let him know I'd like to come down and speak with him?"

JARVIS was silent for a few moments as Steve turned on his phone's camera. "Mr. Stark has said that you have access to the workshop. I would warn you that he is not in a terribly talkative mood, however. Unless it is important, might I suggest waiting for a better time?"

"It is important. I'll be down to see him in a bit, thanks." He had to go in prepared. Perhaps he should hold off, though. Tony had been trying, but Steve kept pushing him too hard. If this was one of those times... But there wasn't much choice. This might be his only opportunity. He raided the pantry for some cookies and a couple of coffees, then headed down.

Mentally he prepared what he wanted to say as he waited in the elevator. He needed a few reference shots of Dummy for a drawing. Politely inquire what Tony was working on. And if it seemed suspicious or if it had to do with these particles and the robots, he would ignore the queasy feeling in his gut and take a few pictures that maybe Jane or Bruce could make sense of. This would work.

Unfortunately, he didn't want it to.

The workshop door slid open as he came close, and he saw Tony working on some kind of big machine in the back. It was a giant silver arch with wires hanging out of various panels, but he couldn't tell what it was for. His palms began to sweat. This wouldn't work. What was he thinking? He's a terrible liar and he was just going to mess this-

"Are you going to come in or just stand there and stare?" Tony asked, not looking up from the machine. Steve was momentarily distracted by his arms, which were bare and surprisingly well-toned.

"I, uh, brought some cookies?" Steve said, tearing his eyes away from Tony's muscles. Which was not what he was supposed to say at all, really. He was so glad Natasha wasn't here, because she never would have let him live this down.

Tony stopped working, leaning his head against the side of the machine and closing his eyes. He looked as exhausted as Steve felt, if not more so.

"Tony?" Steve asked.

"I shouldn't have let you come down," he heard Tony mutter. Then, louder and sharper in what made Steve assume he wasn't supposed to hear the first part, he said, "What do you want, Steve?"

"To bring you cookies?" Steve said, not sure where this cold welcome was coming from.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all," Tony said, his voice bitter.

Steve froze. Tony couldn't have guessed what he was down here for! He hadn't spoken any of his plans aloud either, so JARVIS couldn't have reported it. Steve flushed, wondering where he had gone wrong. "I wasn't-"

"I told you, I can't tell you anything," Tony said, anger leaving him, his voice dull. "If you're going to yell at me in lieu of Iron Man, you can just leave. I have work to do."

 _Oh_. At least he hadn't been discovered, but he could feel his own anger building. "Is that what you think I'm here for?"

"Aren't you?" Tony asked, pushing off the machine and climbing down as Steve set the cookies aside. "You had no problems laying into Iron Man and I know the reasons for everything he does. Blaming and judging is what America's _darling_ does best. You're no different from the rest of the country, at any rate."

"If that's what you think-"

"That's what I _know_ , Capsicle." Tony said, walking up to him and pushing on Steve's chest. Steve stood firm, not rocking back as Tony made shooing motions. "You want to blame me for Romanov and Barton, fine. Just do it elsewhere. Vamoose."

"I'm not blaming you for that. You're a civilian," Steve said.

"A civilian whose orders Iron Man is following," Tony replied. "I know just as much as he does. I know the risks."

"And what are those risks, Tony?" Steve asked, his temper finally getting the better of him. "Why do you get to decide by yourself?"

"Because nothing else works!" Tony shouted.

"So that means you can put Natasha and Clint in danger? For what? Your vanity?"

"To protect something I can't lose." Tony looked straight at Steve as he spoke in a way that unnerved him. His eyes were full of fear and guilt. They were also wet, Steve was surprised to find.

Steve raised his hand to Tony's face, ignoring the sick feeling he got when Tony flinched away and closed his eyes, preparing for a blow. Steve didn't hit him. He would never. He cupped Tony's face in his hand, using his thumb to brush the water away as he took in the dark bags under Tony's eyes. The weight of all of this was close to destroying him.

"Tony..." Steve said, suddenly at a loss for what to do. He was so angry at this man, but there was more than that going on here. He just wished he knew what. "You have to talk to me."

"I _can't_ ," Tony said. "I've tried. That only makes things worse."

"Can you tell me why it makes things worse? Is it something I do?" Steve asked, clamping down on his frustration. He wracked his brain trying to think of an example, but he couldn't.

Tony looked at him, and Steve could see him wavering. Steve pushed his anger aside and schooled his face into the most open and accepting expression he could manage. Tony looked from him to the machine he'd been working on, then down to the ground. He bit his lip.

"Please, Tony. Let us help," Steve pleaded.

He opened his mouth and Steve's breath caught. Then Tony snapped it shut and shook his head, knocking Steve's hand away. "I can't," Tony repeated, and Steve could see his fingers shaking. "The risk is too high. The more people that know, the more things go wrong. Don't ask again."

Steve turned away from Tony and walked up to the wall, putting his fist through it. Pain erupted in his knuckles and Tony flinched at the sound. Ignoring the pain and Tony, Steve looked at the hole he just created. "Clint and Natasha-"

"Are safe," Tony said. "Probably safer than if... That was part of the deal. I figured Fury would send someone to spy on Doom, just not... He promised not to hurt whoever came. Just detain them until this is all over."

"And you trust a super-villain?" Steve asked in disbelief.

"You're the one who told me to!" Tony shot back. Steve looked away. "He wants the same thing we do, Steve. That was part of the deal Iron Man made with him for us to do his dirty work and track down the source of the robots while keeping his name out of the public eye."

Steve didn't know much about this deal, but the media's silence on the Doombot attacks suddenly made sense. The robot attacks made the news, but not who sent them.

"So you're asking me to trust you?" Steve asked. It was too little, too late. If Tony or Iron Man had come to him at the start of this, it might have been different. But now...

He looked up at Tony's bitter laugh, only to see Tony had gone back to the machine. "Tony?"

"I'm not asking you to trust me, Captain," Tony said, picking up a wrench. "I'm asking you to leave me alone, because I'm not telling you anything more. I know which one I'm actually likely to get."

Steve didn't know what hurt more, Tony's lack of faith or the fact that he was right. He walked back over to the tray, unsure if he should take it back or not. This wasn't what he'd planned at all. But when he got there, he noticed a surprising amount of paper diagrams that he'd ignored as general paperwork when he'd first come in. "I thought you did everything in holograms?" Steve blurted out, sifting through the pages. It looked like the machine Tony was working on.

Tony threw him an unimpressed look. "Considering the enemy uses a combination of Doom's and my tech to make robots appear and disappear on a whim, I'm not chancing this anywhere on the server. Don't bother trying to take a picture of it. JARVIS is blocking your phone app."

Steve flushed as Tony went back to work. He had either known all along, or he'd just taken a good guess. Either way, shame crept along his blush, and he had a sudden urge to put another hole in Tony's wall. "That's not why I'm here," Steve insisted, or at least tried to.

"You're a terrible liar, Steve," Tony said, a new layer of hurt and exhaustion in his voice. "Just go."

Steve stared at the plans, committing them to memory as much as he could. "I'll leave the cookies here," he said awkwardly, leaving Tony to his work.

* * *

"You wished for a word?"

Steve looked up from his drawing to see Thor in the doorway. Then he looked back down at the drawing, making sure it was as accurate as he could remember, words and equations included. He was just making sure it was correct, not avoiding eye contact. "I have something I need Jane's opinion on," he said, still not looking up.

He was on his own floor where JARVIS only monitored if there was an unauthorized person entering, and it felt strange. He didn't usually stay on his floor for very long, only Tony's insistence he couldn't change it being the reason Steve still claimed it. That and the light in the back room made a good spot for painting. Normally it seemed like a waste just to have this big space he barely used, but now...

"It should be easy to send her a picture," Thor said with a smile. "Are you in need of her number?"

"I don't want this on the network," Steve said, shaking his head. Tony was right. If whoever is behind those robots can teleport all of the bits and pieces out, then hacking would probably be child's play.

Thor frowned, sitting down next to Steve. "Is this something Stark requires assistance with?"

"It's... something I saw in Tony's workshop. I need to know what it is," Steve admitted.

"Are you certain this is wise, my friend?" Thor asked, his voice grave. "I know you and Iron Man have argued of late, but this is a line you may not be able to come back from."

Steve hunched his shoulders in a habit he'd had since before the serum. He almost wished he were smaller again, because doing this made him feel small and petty. "I can't trust either of them right now, Thor. Not with Natasha and Clint in Doom's hands. We need to find out what he's up to. If need be, we stop him."

He didn't look up from the drawing, but he felt Thor's hand on his shoulder and fought against leaning into it.

"Then I will go immediately and let you know upon my arrival," Thor replied.

"This - He'll be angry with you too when he finds out," Steve said.

"I trust my Captain's judgement," Thor said. "As I trust Iron Man and what I've seen of his employer. I do not think they mean us ill, but you are right in believing something suspicious going on."

"Thanks, Thor," Steve said as he handed over the drawing. "Keep it away from any cameras."

"I will," Thor promised. "We can only hope our armored friend will forgive us our sins against him."

Steve rubbed his eyes, already hearing the betrayal in Iron Man's voice. It was made worse by how defeated Tony had looked when Steve had left the workshop earlier. He nearly grabbed the drawing back, but he held firm. This needed to be done.

"We will get to the bottom of this," Thor said, squeezing Steve's shoulder again before leaving.

Sighing, Steve leaned over his knees and put his face in his hands. "Then why do I feel like the bad guy here?" he asked the empty room.


	4. Chapter Four

Steve had seen Tony's eyes hesitant and angry. He'd seen them sparkle and warm when Tony was excited. He felt a little bit in love with that specific brown every time Tony smiled.

He'd never seen them dead and defeated before, not even when Tony'd been exhausted and worried about Rhodes. The fact that Steve had been the one to put that expression there twisted at his stomach and left a knot in his throat that wouldn't dissolve.

After a brief message from Thor saying Jane was looking over the schematics, Steve went to the gym. He blinked six hours later when JARVIS was politely suggesting he eat, wondering where the time had gone.

He couldn't afford to lose more time.

He looked down at his bloody knuckles. He'd started out with gymnastics and strength training to avoid the punching bags, but he gravitated towards them eventually. He knew his hands should hurt, but he couldn't feel the pain. He couldn't look away from the red staining the white of the wrap.

"Captain, your blood sugar levels are dropping dramatically. Perhaps a candy bar would be to your liking?" JARVIS entreated.

"I... Yeah. Thanks, JARVIS," Steve said, slowly unwrapping the gauze and folding it to throw out later. He dropped off his gym bag in his room then headed to the kitchen, acutely feeling how empty the Tower was. Usually someone came along and forced a protein bar on him after about four hours. Usually Bruce or Iron Man would...

Steve went to the cupboard, grabbing a bar and unwrapping it as he contemplated dinner and not Iron Man's avoidance. He finished it off quickly enough, his hunger making itself known despite its bland taste. He reached for the bread to make a quick sandwich when a familiar sound rang through the hallway.

Dropping the wrapper, Steve made a note to pick it up later as he rushed after the sound of Iron Man's clunky gait. He caught a glimpse of red and gold going to the balcony. "Iron Man, wait up!" he called out.

"Oh, God. Captain! You're-" Iron Man cut off, his gauntlet in front of where Steve assumed his mouth was.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked, unsure of how to take Iron Man's strange behavior. He was also moving differently, the armor more jerky than usual. "Are you hurt?"

"What? No," Iron Man said. "You can yell at me later. _I_ will yell at me later. I can't believe I'm doing this."

Steve took a step back, baffled. He could understand Iron Man still being angry, but this didn't make any sense. "Maybe you should have Tony check you over," Steve said, his hands up in surrender.

"He is the last person I want to see right now. He's the one who got me into this mess in the first place! This is going to be _violent_ and how did I let him talk me into this?"

"I... Okay?" Steve asked. Iron Man had never complained about being Tony's employee before, but he supposed Tony might have done something to upset him. Did that mean he might talk about what was going on finally?

"I'm going to get _shot_ at," Iron Man said, and Steve sensed he was a little hysterical. Not even the mechanized voice could hide the small note of fear.

"Who's gonna be shooting at you?" Steve asked sharply. For Iron Man to be this upset, it had to be dangerous. He moved closer, hoping to grab Iron Man before he took off. "Shellhead, tell me what's going on. Let me help!"

"I don't have time for this," Iron Man muttered. "Rhodey is-" Iron Man stopped, putting his hands flat like he was about to take off. "JARVIS, I need you to-"

Iron Man let out a small scream as he shot into the sky before Steve could grab his wrist. Steve watched for a moment before rushing back into the Tower.

He rounded on the one source he had. "JARVIS, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say, Captain."

"Bullshit," Steve snapped. He was not going to be in the dark on this any longer. "JARVIS, Iron Man is going into a fight and he wasn't in any condition to be doing so. I need to know where he's gone."

"Be that as it may, you are not authorized to know that information. My programming will not allow me to tell you."

"JARVIS," Steve said dangerously. "I will make a call to-"

His phone started ringing, startling him with the vibrations coming from his pocket.

"I believe you should take that, Captain," the AI said, a hint of ice in his tone. "And I would not recommend following through on the threat you were about to make."

"This isn't over," Steve said, but he pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered. He didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Is this Steve?" It was a female voice, one that sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

"This is he," he replied, glad no one was around to call him on how formal he was being.

"Oh, my God, you're actually Captain America, aren't you?" the woman replied. "Sorry. That was, wow, this is so embarrassing. You'd think I wouldn't care about meeting anyone after the actual god of thunder, but... I'm sorry. I'm being unprofessional and I'm rambling, it's just you're Captain America and the science behind the serum is fascinating. Not that I really study it, but-"

"Jane, you should tell him what you have discovered," Steve heard Thor say. It was muffled enough that he assumed it wasn't on speaker phone.

"Dr. Foster?" Steve asked, feeling a bit more on solid ground.

"Oh, yes. Sorry. Right. You have to stop him!"

Steve froze. "You figured out the machine? What has he done?"

"It's a portal," Jane said. "That part was easy since it's largely based off my theories, but not enough to report back on. It doesn't move through space though, just time. But that's the problem. Tony said something about the tachyon particles forming a message before he cut us off, so I've been trying to crack that using some of the designs and equations on here. Which are amazing, by the way. I build most of my tools, but these are really-"

"Dr. Foster, what is he planning?" Steve asked, his voice hard.

"He's going to kill himself."

"He what?" Steve felt like he couldn't breathe. That was not what he was expecting. Out of all the things she could have said... Horror swept over him. "How do you know that?" he demanded.

"The message," Jane said. "It's from Tony Stark in the future. We only got bits of it before someone blocked the signal entirely, but the best we can tell is that something terrible happened, and the message is some sort of instruction on how to avoid it. The portal he's making is supposed to be a last chance scenario to fix things if everything else failed. He was about to use it."

Steve swallowed. The machine had looked nearly finished. "You said it was a portal."

"To a time corridor," Jane said. "As far as I can tell, it's not set up to actually go anywhere. He would need some sort of stabilizer for it to be safe, but he hasn't been able to make one."

"So he built an unusable portal that will kill him? Why would he do that?" Steve asked.

He started to pace as Jane explained, making sure his grip didn't go too tight on his phone. "If something or someone was thrown outside of time and erased completely, presumably he could get them out of it before he died. I assume whatever it was had to be important to the time line, as he _does_ have a stabilizer to anchor him in time, so everything he's done in the past will still happen. But the Tachyon particles would age him in a matter of seconds when he does tries to get whatever it is out, and I can't even begin to guess how to make a stabilizer for that. That could take years."

"And years would be too late," Steve said with growing horror. "He's... He'll just go in the portal to get it? He's a civilian!"

"That's what we could tell from the bits of the message we decoded before it was blocked," Jane replied. "Tony said no one else was going to die because of him and after the message was recorded he was going in."

It was worse than what Steve had been picturing. He'd rather Tony had been making weapons again at Doom's insistence. He couldn't... Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. He couldn't lose Tony now.

"I'll stop him," Steve promised.

"Okay. Thor is going to head back and - Thor!"

Jane screamed and Steve nearly dropped the phone. "Dr. Foster?"

"Thor will be with you after he's taken out the robots that just appeared," Jane said, her voice tight.

"I'll take the quinjet out and meet-"

"No, stop Tony. The date stamp on that message was for tomorrow," Jane said. "I've got to go help evacuate people. We'll be fine."

She sounded scared, but determined. Steve couldn't argue with that. "Take care," he said, hanging up the phone.

Pacing had done nothing to help the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He strode to the elevator, not sure where he was going, but needing to go somewhere. "JARVIS, where is Tony?" he snapped.

"Mr. Stark is currently down in the workshop," JARVIS said, sounding both apprehensive and relieved.

Steve didn't have time to marvel at a computer program that could sound like that. "Take me down to the workshop now," he said before the elevator doors closed.

"Of course, Captain."

The elevator ride felt longer than normal, but Steve knew that it was just in his head. When he got down to the lab, he knocked on the door, but it didn't open. The keypad was completely black as well, none of the usual lights lit up.

Steve looked through the glass, his view too limited to see Tony or the machine. Then he looked down at his hands. Having the shield would be better because he was pretty sure that was reinforced glass and it was bulletproof. He wasn't sure he wanted to waste the time to go back up and get it, however. He couldn't afford Tony an opportunity to escape now that he was fairly sure JARVIS had warned him of what Steve knew. "JARVIS, is Tony going to let me in?"

"I'm afraid not, Captain," JARVIS said regretfully. "He is also refusing to come out."

"Then tell him I will break my way in if he doesn't open the door," Steve said.

Looking around while he waited, Steve saw nothing that could help him in the hallway. He settled on taking off his shirt, starting to tear the fabric into strips. It was only his under shirt since he'd been working out, but it would do. He wished he still had the wrap from the gym, but this would protect his hands a little at least.

"Mr. Stark has declined to open the door," JARVIS said as Steve started to wrap his hands.

"Ask him to reconsider," Steve replied, more to give himself extra time as his hands moved through the familiar motions. "I'd hate to have to replace the glass."

He moved on to his other hand, wrapping it as well as he could, then planted his feet in the ground and waited for JARVIS to respond.

"The answer is still-"

Steve punched the glass. Pain spread through his knuckles at the strength of it and the glass cracked, but didn't break. He followed up with his other hand, hitting the same spot twice in rapid succession. He ignored how his hands screamed at him, figuring it would take a few more hits. Bits of the glass were chipping and breaking off, but it wasn't a full hole yet. It was getting thinner with each chip that came off though.

He punched through it just as the door slid open to reveal a wide-eyed Tony Stark.

"What the hell, Steve!" Tony said, grabbing Steve's closest hand. The fabric protecting his hand was splattered with blood and had a few bits of glass sticking out of it, which Steve would admit probably looked bad. It didn't feel as bad as it looked at least, though Steve doubted that would remain the same after the adrenaline rush died down.

"I said I'd break it down," Steve said, glancing at the bits of broken glass that now littered the ground.

"I didn't think you'd do it with your bare hands! Fuck." There was panic in Tony's eyes, but he pulled Steve into the workshop and carefully started to unwrap the fabric to get a better look at the cuts.

The sting jarred Steve out of his passiveness and he knocked Tony's hand away. "We need to talk."

"You need to at least let me get the fucking glass out of your hand!" Tony almost shouted, but he didn't meet Steve's yes. "You can yell at me after."

"There's no time for this," Steve said, though he let Tony take his hand again as they got to the sink and he stayed still as Tony reached for the first aid kit. "Thor is fighting more robots and you-"

"I am going to stop you from making it worse before you go out there," Tony said, cutting him off. "If he were in that much trouble, you would have already gone to him, not break into my workshop with your damned _fists_."

"Thor ain't the one with a god damned suicide note," Steve shouted.

Tony froze. He was barely breathing, and Steve wondered if he had gone too far. "You saw it then," Tony said, absolute grief and loss packed into those four words. "You _know_."

"Tony..." Steve reached out with his good hand to touch Tony's shoulder. "Tell me what's going on. Why are you making a machine that will kill you?"

Tony slapped Steve's hand away. Steve was surprised to find Tony's eyes were wet when they finally met his. They were also angry. "You damn well know why. You saw the video. It means I _failed_. Again. And you saw so now there's no chance I can turn it around."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, wondering if he'd stepped in over his head.

Brown eyes narrowed at Steve. "You saw it."

"I never said that," Steve said in exasperation. "Jane decoded a partial message and called me to say the portal would kill you. And you knew that."

"Partial..." Tony dropped to the floor, Steve barely moving fast enough to catch him. He hissed as the movement jostled the glass in his fist, but he held on. "Tony? What's wrong?" he asked in alarm.

"You still don't know," Tony said hysterically. "There's still a chance to..."

"Tony?" Steve was starting to feel awkward. He was holding Tony up with the other man pressed against his bare chest, which made Steve remember he'd never gotten the shower he'd planned to take after eating. Not to mention the feeling of Tony's shuddering breath against his skin was making his heart race. Not that his crush getting in the way right now was in any way appropriate, and Christ, he hoped Tony wouldn't look up to see how red Steve was. "Tell me what's going on?" Steve asked again, trying desperately to keep his voice level.

"I _can't_."

Steve sighed, lowering them both to the floor slowly. He reached up and grabbed the first aid kit, making sure Tony could at least sit up by himself before opening the kit and starting to pick the glass out of his fist with a pair of tweezers. It wasn't easy with his non-dominant hand, but he was fairly ambidextrous after the serum anyway.

"Let me do th-" Tony started.

"Your hands are shaking," Steve pointed out.

Tony looked down at his hands then closed his eyes. Steve was torn between anger at Tony's secrets and wanting to comfort him. He focused on his hand, because that was at least a neutral thing to do.

"I can't tell you," Tony repeated.

"So you've said," Steve replied, wincing at how angry he sounded.

"No, I... It's the common denominator, Steve. That message was from Future Tony Number Eight. I've failed to do this right _eight times_. And every time I've told you or one of the others, I fail again." Tony's voice cracked on the last word, and he didn't look up.

"Is that what this is about?" Steve asked, temper getting the better of him. "Your pride at failing?"

Tony flinched as if Steve's words had been a physical blow. When he opened his eyes this time, they were dry. They were also dull and lifeless in a way that sent chills down Steve's spine. Tony had closed himself off in more ways than one. "You should go help Thor," he said, making to stand.

Steve grabbed his wrist with his good hand. It was easy to keep the already wobbly Tony down with him. "I'm sorry," Steve said. "That wasn't... I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that."

Tony stared at Steve's hand around his wrist, but didn't pull away. It was funny how Steve assumed Tony was the one always lashing out, but Tony hadn't said anything this time. Steve was just as bad, spoiling for a fight the way he had been. His face grew hot with shame. "Why is it so important that you not fail?" Steve asked, trying a different angle.

"The time line gets screwed up. A lot of people die in the chaos. Those that don't are conquered," Tony said. "If I fail, the only way to fix it is with that."

Tony gestured with his free hand, motioning to the machine. Steve looked over to see that it was completed now, silver and menacing. He felt his stomach drop out from under him. The other eight Tonys... They fixed things, didn't they? "You're not dead," Steve said in a rush.

"Not yet. Either sending things back in time creates a second, different universe, or sending it back in time will change things. Either way, it's been eight times that it hasn't worked," Tony said. "The future mes, they all still died. They just tried to make sure we'd get it right eventually."

But Tony hadn't gotten it right, not yet. Tony had died eight times to save the world. And Steve had accused him of betrayal. They were a right pair, the both of them.

"Who else knows?" Steve asked.

"Doom," Tony replied. "He was the one who helped me decode the parts the message of the message I was struggling with. I'm assuming he also stopped Jane from getting the rest of the message while I've been down here. Iron Man was there when Doom first decoded it. That's all. Not even Pepper and Happy know the truth."

"If you had come to me at the start and told me this, I could have known to trust you," Steve said.

"You can't-"

"I know," Steve said. "But knowing this much hasn't hurt things yet, has it?"

"I don't know," Tony whispered.

Steve nodded, letting go of Tony's wrist now that he was staying put to finish tending his knuckles. He really should clean it out properly, but the Neosporin was in the kit and he didn't want to move further away from Tony.

"You should go help Thor," Tony said.

"I'm not leaving while _that_ is still operational," Steve said, motioning to the death trap.

"It's not like I _want_ to use it!" Tony snapped. Steve could see fear behind the anger in Tony's eyes, though he didn't know if the fear was of dying or of failing. Maybe both.

"Then don't," Steve said, making up his mind. "If you fail, I'll go through."

"Don't you _dare_." Tony looked up at Steve for the first time, his hands balled into fists in his lap. "You can't."

"Why not? If you can sacrifice yourself for the world, why can't I?" Steve asked, starting to wrap the bandage around the worst of the cuts. He thankfully hadn't hurt himself too badly, though it'd be a little painful to draw for a while.

"Because it's my fault, not yours!" Tony said. "I'm the one who has to fix this. No one else should die because of my mistakes and I won't-"

Steve leaned over and grabbed Tony's chin in his good hand. Tony jerked in surprise, but didn't move away. "What are you-" Tony started to say, but Steve had heard enough. He leaned in to stop those lips from moving.

Tony went still for a second, then tried to press forward, but Steve only licked lazily into Tony's mouth, mapping it with a thoroughness that could only be achieved through a slow and steady approach. It took a moment, but Tony finally whined softly, stopping his fight to push it harder and faster.

Tony was far from passive in the kiss, however, even if Steve enforced the pace, and Steve soon found himself stifling a moan because wow, he didn't know a kiss could feel this good. Tony's _tongue_. That was something he was going to study more often and thoroughly. He could see why Natasha said to be careful of it.

Finally Steve pulled away. He knew his flush was on full display without his shirt, but he was pleased to see he wasn't the only one sporting a touch of red.

"I thought..." Tony started hesitantly. "I thought you liked Iron Man."

"He turned me down," Steve said. And it still hurt. He doubted he could ever really stop loving Iron Man, any more than he could stop loving Peggy. But Iron Man had turned him down, even if those feelings had been reciprocated to some degree. "I can't say I'm not still in love with him, but I'm not gonna waste the chance to have something good between us because he said no. It's time I moved on."

Tony looked like he couldn't quite believe what Steve was saying. "You want _me_?"

"Yeah," Steve said, giving Tony a small, lopsided grin before ducking his head. "Ya gotta problem with that?"

"I..." Tony looked down at his hands, then set his shoulders. "There's something you should know before-"

The Avengers alarm went off before Tony could finish, and Steve cursed silently as he scrambled to his feet. "Do _not_ use that machine, Tony. At least wait until I'm back. Whatever it is can wait until then."

"Steve," Tony said, and he accepted Steve's hand up. He let go once he was upright, but before Steve could turn to leave, Tony's hands were on his shoulders and pulling him down for a bruising kiss.

This time Steve had none of the control. Tony pushed fast and hard, like this was his last chance. Steve's hands fell to Tony's hips, pulling him closer, tightening before he remembered his strength. He'd feel guilty for leaving bruises later, but now all he could think about were the chapped lips demanding his attention.

When Tony pulled back, Steve felt a little breathless. "Be careful out there," Tony said, stepping away. He wasn't meeting Steve's eyes. "I'll prep the quinjet for you."

Steve couldn't stop the broad grin that grew so much it almost hurt his face, even if Tony wasn't looking. "Sure thing, Tony. I'll see you when I get back."

He raced for the elevator, missing Tony glancing up as he left, eyes wet with unshed tears.

* * *

JARVIS filled him in as he changed and grabbed his shield, racing to the hangar. The quinjet was prepped just as Tony promised. Steve wasn't the best pilot, but he was passable. He also hated flying despite Iron Man walking him through the updated controls and being with him when he first took the helm again.

Now wasn't the time to think about crashing and ice, however. He had a robot invasion to stop and he had to do it without the rest of the Avengers for back up since Iron Man was AWOL.

Landing was the worst part, but he didn't have to go through it today. Once he was over the SHIELD warehouse in Maine where the robots were fighting, Steve grabbed a parachute. "JARVIS, take over for me and take the jet back to the barn. I'll catch a ride back later."

He opened the hatch after JARVIS's confirmation then jumped out into the cool Maine evening.

The free fall was everything Steve loved in life. The adrenaline, the air rushing around him, and the open sky made Steve regret needing the chute, but there was no water down there and even _he_ wouldn't survive that fall. He held off on opening it for longer than he should have, giving him the momentum to drop and roll in the courtyard once he dislodged from the chute. The edge of his shield came in contact with a robot's chin soon after, and he looked around to get his bearings.

"What's the status?" Steve demanded into the com as he threw his shield at another bot, taking its head clean off. The building was behind him, the trees were well back, cordoned off by a fence, and the courtyard was over taken with about thirty robots. Just what he needed to take his frustration out on.

"This is First Lieutenant Li. The warehouse has been evacuated, Captain," a voice told him. "There's too much in the warehouse to abandon it, however. We've been fighting them the best we can, but-"

"Pull back," Steve ordered, catching his shield and driving it into the chest of the nearest robot. "Keep an escape route open for me in case things get too hot, but I won't let them have the warehouse."

"Yes, sir."

Taking out three more, Steve began feeling a sense of growing unease. If these robots were from a different time, then whatever information was in the warehouse couldn't be what they were after. Fury _said_ it was just files, but one could never be too sure with Fury. What was it the robots wanted? Why attack some place so remote?

Steve flipped over a robot that tried to shoot him with its lasers and focused on the fight. As long as he kept them from their objective, he could figure out what it was later.

There were at least twenty robots left, but they went down surprisingly easy. Steve was starting to get a bad feeling about all of this. He decapitated the last robot with his shield, then waited, holding ready until the parts disappeared like normal.

They didn't.

"Lieutenant, I need - Ah!" The static in his ear was intense and he nearly dropped his shield as he fell to his knees. He pulled down his cowl and fumbled for the com link, ears still ringing as he tried to stand, but stumbled.

The world was spinning when he got hit in the back, the energy of it sending him flying into the warehouse wall. Steve groaned, but thankfully his equilibrium was returning and he brought up the shield in time to block the next attack. It was strong, and Steve grunted as he was pushed back against the wall again.

"Greetings, Avenger," a deep voice said. Steve looked over his shield to see a man in some kind of futuristic chair. He wore odd green and purple garments with some kind of screen that protected his face like a space suit helmet, except that it made his skin look purple as well.

"I thought aliens were supposed to be little green men," Steve said, wincing as he stood up properly. His back didn't thank him for that fall.

"I am not an alien, Captain. I come from Earth in the 41st century," the man said. He stood and walked towards him, leaving the chair behind.

"So you come back in time to make us fight robots? Sounds like you need a new hobby, mister."

"I required knowledge of the Avengers abilities before attacking directly," the man said, confirming Steve's suspicion that they were being drawn out for a reason before. "Then I learned how to drive all of you apart."

"Now you're gonna take us out one by one?" Steve asked, scanning the area. It was admittedly a good plan, especially after taking out his com. Steve wasn't sure he could handle this guy on his own, but he wasn't about to admit that out loud. "I'm gonna draw the line here, buddy. You're not getting to the others."

"I do not need to," the man said. He fired another blast, which Steve rolled to avoid, tossing his shield at the man in an attempt to catch him off guard.

Instead of hitting him, the man raised his hand and stopped the shield in mid-air. That wasn't a good sign. "Who are you?" Steve asked.

"I am Kang. I have come from the future to eliminate you, the man who should not exist in this time."

At least Kang wasn't interested in the other Avengers. Steve didn't really have time to think about that, however, as Kang sent his shield spinning back at him. It was too fast to dodge and the breath was knocked out of him as it hit him in the gut.

Steve swallowed down bile and focused on breathing. He coughed, glad nothing came up. Clutching at his shield, he pushed himself up just in time to meet another blast. It caught the shield, but still sent him flying.

He stayed down this time, eyes closed and breathing hard as he heard Kang come closer, his strange boots crunching on the gravel around the warehouse. He held himself loose, ignoring the gravel biting into his cheek and willing his body not to respond to Kang's proximity.

"To think, you would destroy the world if you kept living," Kang said, his voice low. "I expected more of a fight, even from a Neanderthal."

Steve didn't answer. He ignored the pain, listening for his chance. When he heard the sound of the energy gun, Steve flipped over and pushed up enough to get on his feet. He threw his whole body forward, momentum driving the shield into Kang's ribs, then up under his chin to drive him back.

Allowing himself a moment of satisfaction at Kang's grunt of pain, Steve prepared for the next attack. It was very short-lived, unfortunately. No sooner had he regained his balance, Steve found himself caught in a green bubble. He pounded at it with his shield, realizing he was now hovering in mid-air. The bubble stayed strong, refusing to break or yield.

"Why are you doing this?" Steve demanded, giving the bubble one last go. It still refused to break.

"It is clear that you are the one who will destroy this world, and the future with it," Kang said, picking himself up off the ground. "You are the one who doesn't belong in this time period. So I will kill you, and save the world and my own future."

"I won't destroy the world!" Steve said, stopping his attack as fear crept over him. He would never.

"Perhaps not intentionally," Kang said. "But history does not lie. You are at the center of it."

Steve lowered his shield. He didn't know if this man was telling the truth. He certainly seemed futuristic enough, and he appeared to believe what he was saying. He doubted even Tony could make this kind of technology in his life time. If it were true and the world got destroyed because of him... he would have to stand down.

Besides, Kang was right. He never belonged in this time.

"It's over, Captain. It is fitting a man from the future is the one to destroy a man out of time," Kang said, raising his hand.

Electricity shot out from the edge of the bubble. Steve cried out in pain, unable to move as green electricity raced up his body. Pain roared through his extremities to his core, but he couldn't move to hunch over and protect himself. It burned through him, like fire on his nerves. Was this it?

Just as suddenly as the sparks started, they stopped.

Steve dropped to the ground with a groan, unable to break his fall. Over the roaring in his ears Steve could hear Kang screaming instead, and he forced his head up to see the same electricity that had been attacking Steve now on the other man.

"Why not try a taste of your own medicine?" a familiar voice said.

Whipping his head around, Steve was greeted with a very welcome sight lounging in Kang's chair. "Iron Man!"

"Impossible," Kang said, struggling to stand with the electrical currents. "You went to Afghanistan. There's no way a relic like that armor could get into my technology!"

"Yeah, funny thing about that. Not my first rodeo. Also not the first time Mr. Stark has come across your tech. He's a quick study." Iron Man wasn't in his usual armor, Steve realized. It was an older model from a few months ago, but it looked to be in fighting shape.

Kang's hand was moving towards his belt and he hit a button on it, dispelling the current.

"Iron Man, look out!" Steve said as Kang fired a shot at him.

The shot bounced off the chair's shields, which surprised Steve. Iron Man was tapping furiously at the pad on the chair, but otherwise seemed to be in control.

Steve pushed himself up on one knee, assessing his damage. He hurt like hell, but he could ignore that as long as he could get his feet under him. He could still fight, and Iron Man was going to need the help.

"Damocles, recall-" Kang started.

"JARVIS, open port 290926," Iron Man said, a grin in his voice. "Sorry. Hate to break it to ya, but Damocles won't be responding to you anymore."

"Damocles!" Kang roared. "Answer me!"

"I regret to inform you, sir, that the Damocles weapons and on board systems are directly under my control," JARVIS said through a speaker on the chair.

"Funny thing, future technology," Iron Man said. "It's all based on technology from the past. Your robots were based on both Stark and Doom tech and between the two of them, it offered me a way in. Doom has been remarkably helpful considering he doesn't want you taking over either."

"Conquering this world would be a boon to it!" Kang replied. "I will speed up the rate at which technology is produced so that when the war comes, Earth will be ready for it!"

"What war?" Steve asked.

"The war in which you destroy the world," Kang said, turning to Iron Man. "You have access to my ship's systems. You will have the blood of the world on your hands!"

Steve bowed his head, closing his eyes. "Iron Man, is this guy really from the future?" he asked.

"According to the time stamps, yes," Iron Man replied.

"Then if what he's saying is true, I'll have to stand down," Steve said, even when every inch of him was screaming against it. What would Steve Rogers be without the fight? He didn't know. He should have gone down with the last Great War, because this century had no place for him, not if he was going to destroy it.

Iron Man was silent for a moment. "Are you saying we should listen to him? Let him take over?"

"You're the one who belongs in this century, not me," Steve said, hating how his voice broke at that. "It's up to you."

"Okay, but this guy's being an ass about it. So let's not," Iron Man said, tapping into the chair's interface. "Besides, who said you didn't belong here? There's no place I'd rather have you be."

Steve huffed, feeling warmed by the words. He might be the one who potentially destroys the world, but if Iron Man said he had a place by his side, then Steve was willing to work for it.

Kang shot at Iron Man again, the light absorbed by the shields. But in the time it took to hit, Kang had moved fast, bringing down an ax made of light on the shield. Iron Man was furiously tapping at the controls, but the shield flickered until he had to jump away, yelping as the ax came down. Kang left the ax in the chair, grabbing Iron Man by the neck, lifting him off the ground with one hand and not even looking strained.

So much for sitting this one out. Steve forced himself to his feet and threw his shield, stumbling as close to them as he could. The shield bounced off the energy field Kang had, but Steve caught it on the rebound and threw himself into a close quarters attack. Unfortunately he also bounced off the energy field and was thrown back again. He groaned in pain, once again forcing himself up to one knee to see Iron Man still struggling to break the grip on his neck.

"He still has no idea who you are," Kang said.

Iron Man stopped fighting, the silence deafening. Steve looked at the chair that was now being ignored by both of them. He'd never be able to get it to work like Iron Man could, but he had to try. The thought of what Kang was threatening made his stomach turn. Not like this.

Iron Man's scream cut off his thoughts, but he refused to look, knowing he could do nothing for Iron Man right now. Pushing himself up with his shield, Steve made a dash for the chair. He just hoped it wasn't too late.

Steve didn't sit down, just pressed the nearest buttons he could, smashing everything he could get his hands on. Pain erupted in his spine as he was thrown back yet again, and he was really starting to resent that.

"Neanderthal!" Kang yelled. "Do not touch things that you don't understand!"

Steve pushed himself up to see a portal of some sort. It was black and fluctuating, and Steve immediately felt nauseous. He stepped back, the sick feeling fading as he moved further away. He was grateful for that, at least. Whatever that glowing circle as, it wasn't good.

"Stop... helping, Winghead," Iron Man said, firing a repulsor at Kang which bounced off harmlessly. He was still dangling from Kang's hand, his voice panicked in a way that Steve had never heard.

Kang looked at Steve, a smile spreading on his purple lips. "Indeed. Captain, if you would walk through the portal, I will spare your fellow Avenger's life."

Steve looked at the dark circle, feeling the unnaturalness of it. "And what happens if I go in?"

" _Don't_ ," Iron Man said.

"You will be taken out of time. You do not belong here, Steven Rogers," Kang replied.

"Completely out of time!" Iron Man said. "It'd be like you never existed! Steve, Hydra would - Ah!"

"It would be much easier to conquer a world with one dictator," Kang said, the green electricity attacking Iron Man. Steve tightened his grip on his shield. "How hot in there do you have to be to roast alive?" Kang asked.

"Don't... Don't, Steve," Iron Man said.

"Shellhead," Steve replied helplessly. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't let Hydra win the second Great War. He didn't know how much of a personal effect he had on the outcome of the war, but Shmidt would have at least bombed New York and the other cities if Steve hadn't stopped him. He couldn't waste those thousands of lives to save his best friend.

There _had_ to be another way out of this. Steve refused to accept this outcome. Maybe if he threw his shield at the chair it would disrupt-

Steve's head snapped back to Kang and Iron Man as the armor made a strange noise. It was _opening_ , Steve realized with a start. The suit had heated so much that it was ejecting its occupant. "God damn it, JARVIS, that failsafe was for Rhodey, not for me!" Tony said as he came out of the suit, his fist balled to punch Kang's face plate.

Kang caught his arm, making Tony cry out as Kang held him off the ground again.

" _Tony?_ " Steve asked, his eyes going wide again. Tony was wearing the same t-shirt and jeans as the last time he'd seen the man, but this time there was glowing white circle in his chest that shone through the shirt.

Tony kicked at Kang, breaking his hold in a move that Steve had taught Iron Man. He fell to the ground, rolling away. But Kang reached out to the chair, pulling out the glowing ax. He was going to hit Tony.

Steve's eyes met Tony's as he lay on the ground, brown eyes he'd never seen under the helmet's blue. They were determined, fixed in an expression that was a novelty on Tony, but Steve knew that look must have been hidden under the armor countless times. Steve threw his shield at Tony rather than the chair.

Tony caught it, rolling over just in time to block the axe with the shield. He brought up his other hand which Steve realized had a small repulsor attached to his palm. It shot Kang point blank, hitting Kang's belt and setting it off sparking and spreading over the rest of his suit in a small burst. Kang screamed and fell back on the ground, his body twitching.

Tony immediately stripped the repulsor from his palm, hissing in pain as the disk started to melt.

"Tony, are you-"

"Don't come any closer," Tony said as he got to his feet, shield held awkwardly in front of him.

Steve stopped in his tracks. He hadn't realized he'd been moving. "You're Iron Man," Steve said. This wasn't just Tony borrowing the suit. He'd performed maneuvers that Steve had taught Iron Man, and he was pretty sure a civilian wouldn't have the muscle memory to pull it off. He didn't know how to feel. Surprised, definitely. Angry at being lied to. Understanding for _why_ he'd been lied to. Awed that this man who had been dismissed by everyone had been saving them all along. Angry at himself for being one of those people when he should have known better, considering how often he'd been dismissed himself before the serum.

Whatever Tony had heard in his voice made his shoulders slump. "Yup," Tony said dully. "I am Iron Man. Fancy that. Just don't come any closer."

"Why?" Steve asked, not sure if he was asking why he had to stay back or why Tony had become Iron Man.

"He's faking," Tony said, answering the former, if not the one weighing heavier on Steve's mind. "He's not-"

Kang was on his feet. Without the Iron Man suit, Tony was quickly overpowered. Kang's suit was still sparking, but the man's face was pure rage as he gripped at Tony's unprotected throat. The shield dropped to the ground with a clatter.

"So, you have some knowledge of the future as well," Kang said, his voice haughty. "But you must also know that I always win."

Steve reacted, moving despite the ache of his body. He lurched forward, hitting Kang in the spine. Kang dropped Tony, pivoting to face Steve with murder in his eyes. But his suit was damaged, even Steve could see that, and without his high tech gadgets, Steve had the upper hand. He avoided a punch by dancing back, then landing on his hands to kick with his legs and push his momentum into a handstand. He landed on his feet, closer to the portal. He felt it more than saw it, sickness taking hold of him even as he fought to stay upright.

Kang charged after him, leading with a punch that was choreographed and easy to duck under. He grabbed Kang's arm as it swung at him, leveraging it on his shoulder and using Kang's weight to toss him over.

Kang was on his feet even as Steve turned, but Steve caught a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. He reached out and gripped the shield, bringing it in front of him as Kang managed another energy bolt. It ricocheted off, the force of it pushing Kang back.

Steve didn't think. Not about how close he was to the portal or about how he would destroy the world. He didn't think about what would happen if he got closer. But Iron Man's - _Tony's_ half-remembered screams from when Kang held him swallowed over Tony's current shouting for Steve to get back. Kang had hurt his best friend, had gone after the other Avengers's families. This ended now.

Pushing the shield up into Kang's chin, he followed through with a punch to his gut that sent Kang flying into the portal. The pulsing black circle grew wider at the intrusion, and Steve found himself stumbling forward, being pulled towards it despite how his body was repulsed by it. He had to... pull away...

He didn't fight the hands that were wrapping around his waist and pulling him back. Slowly he became aware of Tony yelling, "-reckless _asshole_ , do you know what happens if you go through there?!"

Steve was going to argue as soon as he got his breath back, but the portal started to spark angrily. It took his attention from how Tony was still tightly wrapped around him, his chest pressed against Steve's back. "Should we be worried about that?" Steve asked, glancing at the chair that was now flashing various lights.

Tony cursed, letting him go. "You had to push _him_ into the portal, didn't you? He had to have some sort of tech to keep him still in the time line, but that doesn't mean it still won't get messy without him."

Nodding, Steve rubbed his eye and grabbed Tony's hand. "We should probably run," he said, starting as he realized he was holding _Iron Man's_ hand. "We - Look out!"

Steve felt Tony push him down and he went with it, rolling to break their fall and keeping Tony on top of him to save him from the worst of the gravel. He hit the ground hard as a flash of electricity nearly blinded him and he blanked out for a moment when his head hit.

He came to, and it was the sort of silence that set Steve's hair on end. Not even the wind was whistling through the trees, which was unnerving. Tony wasn't moving on top of him, and Steve groaned, rubbing his head. His hand came back bloody, but Steve didn't think it was too serious.

His vision was spotty as he looked around, but he found the rock he landed on. With his arms around Tony, he pushed himself into a sitting position, hissing at the static shock that gave him. His shield was nearby, and once Tony was secure, he pulled it closer, feeling better for its proximity.

The portal and the chair were gone. The warehouse courtyard was still littered with robots, which Steve hadn't been expecting. He thought they would have gone with Kang. On a closer look, the chair was also still there, but it was in so many pieces that it looked like the robot guts strewn about.

Blinking to try clearing the haze that was falling over his thoughts, Steve shook his head. There was no immediate danger that he could see, so he'd deal with that later. "Tony?" he asked, looking down at the man in his arms.

Tony didn't respond, and Steve shifted him to get a better look. His heart nearly stopped. Tony wasn't breathing. He tried to touch Tony's chest but got another shock for his troubles, the white light that had been coming out of his shirt earlier now dark. Steve swallowed, pulling up Tony's shirt. He was shocked to find the same sort of arc reactor that powered Iron Man in Tony's _chest_.

Christ, how deep did it go? Was CPR even possible? However, he had other things to worry about. The reactor wasn't shining white like normal. It was the same black color as the portal, and its light gave Steve the same uneasiness as the portal did. It was somehow inside Tony's arc reactor, and he knew it wasn't good. He couldn't find a pulse, but Tony... Tony wasn't dead. He just had to get to someone who could fix this. Get rid of the black light and Tony would be fine.

Tony couldn't be dead.

Steve grabbed his shield, body protesting every movement as dizziness threatened to put him back down. He pushed through it, clipping the shield to his back and picking Tony up. He started to go back towards the outskirts of the warehouse as fast as his battered body would take him. Jane or Bruce, one of them had to know what to do to save Tony.

* * *

Steve was not particularly good with the word 'no'. He was fine saying it and did so with regular frequency to Clint and Thor's more wild ideas. It was hearing the word no that Steve had problems with, and only the security officer threatening to escort him off the premises stopped Steve from pestering the doctors for the nth time to go in and sit with Tony.

It was different than on the military base where Tony had presumably gotten special exemption with his connections and the blessings of Rhodes's family. Here, Steve couldn't wave around his rank when they couldn't even tell him if Tony had started breathing again. Tony was a high profile case, they told him. No information. It had been hours since they took Tony away from him and not a single word since then.

So he paced in the waiting room with his shield strapped to his back as his only comfort. He couldn't... Tony wasn't dead. The fact that the nurses avoided him didn't faze him, but people walking quickly past and ignoring his questions did. It left him more irritated, which he welcomed, because being angry didn't leave room for thinking about how Steve had never been able to find a pulse. Tony had never gone cold like the dead did, but he hadn't moved.

"Right this way, Iron Man, sir," Steve heard an awe-struck voice say. He whipped around to see the current model of the Iron Man suit walking in with a much more fluid, but still slightly jerky gait.

Steve narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Iron Man, may I have a word?"

Iron Man let out a small yelp that didn't sound very much like Iron Man at all. Steve felt foolish that he hadn't connected it with being someone else in the suit, and that could be potentially dangerous considering who was in it. Tony didn't need anyone stealing his suit. The embarrassment fueled his anger.

"I have to see-" 'Iron Man' started to say.

" _Now,_ " Steve growled, because no way in hell was he letting a fake Iron Man see Tony when he was hurt.

Iron Man turned to the nurse with a surprising amount of tact. "If you'll excuse me, this will only take a moment. Would you mind waiting?"

"Of course," the nurse said, taking one look at Iron Man and Steve before backing away.

Steve motioned for Iron Man to follow, inquiring at the desk for a room without any cameras. The relieved receptionist pointed them to a supply closet, happy that Steve wasn't asking yet again for information on Tony Stark.

Steve locked the door, looking around at the small space. Plenty of shelves and cleaning supplies, but as promised, no cameras. Unless it were bugged with SHIELD-level tech, they should be safe.

"What do you want?" Iron Man asked bluntly, arms crossed over his chest.

"Who the hell are you?" Steve asked.

"I'm sure I don't have to explain secret identities to you, Captain," Iron Man said. "I'm not going to-"

Steve pushed Iron Man against a shelf with his arm at Iron Man's neck. Not the most effective move with the armor, but it got whoever was in there to stop talking. "You are _not_ Iron Man," Steve growled. "I saw who was in the armor and you are definitely not him. You're not going anywhere until I get some answers."

Iron Man was silent, the glowing blue eyes of the face plate boring into him. Steve didn't let up, even though Iron Man could probably break out of the hold easily. Or would be able to, if he were actually Iron Man.

He was not expecting the face plate to flip up to reveal a very annoyed, very familiar freckled face. Steve stumbled back, his jaw dropping. "Pepper?" he asked, his head starting to swim. "Do all CEOs of Stark Industries wear the armor?"

"No," Pepper said. Then she paused. "Yes. I'm not Iron Man. But Obidiah had a suit too, so, maybe?"

"Why are you in the Iron Man suit?" Steve asked faintly, because he was going to have to rethink his opinions of CEOs and fighting now. He could only vaguely take in the cuts and bruises on her cheek, registering that she had seen some action, Iron Man or not.

"It's Tony's fault," Pepper replied. "Rhodey wasn't recovered enough and still needed protection, and Happy couldn't take on the robots by himself. And _he_ had to go fight elsewhere and it was loud and there were robots, and he only taught me fighting since there wasn't enough time so I didn't know how to actually _fly_ and there were _guns_. It was so violent."

"You should take a deep breath," Steve said mildly.

She did, then kept going. "And Tony owes me for this. I deserve chocolate and that expensive wine he hates. And a suit of my own. I can see why he keeps them, but I need one, and I want more guns. More guns than Rhodey's."

Steve didn't dare contradict her by mentioning that she'd just been complaining about it. First battles were a lot to take in. "Are you hurt?" he asked, not sure how else to react in this situation. Pepper was the one who always seemed put-together.

"No. I don't think so? JARVIS?" Pepper said, her voice rising at the end as she pushed a few wisps of hair behind her ear.

"You have several bruises and cuts, but are otherwise unharmed, Ms. Potts," JARVIS said, coming from the suit's speakers. "You performed quite admirably, and no one was hurt in the fight."

"Tony told you to say that," Pepper snapped. "I need-"

"Breathe," Steve reminded her.

"Right."

This time Pepper put more effort into calming down. "I don't know why I'm acting like this. I was fine before. I flew all the way here and I was fine. But now... Oh, my God."

"Sometimes it takes a while to set in," Steve said soothingly. "Tony wouldn't have let you go if he thought you'd be in danger."

Pepper nodded, then shook her head. "The AI interface to let JARVIS pilot the suits wasn't ready. So he... I got a crash course in training. Tony sent Happy there too, but robots can't really be hit with his fists."

"JARVIS said no one was hurt and you did well," Steve repeated.

"But Tony... Oh, God, Tony. They called me half-way here to say he was hurt. What happened? Is he okay?"

Steve looked down, taking his own advice and breathing. "He wasn't breathing. His arc reactor... the light was the same as the portal that opened, pitch black. But they haven't told me anything since we got here."

"Oh, Tony," Pepper said, her hands going up to her mouth, then she shook her head. She started to wipe at her eyes, then remembered the gauntlets. "They would have... If they were sure he was dead, they would have told me when they called. I'll fix things so that they'll talk to you and let you in. I had JARVIS sneak Iron Man on the list since I wanted to come right here, but I don't think that will work for you. I'll give them a call once I'm out of this and see what I can do for you and the other Avengers. I need to... I need to go see him first though."

Steve nodded. As much as he wanted to go in there with her, he could understand her need to see him first. It killed him a little that he didn't have that privilege. But it wasn't like Tony had really given him an answer before...

He wasn't dead. Steve focused on that.

"And don't go harrowing the nurses in the meantime. Don't think I didn't hear about that downstairs," she said as she walked to the door.

Steve's ears suddenly felt very hot. "You, ah, might want to put the face plate down before you go out," he said a little sheepishly.

"What? Oh!" Pepper said, reaching up to grab the face plate. It didn't come down. "I'm still not used to all of this... JARVIS, could you-?" The face plate slid down easily, and Steve was a little unnerved without the visual evidence that it was Pepper in the suit. "Thank you, JARVIS. Tony says it's easy when you're not thinking and it worked fine earlier, but now it's-"

"You're coming down from an emotional high. It gets easier," Steve offered.

"Okay," Pepper said. "I'm going to stop babbling and go see Tony."

Looking away, Steve wished more than anything that he could go with her. "I'll be around," he said finally.

"You should go home and take a shower first, maybe sleep a bit. I'll call if they tell me it's life-threatening," Pepper said, switching gears on the drop of a hat now that she was in control again. He could easily see why someone like Tony would have fallen so hard for her.

And seeing her put herself back together allowed him to do the same. "I think there's a saying about kettles, Ms. Potts," he said weakly, gesturing to the armor she hadn't gotten out of yet.

"Yes, but I'm officially allowed to be here," Pepper said, and he thought he could hear a smile in her voice. "And I have his company to run and can't stay forever, but I can stay until you get back."

Steve's shoulders slumped, but he nodded. She was putting her trust in him to watch over Tony while she couldn't be there after all. He could trust her to call if necessary too. "You've got a deal."

"He'll be okay," Pepper said before she left. "He has to be."

Steve stared at the door she left through, closing his eyes and not thinking about how Iron Man would have squeezed his shoulder or offered him a hug while saying something like that. "Time to go home," he said to himself. Except without the other Avengers or Iron Man... without _Tony_ , it really wasn't much of a home to go to.

* * *

When he was finally allowed to see Tony, Steve couldn't stop staring. Tony looked like he was sleeping, except for the sinister black light on his chest. Tony, who was Iron Man. His best friend. All those times, it had been Tony under the armor, risking his life.

Tony who had turned him down the first time.

Steve swallowed, moving to the chair the nurse pointed him towards and sitting down. He didn't take Tony's hand, though he studied the nicks and calluses on his fingers, because that was better than staring at Tony's unmoving chest. Frozen in time, the doctors said. Not dead, but unable to keep moving forward and living. A bit like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, but Steve doubted a kiss would wake Tony up. He didn't dare try.

It was still a shock. Steve hadn't had a lot of time to sit and think about it. All those times in the library, that had been _Tony_ listening to him. The man whose house they all lived in, whose millions they spent, fighting right along beside them the whole time. And _listening_ , hearing all those times Clint was pushing to get an answer, or when Steve was acting too judgmental, or just the team indulging in gossip on their downtime. He'd never once defended himself, just accepting the Avengers' words as truth.

He huffed out a breath, swallowing again, this time hard. Why hadn't Tony told them in the first place? Why hadn't Steve noticed how both Iron Man and Tony had the same mannerisms or reactions when they were hurt? Had he been that blinded by his crush? Had he misjudged Tony that much, even when Steve was so familiar with that kind of judgement himself?

"You were supposed to come in for debrief," Nick Fury said, and Steve did not jump at the sound of his voice. Really.

He would admit to the glaring though. "Only family is allowed in here, sir" he said mulishly.

"You think they'd tell me I can't go somewhere?" Fury said, raising his eyebrows. "Or that I'd give them a choice?"

"I'll give you my report later," Steve said resentfully, looking back at Tony.

"And I'm saying I need it now," Fury said, moving further into the room. He gestured to Tony's arc reactor in a way that raised Steve's hackles, though he couldn't pinpoint why. "Because that? I need to know about it."

"You really do not, sir," Steve said, stubbornly raising his chin. Pepper said that SHIELD knew about the reactor and thought that Tony's weak heart kept him from strenuous things. If only they knew.

"We can't start a search to find out how to help him if we don't know what happened," Fury said reasonably.

Steve hated it when people were reasonable.

"A time traveler from the future was trying to kill me, because he..." Steve faltered, shaking his head. "According to him, I'm responsible for destroying the world." Steve still didn't know what to make of that. Iron Man would know what to say to put him at ease, but he was...

"That so?" Fury said, pulling Steve out of his thoughts.

Steve nodded. "I know it's in the future, sir, but I'd appreciate it if you looked into it."

"I'll see what I can do," Fury said, drier than the Sahara.

Now came the hard part. Pepper had coached him on the cover story before she left, and the story was sound. He reminded himself of that as he started to recount it. "Kang - the time traveler - he uh, kidnapped Tony as a way to make me comply. He's been dividing up the Avengers to get me alone, but Tony used Kang's technology against him."

"And the Iron Man armor that was on site?" Fury asked.

"It was a shoddy AI interface Tony threw together since Iron Man was needed to protect Colonel Rhodes," Steve recited. "It didn't work very well and Tony was caught by the electricity of the portal after I pushed Kang in."

Fury stared at him, single brown eye giving away nothing of what he was thinking. Steve did his best not to fidget.

"It'll do," Fury said eventually. Steve let out a short breath of relief. He was getting away with it. "Sounds like Potts got to you first. I've seen her fingers on cover stories before. But keep that on paper, Rogers. You can't lie for shit."

Steve felt his cheeks burn. "You _knew_."

"I suspected," Fury reminded him. "I told you, it doesn't do SHIELD any good to know this, and it could do a lot of harm if they did with the internal politics."

"Then what was the point of this? Why come out here?" Steve demanded, lowering his voice at Fury's hushing motion. "Sir," he added as a softer, but still angry, afterthought.

"Wanted to make sure the story was solid before you told anyone," Fury replied. "Though I'd dearly love to know who was actually in Afghanistan with Rhodes, I'll figure that out later."

"Why didn't you tell me it was Tony?" Steve asked, some of his anger abating. One day Fury would figure out it was Pepper in the suit, and he would love to see the man's face when he realized it, but Steve was hopefully not going to be the one to tell him. He certainly wasn't going to offer up the information. Fury raised an eyebrow but didn't press further at Steve's change of subject.

"You think he'd have trusted you if you'd known?" Fury asked. Steve looked away. "You ain't subtle, Cap. The fact that Iron Man turned you down was pretty well known even to the Stark Industries cleaning staff."

Steve was going to look into sulking less obviously. "Respectfully, sir, that's none of your business."

"It is when I got two spies bitching about Captain America being passive-aggressive when he sulks," Fury replied. "I'd rather not know, but you have a habit of pissing off people in my social circle."

"Clint needed to work on his timing," Steve said.

"I'm sure his girlfriend appreciated it," Fury said, and it earned him a glare from Steve. "He'd have trusted you even less, Cap. And would you have bothered to get to know _Tony Stark_ , or just assumed you knew Iron Man?"

Steve really hated logic. That didn't mean he'd admit Fury was right though. His mouth was set in a fine line, watching Tony's motionless body under the black light of the reactor. It was unnerving, since he couldn't even reassure himself with Tony's chest moving up and down or listen to the steady beep of a heart monitor.

"What _did_ happen?" Fury asked.

"Tony knew it was coming," Steve said. "He decoded a message from the future with the help from Doom that-"

It hit Steve what Tony had been talking about, his eyes going wide as he looked at Tony's face. It was always so animated. He'd been so upset during their talk in the workshop, saying it was something too important for him to lose. He'd been willing to _die_ to save whatever it had been. And the fear in Tony's face when Steve had gotten too close to the portal...

"Captain?" Fury asked.

"It was me," Steve said, his voice breaking. "He said there was something he had to protect or else millions of people would die. He meant... He meant me." If Steve had gone into that portal, all he'd done to defeat Hydra would be erased from history. Was that really enough to put the time line off? Surely others would have fought in his place. But it was more than that. Tony had said he couldn't lose this time. It had been so important to him that he'd been working endlessly to...

Steve swallowed, the lump in his throat not yielding.

Fury gave him a moment to compose himself, watching Tony's still form with an unreadable expression. "So the bastard knew the whole time," Fury said finally. When Steve shot him a look of disbelief, Fury shrugged. "Yeah, I know. Pot, kettle. Still, I knew his trust issues ran deep, but this is on a different level. He didn't tell anyone, did he?"

"I think," Steve said, swallowing again. "I think he tried. He said something about it not working? The more people who knew, the more variables. The more things that could go wrong. Doom knew and Iron-" Steve cut off, remembering at the last second that they were the same. Tony really had been doing this all alone.

"Takes a while to get used to the notion, don't it? Keeping the circle small, that I can understand though. Pity having him at SHIELD wouldn't have worked," Fury said. He took Tony's wrist and pressed two fingers against where his pulse should be, then frowned. "That is creepy. The doctors are sure he's alive?"

"He's still warm," Steve said, focusing on that fact like it was a life line. "Time has stopped for him. Ms. Potts said the doctors consulted with Jane and Bruce, but there's no way to know how long it could take before we figure out how to start time up again for Tony. They'll probably move him back to the Tower this evening, since there's nothing they can do here. Even an IV doesn't work."

Exhaustion set in as Steve's eyes kept returning to the deathly still form of Tony Stark. His best friend in this century. His _home_. Steve wondered if even another seventy years of sleeping would cure that exhaustion. He didn't think it would.

Fury snorted. "Doubt a kiss would wake up the princess this time," he muttered, and Steve felt his ears burn at the implication, even though he'd been thinking the same thing earlier. Then Fury sighed. "I'll see if we can't track down Reed Richards to add him to our think tank. Take it easy, Cap. We'll figure this out. Until then, the world still needs you."

There was a soft sigh, and Steve spared a glance at Fury. The man looked as tired as Steve felt, but he wasn't looking at Steve. He was looking at Tony. Fury briefly touched Tony's shoulder, and Steve wondered how much he'd misjudged Fury too. He'd apparently been trying to protect Tony as much as Steve had.

Steve looked away as Fury left, slumping until he was resting his head in his arms, close to Tony on the bed, but not touching. He couldn't tell if the noise he made after that was a laugh or a sob, but Steve figured it might be a little of both.

Tony was frozen, and Steve couldn't do a damned thing. He couldn't help with the science, he couldn't punch time and expect it to start again. He couldn't even keep searching like Howard had all those years ago. "Hey, Shellhead," Steve said, his voice cracking. With no one there to hear, he didn't care. "We're gonna figure something out. I promise."

He just hoped it wouldn't be a seventy year wait.


	5. Chapter Five

The move back to the Tower went smoothly. Tony was moved to the penthouse which Pepper granted everyone access to, even if it was really only her and Steve at the moment.

Steve divided his time between preparing for a retcon mission to find Natasha and Clint and spending time in Tony's bedroom. It felt like he was intruding, being in such a personal space. But Pepper assured him it was okay, and aside from a few pictures here and there, Tony didn't have much in there that seemed overly personal. The whole room looked very modern with its curves instead of sharp lines, which Steve admired. It fit more with what he'd think of for Iron Man, not Tony Stark, though the sleek, modern look fit both of them.

Steve stopped hanging in the doorway, moving towards the chair Pepper set aside for visits. There were two of them, both red and very comfortable. Steve had fallen asleep in the one further from Tony last night, and that was the one he moved towards now, not sure of his welcome with the man who had both turned him down and kissed him good-bye.

But now he was set to leave in two hours. He was already in full uniform, but he wanted to spend a bit more time with Tony before he left. He never really spoke that much, since it wasn't like Tony was in a coma and might be able to hear him, and he wasn't much of a talker to begin with. But the thought of Tony being by himself for so long...

He'd been alone in the ice, even if he didn't remember it. He didn't want anyone else to go through that.

He usually brought his sketch book with him, but this time he just sat and watched. He hated seeing Tony so still. He never got used to it, and he couldn't bring himself to take Tony's hand either. Pepper did when she was here, but every time Steve tried, guilt took over before he closed the distance to Tony's hand. There were too many questions about where he stood with Tony to do it.

The black light cast an eerie glow over Tony's body. Iron Man's arc reactor was usually white, a light that was almost like a beacon for Steve. Something to call him home. But the black light was dark and terrible, with none of the warmth of the reactor. The doctors had tried to change it, but it wouldn't come undone. Tony was frozen in time and still as death, and he was like this because he'd been trying to protect Steve. Not just when he'd been hurt either, but this whole time...

He heard the door open, but didn't turn to look. It was a bit early for Pepper to come, but she sometimes checked in between meetings when she had the chance. He wasn't expecting a male voice, and he reached for his shield automatically before forcing himself to relax. Only authorized people could get past JARVIS to this room.

"Do you often sit there in uniform, or is this a special occasion?" the voice asked.

"Special occasion," Steve replied looking up to see-

He scrambled to his feet, saluting. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize-"

"At ease, soldier," Rhodes said, doing the best approximation of a return salute as he could while heavily leaning on a cane. "Though you can keep saluting if you want. Not every day you get a salute from Captain America."

His smile was wide and just a little smug, but even though he was in a different branch, Steve could grant him that smugness without resent considering he was a good friend of Tony's. "I'd return it properly if I could, but I'm still getting the walking thing down again," he said, wincing as he leaned more on the cane. He looked pale under his dark skin, and Steve pulled out the chair closer to Tony to give Rhodes an easier access. "Thanks," he said with a small grunt, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes as he set the cane to the side.

"Should you be out of bed?" Steve asked, willing to place even odds that he shouldn't.

"Not really," Rhodes confirmed. "But I figured if I had to be stuck in bed, I might as well have a roomie. Seems like he'd be quieter this time around. I might even get some sleep," Rhodes said, but the sad smile on his face told Steve how much he hated that thought. "Though I'd give anything for him to pester me until the sun came up like he used to at MIT."

Steve looked away, not quite able to meet the colonel's gaze. It was his fault Tony was like this, after all. "The silence is unnerving from him," Steve agreed.

"Jim Rhodes," Rhodes said after a moment, holding out his hand. Steve took it, not feeling particularly worthy of it at the moment but not wanting to offend. "Though I'm told we've already met."

"Steve Rogers," he said, still not meeting Rhodes's eyes like he knew he should. "Yes, sir. I went with Tony on his trip to Afghanistan."

"That is _not_ how I heard it," Rhodey said with a laugh. "And as awesome as it is to be called 'sir' by Captain America - and trust me, I was a big fan as a kid - Steve Rogers can get rid of the formalities. Jim or Rhodey both work."

"I think I've heard about you as 'Rhodey' too much to call you Jim," Steve admitted.

"Then Rhodey it is," Rhodey said, then gestured to Steve's uniform. "What's the special occasion?"

"I'm heading out in an hour or two to try and find intel on Clint and Natasha," he said, pulling at the neck of the uniform. He had the cowl down since he was still in the Tower, and a few minutes ago that was comfortable. But now he couldn't hide his nerves behind it and his Captain America persona, and he wasn't entirely sure how to talk to this man. Rhodey was a superior officer, but also one of Tony's closest friends. There was a middle ground out there somewhere, but Steve would probably stumble a lot trying to find it. "I wanted to sit with him a while before I left. I don't know when I'll be back."

Rhodey nodded. "Life never stops when we want it to."

"It only stops when you don't want it to," Steve said, his voice slightly choked.

"Guess that's true," Rhodey said quietly, realizing he'd touched on something deeper. "I heard you found out about Iron Man."

Steve sighed, closing his eyes. "How many people know?" he asked, reminding himself not to feel bitter or jealous.

"Me, Pepper, and Happy," Rhodey said, not commenting if any of Steve's bitterness came through. "We all knew before it was a secret. I don't think Tony ever wanted it to be one, to be honest. It was pretty much up for anyone who walked into the workshop to see."

"What changed?" Steve asked curiously.

"Agent Coulson," Rhodey said, his voice strained. "Don't get me wrong. I don't like to speak ill of the dead, and he did a lot to protect Tony. He didn't even tell SHIELD. But that press conference was a mistake, and we all knew it. He wouldn't listen to us and only realized after Tony woke up and heard the news. I've never quite forgiven the man for that."

That must have been the mistake Fury wanted him to correct, Steve realized. The one Phil regretted. "I don't understand. Why did that turn out to be such a bad thing?"

"I assume you've realized Tony has trust issues," Rhodey said dryly.

"Hard to miss," Steve replied.

"Man, you don't know the half of it," Rhodey said. "Thing is, he gets proven right more often than not and is significantly more prone to meeting and trusting the wrong people than anyone I've ever met. It's caused him to come off as arrogant and self-assured just to protect himself."

"But he's not," Steve finished for him. "I don't think he ever understood that I wasn't there for any reason other than to be friends with him."

"Exactly," Rhodey said. "And _Stane_ -" The name was spat out with a viciousness that surprised Steve. "He didn't help. None of us realized the rat bastard was the one who was double-dealing."

"He was the one who got Tony caught in Afghanistan," Steve said, thinking back to Tony's file.

"And the guy who stepped up as a father figure when Tony's parents died," Rhodey continued. "Tony was... He was always a bit funny, when Stane was around, but now... Pepper and I sometimes wonder if Stane was keeping Tony down. Nothing really overt, but little things that were harder to see and that add up over time."

Steve pressed his lips into a firm line as he got his temper under control. Hindsight, his mind supplied. It didn't mean Rhodey or the others could have seen it before and done something. Getting angry at them now when they'd all been betrayed by someone they trusted wouldn't help. Neither would being angry at a dead man who sounded like he was emotionally abusive at the very _least_ , though that was a better outlet.

It did make him want to stop by the gym before he got on the plane, if he wanted to get rid of the excess anger.

"Tony was wounded in the fight, and he was out of it for the press conference Coulson had to give. He went online, once we gave him a tablet, to see the reactions," Rhodey said, quieter. "In the same article, people would call Tony Stark the Merchant of Death and claim he's backsliding to his old ways while praising Iron Man's heroics. He didn't want a good thing to be put through the mud just because of his name."

Steve wondered how many times Tony just wanted a bit of positive attention growing up. From the files, he hadn't gotten a lot of it from his father. Or apparently his surrogate father. To be considered a good guy for once in his life, he could see the appeal. Iron Man was someone people _liked_ , and Steve related to that far more than he really wanted to admit. The serum had been his way of changing how people viewed him too. "So he became Iron Man," he said.

"And once he got a dose of people applauding him - really, genuinely meaning the praise, he couldn't stop. Because the moment people found out, that would be gone," Rhodey said sadly.

"But the Avengers-"

"Steve, trust me. It ain't you," Rhodey said. "He's happy with the Avengers, happier than I've seen him in a long time, and he trusts you guys with his life."

"Just not with his identity," Steve said, not sure if he wanted to be angry or sad.

"It's not that simple," Rhodey said. "You guys got to know Iron Man, but would you really have accepted Tony Stark into your group? Honestly?"

Steve wanted to say yes. That of course they would have. But if Steve hadn't overheard Rhodey and Tony talking and been determined to stick with Tony because of that, would they have really? Or would Tony just have been the odd, insensitive and slightly reprehensible man who gave money and equipment to the Avengers? Steve definitely would have preferred having Iron Man around than being polite to the rich son of a dead friend. It had been his own feelings that morning that had driven Steve's promise, thinking of how Iron Man always listened but never defended the man who made the suit. The one who'd been in it all along. Steve swallowed, his stomach clenching into knots. This whole situation was a mess.

"You've had to have noticed by now if you've been talking to him as much as Pepper says you have. Tony might be a mess, but Iron Man isn't," Rhodey said. "Iron Man is someone who doesn't have Tony's trust issues. Someone who can be open and friendly. Someone he can pretend to be. And maybe that's really Tony underneath everything, but it's not how he can act the way he is now. It's going to be a long time before he can act like that normally. And what if you guys didn't stick with him that long?"

Rubbing at his forehead, Steve sighed. "Right under our noses the whole time," he muttered. "We weren't acting very friendly towards him either."

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Steve looked up to see a small smile on Rhodey's face. "You're not the only one at fault, Steve. God knows Tony doesn't make it easy on himself, and he never took a chance. I'm willing to bet he hurt you a lot in the process of getting to know him as well, since I hear you don't always let things go when he asks."

"He has been trying though," Steve said, not wanting to think too long on some of the things Tony had said while he'd been trying to push Steve away. Their arrangement had never actually been discussed, but when Tony lashed out, he did his best to stop when Steve told him. He apologized and tried to do better. Steve got the impression that usually Tony tried to keep to himself when he was in that mood, and Rhodey had a point about Steve sometimes pushing that too far instead of respecting Tony's boundaries, but...

That night in the penthouse. That had been after Tony had presumably heard the message from his future self. He'd been almost in tears at just the sight of Steve. Was that him pushing Steve away or wanting to see Steve one last time? He could have - probably would have - sent down a message telling Steve to come back another time before that. But he didn't.

"And did he come to you or did you go to him?" Rhodey asked shrewdly, though there was a melancholy fondness about his eyes as he looked down at Tony.

"I went to him," Steve said, seeing Rhodey's point. "He deserved better than we were treating him, even if he hasn't been easy to deal with. It wasn't like he didn't overhear us discussing the gossip rags often enough and we never showed him we were worth taking the chance on."

"We can only move forward," Rhodey said. He reached over and took Tony's hand, eyes growing wet. Steve bit down his envy. There was no reason he couldn't have taken Tony's hand earlier, other than his own guilt stopping him. "We can only hope that things will move forward again for him too."

They sat in silence for a while after that as Rhodey grieved and wrestled back control over his emotions. Steve didn't say anything, though he felt like he should offer some kind of comfort. He didn't know what to say though, and any words he tried fell unspoken, too much for his thick tongue to navigate. Iron Man was... _Tony_ was always the one who knew the right thing to say, even when he said he didn't.

"Have you told the rest of the team about who he is?" Rhodey asked finally, his voice a little stronger.

"We've been so scattered recently that I've only had a few quick conversations to check in with Thor and Bruce," Steve said, pushing his worry over Clint and Natasha's silence aside. He was going to finally do something about finding them now that Fury was turning a blind eye. They'd both been gone too long for everyone's comfort now. "It's not my secret to tell. I didn't tell him, but Fury knows. I think he known for a while now and hasn't seen a need to kick up a fuss."

"Thank God for small mercies," Rhodey said. "Tony would hate it for SHIELD to know after everything that's happened. I can't say I'm all that comfortable with the idea myself, but if Fury's kept the secret this long, I guess we can keep trusting him. Thanks for keeping quiet to the rest of the team. Tony needs to tell them himself that he's Iron Man."

"So the underling was, in fact, the master."

This time Steve did grab his shield from his back, the chair toppling over as he faced the man. Rhodey also stood, his cane in front of him as if to attack rather than to lean on it. That was a voice that definitely did not belong in the Tower.

Victor Von Doom stepped further into the room, green cape flowing behind him despite the lack of wind, the metal glint of his armor more threatening than Iron Man's red and gold. Steve acutely missed Iron Man's voice in his ear complaining about how much he hated magic.

"JARVIS, call-"

"Do not bother with Mr. Stark's annoying AI," Doom said. "I have disabled him for the time being."

"That won't stop us from giving you a thrashing," Steve said, though the odds were very much not in their favor. Doom was a tough enemy even with the other Avengers for backup, and Rhodey was still recovering. He could see the tremor in Rhodey's frame as he forced himself to stand without the cane's aid.

"Doom does not take threats kindly," Doom said, his voice rising in anger. Then it softened again to a more thoughtful tone. "But I did not come for a fight."

"Yeah? What did you come for then, eavesdropping?" Rhodey asked. "Stooping to spying on your enemies yourself? Seems a bit below you."

"I am upholding my side of the bargain," Doom said sharply. "Doom is a man of his word, and Iron Man has fulfilled his role. I would not be in his debt."

Steve lowered his shield, but didn't put it away. "And what deal was that? You still have Romanov and Barton held-"

"The spies have been released," Doom interrupted. "Though they would not accept my offer of transport, so they will take longer to arrive. They have been treated better than Fury's spies deserve."

Steve was loathe to trust the word of a super-villain, but something told him Doom wasn't lying. Even Rhodey lowered the cane, leaning on it heavily now that he wasn't preparing for a brawl. "If you're not here to fight, why are you here?"

"Iron Man came to me with a proposition that I assumed was from Mr. Stark. Doom will not suffer another tyrant to mimic his technology, especially not one from the future. I agreed to help decode his message as I have previously dabbled in time travel. After the message was decoded..." Doom said, his cold eyes falling on Steve. "I have no love for you, Captain. But a world overrun by Hydra would make Latveria a very small footnote in German history."

Rhodey looked at Steve, questions in his eyes, then back to Doom when Steve couldn't quite get over his self-recrimination enough to answer. "What's this message you're going on about?"

"Observe," Doom said.

Steve brought his shield up again as Doom's hand went to the controls on his wrist, but only a projection shot out. It was Tony.

He heard Rhodey take a sharp breath, and Steve swallowed hard. Tony looked _terrible_. His eyes were bruised and there were myriads of cuts and tears in what must have once been a good suit. His arm was in a sling and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

"Hello, me," Projection Tony said, his voice dull and hollow.

"Christ," Rhodey swore.

"You're seeing this because you're Number Nine," Tony continued. "That's right. You've failed eight times. Look around."

Tony gestured and the camera panned to a broken window. Outside was New York, but not New York as Steve remembered it. It was a wasteland of destroyed and abandoned buildings that were only half recognizable, obscured with a haze that covered the sky so that no light shone through. Steve's eyes prickled at the sight of his beloved home in ruins, a lost and forgotten city left for the dead and dying.

"This is what happened when Hydra dropped a bomb on New York," Tony said as the camera continued to show the view outside. "This is a timeline without Captain America. No one even knows he existed once, and only watching him become erased saved him in our memory. Hydra currently rules a large portion of the globe. There are resistance fighters, of course, but they've been fighting for generations now without any clear victories. They're worn down and I can't help them. But I can fix this. I can put the timeline back to the way it's supposed to be."

The camera turned back to the inside of the destroyed building, and Steve felt like he could breathe again. New York had never looked that deserted before. His mouth was too dry to swallow.

Of course, now they could all see the machine Tony had been making, looking just as new and shiny among the rubble as he had seen it the day Kang attacked. It was like it hadn't gotten the memo to be run-down like everything else. Tony coughed, but continued talking. "And this is the machine that will do it. You'll find the blueprints of it in the text being sent with this message. We worked it out the first time ourselves using the late Dr. Foster's notes. It took years for Tony One to gather the materials. The second time around was easier. We figured out a way for the machine to survive the time shift, along with some stolen tech from Kang's chair to keep Tony Stark from disappearing from the time line when we go in. It'll still kill us, but the time line won't be altered so that we don't exist. Won't keep us _alive_ , but there's only so much I can do by myself. It's not important anyway."

Steve was chilled, thinking of the Battle of New York. Tony was Iron Man, and without Iron Man, the city would have been destroyed by the WSC. Trust Tony to figure out how to do that instead of how to survive.

The camera went back to Tony, who was leaning against the wall, pale and fragile-looking. "Kang... He came from the future to kill Steve. He thought Steve would destroy the world during the Skrull invasion, but neither the Skrulls nor the Kree stood a chance against his technology. He'll come to kill Steve, and he will succeed. He has succeeded."

Tony's voice broke on that and Steve took a step forward to - he didn't know. Put a hand on Tony's shoulder? But his hand passed through the hologram like a ghost and Steve stumbled back.

"So here is your warning, me Number Nine," Tony said. "Who knows what will happen if Steve lives. I've never been around to figure that out. But now that we know it's coming, we can prepare for the Skrulls and the Kree. It won't happen like Kang says. But we... Fuck, we've failed so many times. I don't know if we can change it. But you can at least bring him back into the time stream alive if you do it right. I..."

The hologram Tony closed his eyes as they became glossy. "I'm pulling out a corpse. Whatever you do, _do not tell him_. Too many people knowing and too many variables always cause us to fail, but him knowing..." Tony chuckled darkly. "A few of the other mes managed to keep Steve alive when he was pushed through the portal. They didn't tell him anything, though they told other people. Their Steve is still alive. Mine isn't."

Tony coughed again, and Steve caught a few specks of red in his hand before it was hidden from view. "The serum should counteract the Tachyon particles from decaying Steve's body at an accelerated rate. We're not sure how, but it works. If he is erased while alive, there's a chance to save him. That's more than I have, because I fucked up worse."

Tony in the hologram stepped closer to the machine. "Well, we all know how this goes. The world needs Captain America more than it needs Tony Stark. There's no Iron Man in this time line. Nothing but my failures to mark my death, so it's not much of a loss to get Steve back. The only reason I remember him at all is because we are always at ground zero when he goes in. But there's no one else left."

He laughed again, high and bitter with a touch of hysteria. "And even now I'm terrified of doing it. What kind of coward does that make me, huh? I never was much of a hero. All I wanted to do was fix my mistakes, but I just fuck things up more."

It wasn't fair. Steve blinked back a strange pin-needle feeling in his eyes. It wasn't Tony's fault. From the sound of it, Steve himself had probably done something reckless once he found out, if the only times that Steve ended up dead were the ones where he'd been told. But Tony was blaming himself, not Steve. Tony was dying because Steve hadn't fought well enough, because the serum hadn't been enough. It was no different from Bucky, and the familiar feeling of helplessness welled up as he watched this future version of Tony Stark step up where Steve had failed.

Tony was terrified, but he was killing himself to save the world despite that. There was an Iron Man in that time line, even if Tony didn't see it.

"The frequency to find Steve in the time vortex is through his shield," Tony continued. "I've attached that and as much information on Kang as we could find. The video of my fight and transcripts of the other fights are all there too, so have fun analyzing how we all screw up. Mostly, this is all just to save time if you fail. Give us less time to make things worse, like we always do. I wish there was more advice I could give you, but every time line has been so different that it's hard to tell where-"

Tony lilted to the side, coughing again. "Sorry," he said, a bit of blood smeared on his goatee. "The radiation here is still off the charts. Hydra bombs over-performed. I don't have much time left. Just - tell no one. Don't tell Pepper, don't tell Rhodey. Don't tell Natasha or the other Avengers. And for fuck's sake, _do not tell Steve no matter what happens._ "

Tony walked over to the machine, putting his hand against it to steady himself. "I'm really doing this, aren't I? I... don't know if this video will help, but I'm sorry. I tried. I fucking tried so hard. And I failed. Every time, I survive even when no one else does, and that's my fault."

Tony stood there breathing. Steve could hardly find his own air, almost unable to look. But he forced himself not to miss Tony's last moments. He owed Tony that much. "Steve," Tony said, his voice on the hologram almost too low to hear. "I... never mind. It doesn't matter now. No one else is going to die because of me. I'm sorry. Camera off."

The image flickered out of existence and Steve stared at where it had been, feeling numb to the world. He didn't cry. He felt like he should, but he packed it away, pushing down his grief because he couldn't handle it.

Rhodey, on the other hand, turned away and threw his cane at the wall in an explosion of anger. "God damn it, Tony," he said, his shoulders shaking. Steve could see his hands curling into fists as his head bowed.

"He is a sentimental fool," Doom said, continuing before either Steve or Rhodey could redirect their anger at him. "But a noble one. It was an honorable sacrifice."

"We just watched my best friend kill himself to spare the world, and that's all you can say? And you were just going to let him-" Rhodey said, pivoting around and walking towards Doom. Steve barely managed to keep him from falling over with his cane forgotten and his legs still not able to hold him.

He lowered them both to the ground gently, kneeling beside Rhodey. Rhodey punched the floor and Steve looked away. Rhodey had known Tony for much longer than Steve had, and he deserved privacy for his grief.

Steve glared at Doom instead, pushing away his own numbness for later. "Is that why you came here? To show us that?"

"You mistake Doom's words for petty condolences. My family suffered under German rule and I know better than you what horrors Hydra planned," Doom said. "And I have come to fulfill my side of our bargain, so you would do well to respect my words."

Rhodey tried to push himself up and Steve helped him back to the chair. He seemed more composed now, though the look he gave Tony's still form spoke of fresh grief. "And what's that deal?" Steve asked, hesitating between retrieving the cane or staying between Doom and his friends.

Steve decided on the latter when Doom started to walk towards the bed, because they were far too vulnerable to trust a super-villain right now. Doom stopped as Steve planted his feet, keeping himself between Doom and the bed, his chin stubbornly set even if it meant taking his eyes from Tony.

Doom did not look pleased under his mask, but he did not keep moving. "There were several other designs along with the machine Mr. Stark was building. I was focusing on some of the others, including a few of the more time-sensitive items. One of which was designed to restart time for him, as presumably this has set him back in previous tries."

He held up a small device that didn't look like much. Steve felt like time had stopped for him as well just looking at it. If what Doom was saying were true, this could save Tony! His moment of shock having passed, he reached out for it, but Doom held it back. "You-"

"Doom is here because he is a man of honor, Captain," Doom said. "But Mr. Stark has kept from me his secret, playing me for a fool while pretending to be an underling. You would do well to remember my anger."

"And it's a secret you're going to keep," Rhodey said.

Steve looked back to see Rhodey gripping the sides of the chair, eyes red, but angry.

"And why would I do such a thing?" Doom asked. "That was not part of the pact."

"It is now," Rhodey said, smiling grimly. "Because I can guess at some of Tony's terms in this deal, and I think a lot of them still apply, don't they? If the US government were to find out Doombots are behind all of this, I don't think they'd take too kindly to it."

"I would watch your tone when speaking to Doom. I do not tolerate threats," Doom replied, his eyes narrowed.

"It's not a threat," Rhodey replied. "It's a fact. SHIELD has been keeping quiet about who was attacking at Iron Man's request. And I don't think you want a government sanctioned Avengers attack on Latveria because Doombots have been attacking military bases."

"Do not think I will forget this," Doom said, his voice hard and cold as his metal suit. "But his secret is safe for now. I have come only to honor my agreement. It is well that he succeeded in his task finally."

Doom walked forward again, only stopping when Steve didn't move out of the way. It went against everything in Steve's being to let Doom closer to Tony. He held out his hand for the device, which Doom looked at in disdain.

"I will not put my technology in the hands of one so incompetent," Doom said.

"Let him, Steve," Rhodey said, exhaustion showing in his voice. "I think he means it."

Steve tightened his grip on his shield and held out a few seconds longer. Then he stepped aside, but kept his shield ready if Doom should go back on his word. Doom walked forward, placing the device on Tony's arc reactor. He saw Rhodey grip the sides of his chair and it got Steve's hackles up as well, seeing someone so close to the reactor. He hadn't even known it was in Tony's chest before the fight with Kang, but now he wanted to keep anyone from touching it.

Doom drew back enough to fiddle with the controls on his wrists and the device on the reactor grew small legs, clamping down on Tony's chest. The device let out a white glow, humming softly as it worked. It's light's color faded to grey, then darkened with every passing moment. Soon it almost had the same dark glow of the portal and Steve shivered in the memory of it.

A gasp drew Steve's eyes away from the reactor to Tony's face. Brown eyes were now wide open, and Tony's chest started to rise and fall. Relief hit him so hard that Steve's knees felt weak, and he leaned into the chair to keep up right.

Tony knocked off the now black device and looked around. "Did it work?" he asked frantically, until his eyes landed on Steve.

Steve's mouth opened, but he couldn't say anything. There was too much in the way. Anger, joy, relief, grief, and sorrow all battled to have the first word, but nerves kept him silent.

Tony sighed, relaxing but not meeting Steve's eyes anymore. He gave Rhodey a smile, though it wasn't the blinding one Steve had seen Tony give when Rhodey had first woken up. Then he looked over to Doom.

"You finally succeeded, Iron Man," Doom said.

Tony tensed, but he didn't seem all that upset or surprised. "Thanks for the help. I assume I also have you to thank for _this_ , Doom and Gloom,” Tony said, gesturing vaguely to the black-lit device.

"You retain your insolence," Doom growled. "I have done my part. This alliance has ended." Doom turned, his cape flowing dramatically behind him as he left the room.

"Should I follow him?" Steve asked, his brain finally finding words.

"Nah, he's surprisingly good for his word considering he's an evil dictator, so - oof. Hey, hey!"

Steve spun around, his heart rate spiking. It was fortunately only Rhodey pulling Tony into a half-head-lock, half hug. "Man, you have some explaining to do. I take one little nap and you go off the deep end. What did I tell you about going off the deep end without me?"

"It's not my fault that you got your lame-ass handed to you by wannabe Doombots," Tony said, huffing slightly even as he melted against Rhodey's side.

"Yeah? And what's this about you saving the world by _dying_?" Rhodey asked angrily.

Tony winced. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"Tony..." Rhodey let go enough for a proper hug as Tony leaned his head against Rhodey's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Sorry," Tony whispered, and Rhodey hugged him a little tighter.

Steve felt like he was intruding. With Doom gone, at least he could pick up Rhodey's cane. He moved quietly around the bed, ignoring the soft reassurances drifting over from the two of them. If Tony had been carrying all of that on his shoulders for so long, he probably needed the comfort.

When he looked back, Rhodey was lying on the bed with Tony snuggled up to him. He nodded his thanks to Steve, rubbing Tony's back as the other man hid his face in Rhodey's shoulder.

Smiling at Rhodey's unspoken question, Steve motioned that he would be alright. He left then, letting them have a moment. He closed the door and leaned against it, closing his eyes. Tony was okay.

Tony was Iron Man.

He stayed like that for a long while, not sure if he was guarding the door or if he couldn't bear to go too far. He tried to sort through the mess in his head, but the more Steve tried, the more confusing it got.

Rubbing his forehead, Steve huffed out a soft laugh. When had either Tony Stark or Iron Man ever made things easy on him?

He sighed and pushed off the door. Maybe a trip to the gym would help clear -

A small shriek sent him barreling towards the living room of the penthouse, alarmed to feel _wind_ inside the Tower. As he entered, Thor was standing with his hammer ready with a very short woman at his side.

"Captain, what battle was fought here?" Thor demanded. "Is it too late or can we yet join the fight?"

"I..." Steve said, staring at the giant hole in the wall. "It's news to me too."

There was a soft whirling sound of a projector; the security footage popped up on the wall. "JARVIS, it's good to have you back," Steve said.

"No, JARVIS is still offline in the Tower," the woman said, looking at her phone. "He's the one who called us and said there was trouble. But I think he's connecting through my phone - he said it should only be a matter of time before he's back."

"Indeed, Dr. Foster," JARVIS said, his voice small and tinny through the phone's speakers. JARVIS was a part of the team like the others, and it relieved something inside of Steve to hear his voice again. "While most of the Tower is blocking me off, I am quickly regaining control. If you'll watch the screen, you should see the cause."

At first, nothing happened. It was just a picture of the wall as it had been, unmoving and uninteresting. But a few seconds later, Doctor Doom blew a hole through the wall, his jet packs powering off as he stepped through it and walked down the hall, cape flowing dramatically behind him.

"Let it not be said Gloom can't make an entrance. He's gone though, so you guys can stand down or whatever," Tony said. Steve looked over to see both him and Rhodey entering the room. Tony looked almost as if nothing had even happened. He was bruised and had a few scars from the battle with Kang that hadn't healed, but it was like the past four days hadn't happened. They _literally_ hadn't, Steve realized with a start. Not for Tony, at any rate.

"You!" the woman - Dr. Foster - cried out, marching right up to a surprised Tony. Rhodey wisely stepped aside to make way for her, because while Dr. Foster was small, she moved like a very self-contained hurricane on a war path.

"Dr. Foster," Tony said, glaring at Rhodey's abandonment. Rhodey held his free hand up in a gesture of 'not touching this.' "Welcome to New Yo-"

"You made a portal without me!" she said, pushing him in the chest, none too gently by the look on Tony's face as he stepped back. "'Join me in science,' he said. Then you stole my work and-"

"In my defense, you were dead when the future me designed it," Tony said.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Dr. Foster said, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And if you had just talked to me, I could have given you some theories on how to create a stabilizer so that it wouldn't kill you!"

Tony's eyes widened, then he laughed and shook his head. "I'll keep that in mind if I have to change the future in secret again next time. So you-"

"You have to reverse the flow of the Tachyon particles," Jane said, showing her phone to Tony.

"But if you did that, the opposite would-"

"Not if you neutralize it with-"

They were both talking over each other, growing more excited as terms Steve wasn't familiar with started being tossed around too rapidly for him to even try to make sense of it. Thor was grinning broadly as he came up behind Dr. Foster, looking fondly at both her and Tony. Neither of them knew Tony was Iron Man, and Steve could see when Tony realized that, his scientific explanation faltering even as Rhodes bumped his shoulder with a gentle smile on his face that didn't quite say 'I told you so,' but it was close.

Dr. Foster used that opportunity to stand on her toes and throw her arms around Tony's neck. "Don't scare us like that again," she said, hugging him tightly.

Tony looked around, meeting Thor's eyes as the Asgardian clapped him on the back. "Though you are a great puzzle, Tony Stark, Midgard would be a much lonelier place without you," Thor said.

Tony went still and for one horrible second, Steve was almost sure he was frozen again. But then he hugged Jane back, closing his eyes and drawing a sharp breath.

Steve wasn't part of the group. He could be, but he still didn't know what he wanted to say to Tony. He slipped away to the elevator, going down to the Avengers' common area to change. He ended up grabbing his sketchbook instead of his gym bag and wound up at the door to Tony's workshop. He needed to be on the plane to Latveria just in case Doom was lying, but part of him didn't want to leave the Tower now that Tony was awake. Doom had said Natasha and Clint had been let go, and while he didn't trust Doom that much, he should at least give them some time to contact him so as not to antagonize Doom further if he were telling the truth.

He hadn't been planning on coming down to the workshop, certainly not without Tony in it, but it was a place where both Tony and Iron Man coexisted. Tony made the armor in the workshop. He might have only seen Tony down here, but he'd always assumed Iron Man also hung around. He never realized how right he'd been.

The glass still had the cracked spider's web that he'd put there, along with several small pieces of glass littering the floor and the hole he'd created. Steve flushed as the guilt crept up. He hadn't exactly been thinking clearly after he'd heard Tony was going to kill himself. Then he flushed for an entirely different reason as he remembered the kisses they'd shared.

He'd always wanted to know what kissing Iron Man would be like. Now he knew.

"JARVIS?" he asked, unsure if the AI was still working to regain control of the Tower.

"How can I help you, Captain?" JARVIS asked.

"Welcome back," Steve said, smiling in spite of himself. JARVIS was the reason he could keep tabs on a team that wasn't always the best at checking in. It was hard to imagine going back to a time without him.

"Thank you," JARVIS said, a warmth in his voice Steve had only ever heard directed at Iron Man. At Tony. "I must apologize for my inability to warn everyone about Dr. Doom's arrival."

"It wasn't your fault, JARVIS," Steve said, looking once again at the door and biting his lip. "Is it alright for me to go in?"

JARVIS didn't answer right away, and Steve waited patiently. "Mr. Stark wishes to inquire if you are down there to destroy the machine?"

"I..." He hadn't thought about that, but now that he had, the thought was very, very tempting. But truthfully Steve wasn't really sure why he had come down here.

"Dr. Foster also wishes to relay that if you touch it before she has the chance to examine it, she will do some rather undesirable things."

Steve was pretty sure that was _not_ how she said that, but he got the picture. "I won't touch it," he promised duly. "I just... want to sit for a little bit and think."

The door slid open and he took that for a 'permission granted.' Steve entered. It hadn't changed at all since the last time he'd been here. Even the first aid kit was still left out, since Tony had probably rushed out after Steve in the Iron Man suit. The two metal claws were off to the side, and they moved briefly before returning to their previous positions, like Steve wasn't worth getting up over. The machine was over in the corner, and Steve's hand tightened around the sketchbook, but he didn't go near it and risk temptation. Instead he looked for a place to sit. There were a few rolly chairs at the desk, but Steve didn't move towards them or the small couch.

"JARVIS..."

"Yes, Captain?"

Steve took a deep breath. "Can I see the Iron Man suits?" He knew Tony had more than one. He needed to see it again.

This time there was no hesitation. The wall started to move, uncovering a row of Iron Man armors behind glass displays. Steve recognized a few of them, including the one he had fought along side of for the Battle of New York. It had been restored to a better condition, no longer banged up and dented and now with a full paint job. He walked over to it, fingers tracing along the words Mark VIII.

The face plate stared at him, dark and haunting with none of the life Steve was used to associating with Iron Man. Without Tony, it was just a suit of armor. Tony was the heart of Iron Man all along, not the reactor.

Steve tried to picture Iron Man with the face plate up and Tony's face underneath. In the park he'd been so close to seeing that. All he'd have had to do was turn around while Tony had been eating. And to think a billionaire was sitting alone like that all of those times. It wasn't quite something he could picture for Tony Stark. But maybe for just _Tony_ , he was starting to see. He closed his eyes, imagining Iron Man's gauntlet around his waist, but Tony's lips pressing against his and demanding his attention.

Swallowing hard, Steve pushed that particular mental image away because he was pretty sure Tony had cameras down here. He looked around one more time before settling between two of the display cases and sitting cross-legged on the floor. He flipped over his sketchbook, turning to a new page. A blank slate? Steve wondered if that would be good for him and Tony, or if they both had too much baggage for that to work.

The concrete floor wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world to sit on, but Steve had been through worse and the serum would take care of any aches and pains that came from it. He started to draw, carefully setting down smooth lines with his pencil, vague shapes turning into a broader picture. He was out of view of the machine, which was just as well.

Steve's phone rang, interrupting the line he'd been drawing. Muffling a curse, Steve fished his phone out of his pocket, setting his drawing aside. He nearly dropped it when he saw a video call from Natasha, then a tightness in his chest relaxed.

"Natasha," he said, smiling down at her. "You're okay."

"Hey there, Cap. Hanging out with the rest of the museum's fossils?"

She looked alright, no visible bruises or cuts. Just tired and rumpled, which was probably how they all felt right now. "I'm actually upgraded to the museum of science and technology," Steve replied, turning the phone to show her the Mark VIII.

"You're sulking in Stark's lab," Natasha said, her eyes narrowed. Worry crept into her voice. "Is everyone-"

"He's okay. So is Iron Man," Steve said. "No one's hurt now."

Natasha relaxed, shaking her head. "Is Stark there with you?"

"No," Steve said, a little worried where this line of questioning was going. "He and Iron Man are up in the penthouse."

"Then why are you sulking in Stark's lab? By yourself."

"I'm not-" Steve started to say, except he really sort of was. "It's complicated. Is Clint okay?"

"We're both fine," Natasha said. "Being cooped up that long wasn't a picnic for either of us, but Doom explained some of what was going on when he let us go."

She angled the phone to show a snoring Clint on what looked like a bunch of hay. A farm of some sort? Clint looked surprisingly at home on it.

"Doom's been surprisingly, if grudgingly, decent to us," Natasha finished, moving the phone back to herself. "Didn't want to trust his transport though. We're on the outskirts of Latveria and should be back soon."

"He's surprisingly decent for a super-villain," Steve agreed. "What's your ETA for coming back? Do you need one of us to pick you up?"

Natasha hummed. "That's part of the reason I called. We're going off the radar for a bit. We're both tired from our escape attempts and there's somewhere Clint wants to go so we can both relax without worrying about who's watching us."

"What are you saying?" Steve asked, trying to parse between the lines.

"That we've been captured with no contact for a while and that we'd like to stay that way a bit longer." Natasha was hiding all of her tells, which was a tell in and of itself.

"Natasha-"

"We're fine, Steve. Really fine. This is just something we need to do," she said. "It's nothing to do with super-villains future or otherwise, or SHIELD."

"And you're not going to tell me what it is?" Steve asked

"Not my secret to tell," Natasha replied. "Just trust us, Steve. Give us two weeks once we're back in the country. Fury knows what to do if there's a real emergency."

Everything was about trust recently. Steve sighed. They both looked well enough. "Alright. I'll let the others know you're both okay."

"And when we get back, we can do a girl talk about your problems," Natasha said, smiling wickedly.

Steve groaned. He'd hoped he'd side-stepped that. "I don't need to-"

"So you're sulking in Stark's workshop _by yourself_ in front of the Iron Man armor for no reason?"

"It's complicated," Steve repeated, wincing at how sulky his words sounded. He wasn't being very convincing.

Natasha's eyes narrowed at him, and he hoped the phone wouldn't show how his ears were burning. "Don't tell me you've fallen in love with Stark too."

"Natasha!"

Both of her eyebrows shot up. "You're _blushing._ You did, didn't you? No more soap operas for you, Steve," she teased. "We'll sort you out when I get back. One thing I do know about Stark is that he's had threesomes before."

"No rush," Steve said, ignoring the burn in his cheeks and earning a laugh from her. If only she knew... "Be careful."

"You too, Steve," Natasha said, cutting the call.

Sighing, Steve picked his sketchbook back up as he tried to calm down. Tony had to have cameras in here. He sincerely hoped JARVIS would mute that conversation.

He leaned against the glass, looking down at the page and wondering if he was just making a mess of things, being down here. He couldn't quite bring himself to go back up, though. Tony was... Curling further against the glass, Steve kept drawing. The armor stood by, and the room felt emptier, but Steve focused on the drawing.

Iron Man had turned him down. Would Tony really be that much different?

* * *

There was a hand in his hair, and that felt nice. Steve automatically leaned into it. It was just enough for him to stir, but not enough to bring him out of sleep. The hand was warm though, and he did like warm things.

"Steve."

Voices were more likely to wake him up, and Steve grumbled, curling further in on himself and away from whoever it was. It wasn't the most comfortable he'd ever been but he had enough problems sleeping that he wanted more, damn it.

"Steve, honey, that's a terrible place to sleep. Come on. Let's get you into an actual bed."

Steve growled, causing the voice to laugh. That was nice. He had half a thought of how that person needed to laugh more, because it was a nice laugh. The voice seemed to be going away though, and Steve started drifting to some familiar and comforting noises in the background. He knew those sounds, but he was too sleepy to place them. Definitely not threatening, so he let it slide so he could get more sleep.

"Cap nap's over, Winghead," the voice said, but now it was different. A warm gauntlet slid behind his back.

"Iron Man?" Steve woke up instantly, eyes going wide as he took in the familiar sight of red and gold.

Iron Man was kneeling beside him. Steve realized the other gauntlet was under his knees, like Iron Man had been about to pick him up into a bridal carry. The thought set his stomach fluttering.

But Iron Man was pulling back, a stiffness in his joints that worried Steve. "Great," Iron Man said. "Sorry for waking you, but I guess that means I don't have to carry you to bed, so there's that."

Iron Man.

Tony Stark.

Steve caught Iron Man's - Tony's wrists before he pulled too far away. "Could you sit with me a bit?" Steve asked, the adrenaline spike from hearing Iron Man's voice waning to the point where he kind of wanted to go back to his nap - he really _had_ slept in worse places - but the importance of talking to Tony was what jarred him from his sleep in the first place.

Tony gingerly sat down beside him, pulling his knees up. "What're you drawing?"

Steve looked down at where his sketchbook had fallen. He'd completely forgotten about it. Iron Man reached for it before he could, and Steve had a moment of panic. "Iron - Tony," he said, stumbling over the name.

It cost him. Tony was already looking at the picture, face plate blank as he stared. It unnerved Steve now in a way it never had before, not being able to see how Tony was reacting.

The drawing probably wasn't one of his better ones. It was Iron Man with a spotlight on him, waving at the crowd, his body language what Steve generally associated with Iron Man being happy. He had the feeling that part of the drawing wasn't what Tony was staring at though, but Iron Man's shadow. Tony Stark, dark and shaded, looked up from the ground at Iron Man in the spotlight, the same dull expression on his face that Steve had seen when he had refused to trust Tony.

Steve looked around, seeing it was only them in the workshop. "Could I see you?" he asked.

"I'm here as plain as day, Cap," Tony said, closing the sketchbook and handing it back to Steve. "Kang fried the circuits of the stealth armor. I'll need Mr. Stark to... Well, I'll need to fix it at some point."

"I meant..." Steve hesitated, but it seemed like Tony was going to make him say it. "Take your helmet off. Please?"

For a long while Tony didn't move. Steve expected some kind of joke to laugh it off, probably an innuendo of some sort, but nothing was forth coming. Then he slowly reached for the helmet, an unseen release clicking as he lifted it up.

Steve's breath caught as Tony was revealed. He looked exhausted with deep bags under his eyes, and Steve wondered if he'd slept at all in the time Steve had been down here. Being frozen wasn't the same as sleeping, after all, and it had been evening when Steve went out to fight Kang. Steve had spent more than a few hours down here drawing as well, not including the time he'd napped. But Tony was beautiful like this, with his hair mussed and the dark tresses falling every which way. They stood out against the red and gold of the armor in a way that made Steve long for his paints.

"This is weird," Tony said, looking away almost immediately, but Steve couldn't stop staring. "Is this weird? Shit, this was a bad idea. I can leave or-"

Steve pushed himself up and claimed Tony's lips in a desperate kiss, his hands settling on the armor's shoulders. _This_ was what it was like to kiss Iron Man. Hard but warm metal under his fingertips, smooth until he reached a joint or a dent Tony hadn't had time to take out. Tony's goatee pricked at his upper lip and chin, and he ran his other hand along it experimentally, pleased by the sensation. Tony was kissing back, but hesitantly.

Steve pulled back, realizing he was crowding him. He smiled at Tony's wide-eyed, flushed appearance. He leaned back in to kiss Tony's nose when he couldn't help himself. "There you are, Shellhead," Steve said softly, rubbing Tony's cheek.

Tony closed his eyes, his expression becoming pinched when he breathed out. He looked miserable, and Steve immediately backed away. Had he done something wrong? "Tony?"

Tony stood, and the suit opened up as he stepped out of it. "This isn't a good time. You should go to bed," Tony said, his voice flat as he ignored Steve, going over to the table. Blue holograms sprang to life, and he started to manipulate a project. Steve was pretty sure he was just moving things around rather than actually doing anything.

It was a warning, not a rejection, Steve told himself. A tightly controlled warning. Whatever Steve had done, whatever wire he'd tripped, it sent Tony spiraling in a bad way and this was his warning to get out before things got bad and Tony got defensive. A small part of him was proud of Tony's progress. But mostly he was floored by guilt because Tony had sounded _happy_ when Steve had been half-asleep. It also felt more stinging like a rejection than Steve cared to think about.

Steve weighed his options. He should respect Tony's wishes and leave. If he did that though, would he be let back in?

This was going to go very, very wrong, probably very quickly, but he had to try. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I asked you to get out," Tony bit back.

"Come on, Shellhead. Talk to me," Steve pleaded.

Tony froze, his shoulders tensing as he stared blankly at the holograms. "You know your problem, Rogers? You overstay your welcome. You should have left with the 40s."

Steve stepped back, shocked at the callousness. He fought back the anger that threatened to take over. Not the time to go off. "Shellhead-"

"You want to help me, Rogers? Get the fuck out. I don't need you and your savior complex. You're nothing special outside of my dad's walking science experiment."

Steve growled, balling his hands into fists. He needed to keep his temper, damn it. "After all of this, that's all I am to you?"

"Got it in one, Capsicle. Now go back to the ice where they found you," Tony said, reaching up to flick away a hologram. "No one needs a relic who only messes up the time line further."

Steve snapped.

"Is that all _you_ are? A stuck-up brat who can only lash out at the world?" Steve yelled, because that cut deep. Deeper than Steve had prepared for, and his anger went off hotter than a firecracker. "How many people are willing to put up with you?"

He regretted the words immediately, cursing his lack of control when it came to Tony. Tony always knew how to press all of his buttons, and of course he would. He knew everything Iron Man knew.

Tony smiled at the words, vicious and bitter, turning to Steve with anger that was barely hidden. "Tons. Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. What's not to love?"

There was something in Tony's expression that caught Steve off guard, a desolate set to Tony's shoulders that made Steve remember he knew how to cut pretty deeply as well. It was enough to break through his own fury. "Damn it, Shellhead, that's not-"

"You, on the other hand," Tony interrupted. "Everything special about you came out of a bottle. You-"

" _Stop_ ," Steve ordered. He stepped forward, to shake or strangle Tony, he didn't know, but this needed to stop before either of them seriously regretted it.

Tony didn't move back. He just looked up at Steve like he was expecting a blow, either verbal or physical, Steve couldn't tell. He expected it and didn't flinch away, like he felt like he deserved it. It made Steve a little sick. "I'm starting to want you to make-"

" _Stop_ ," Steve repeated. "Just shut up for a minute."

Surprisingly, Tony did this time.

Steve closed his eyes, blocking off Tony's hurt and anger to focus on his own and the nausea that was quickly taking over. He took a deep breath then counted to ten, repeating the process a few times.

When he could take a breath without it hitching, Steve opened his eyes to look at Tony.

Rage built up again, but he pushed it down firmly. He took one more breath. "I'm sorry."

"You're what?" Tony took a step back, bumping into the desk.

"I'm sorry," Steve said again, swallowing down his unwillingness to back down from the fight. It went against everything in his nature, but he wasn't going to let this break them apart.

"Why are you apologizing to _me_?" Tony asked, baffled.

 _Breathe_ , Steve reminded himself. _Don't snap at him._ "Because you warned me off and I should have listened and given you space. And no matter what you said to me, I shouldn't have said that to you. I made the decision to brave your mood despite how you asked for space, and I should have kept my temper."

"You shouldn't be apologizing," Tony said, shaking his head. "What I said-"

"Was specifically aimed to hurt me in every way you've learned since we met to get me to do what you asked me politely to do at the start of this," Steve said, despite how much that stung to admit. Even when Tony wasn't hurling insults, he was still one of the most infuriating men Steve had ever met. Bucky would have said they were meant for each other.

Bucky... Not relevant at the moment. Tony's words had rubbed salt into that wound, but he could dwell on that later. "But _you warned me_ ," Steve continued. "I was the one who wouldn't back down. You have issues, Tony. Those issues aren't going to go away because we're friends and I knew that coming into this."

Tony flinched this time as Steve moved closer, but as much as Steve longed to hug Tony, he didn't quite trust himself not to also shake him. "We've never really talked about this, I guess," Steve said, rubbing at his forehead, just above his eye. It was easier not to talk about it. Neither of them really _liked_ talking about these things either. "But if you hadn't noticed, we have a system. You give me a pretty fair warning when you're getting bad, and I either leave you alone or try to tough it out. You stop when I tell you to. You usually apologize after, too."

The latter came out more bitter than Steve intended and Tony looked away. Steve sighed, admonishing himself silently and forced his voice to gentle. "You've been through a lot recently, and I think I need to work on backing off more to keep this from exploding like it did. But regardless, I shouldn't have lost my temper at you like that."

"Why?" Tony asked, still not looking up. "If you knew that, why did you stay?"

He wasn't just asking about the current fight. The question nearly broke Steve's heart. "Because I wanted to know what I did, and I didn't know if you'd let me back in later if I left now," Steve said to buy himself more time to grapple with the other question. "I guess I have a few issues with trust, too. And you... You're not the only one getting benefits out of this."

Tony snorted, but Steve pressed on. "I mean that," he said, feeling at a loss. "I'm... I don't always deal well with the future. You know that."

He flushed in shame admitting that. He'd been trying so hard to keep going. But it just wasn't enough on his own. He met Iron Man in the library a lot of nights, and the nightmare Tony had stumbled upon was far from the first or the last. Dealing with Tony, it'd given him something to do that wasn't just pretending to the others that he was alright. It had certainly helped him get over his heartbreak, though admittedly that was more complicated than he'd originally realized.

"The technology is easy," Steve continued. "But I'll look something up online and want to tell Bucky, or I'll see Peggy walking down the street only to realize it's someone else. And this was every day before you started to talk to me. I can't..."

"Steve," Tony said, his voice lacking any of the anger or bitterness from earlier. "That's natural. You're grieving."

Steve shook his head. "The world doesn't need a relic that's grieving. It needs someone that can help protect it." Tony looked stricken at the words, but Steve pushed forward, because he wasn't sure he could finish if he stopped now. "I didn't have anyone left that I wouldn't be a burden to. I got locked in my head because I couldn't put my problems on anyone else. You helped with that, and gave me something to focus on that wasn't from the 40s. You helped me through so much, Shellhead. You were a friend when I needed it most."

Tony looked at the floor. "No, I wasn't," he said, moving back to the holograms with an air of defeat.

Steve stared at his back, mouth open in surprise. "If this is about you keeping secrets-" he managed finally.

"This is about _him_ being your friend, not me," Tony said, gesturing to Iron Man armors. "I'm not Iron Man."

"But you..." Tony had just walked out of the armor. Was it some kind of disassociation? But Tony hadn't denied it before, and he hadn't acted differently when Kang had forced him out of the armor. So what was Tony talking about? It couldn't be another misdirection.

"Iron Man isn't the one who profited off of weapon sales his whole life," Tony explained. "Iron Man isn't some billionaire brat who has every mistake he's ever made plastered in the tabloids ranging from his drug habits to who he slept with instead of making more money for his company. He's not real, Rogers."

The name stung more than Steve expected it to, but he held his temper tightly, refusing to give into that again. He couldn't afford to lose it a second time. "It's still you," he said. "You did all of that, Shellhead. That wasn't-"

"I'm. Not. Him!" Tony spun around, marching back up to Steve and sticking his chin up defiantly, daring Steve to contradict him and plowing forward before Steve could. "Iron Man is a fiction. He's someone I made up who could be _different_. He doesn't have my issues. He can be friendly, he can crack corny jokes, and he can be on a team. He can save the world and be a good guy. I don't know if you've noticed, but none of those describe me."

Steve eyes widened. "Shell... Tony, you _are_ all of those things," he said helplessly.

Tony laughed, shaking his head and turning away. "Yeah, and I'm sure you'll be happy not to use that time machine you've found too."

Steve flinched. "Tony," he said in warning.

"I tried," Tony said, looking away. "I came back from Afghanistan and I _tried_ , but it didn't work. You think people actually want to like _me_? I can list the number of people who do on one hand and one of those actively tried to kill me. So if you're looking for Iron Man, he's not here anymore. Find someone else to ride off into the sunset with, old man. You'll be happier for it."

Tony's chest was rising and falling rapidly. Steve didn't know if he wanted to take out a few punching bags or shake Tony. He really should have left it alone and given Tony some space at the start of this, because neither of them were up for this sort of fight so soon after the battle. But he couldn't leave now with Tony's trust on the line.

"For a damned genius, you really are dumb," Steve grit out.

"What?" Tony looked up finally, fury in his eyes as he finally met Steve's.

"Because it doesn't take a genius to realize I kissed you _before_ I knew you were Iron Man, Tony. It was _you_ , not Iron Man, I wanted to take out on a date, idiot," Steve replied.

Tony stared at him, his mouth hanging open as he took that in. Then his mouth snapped shut and he developed a sudden fascination with the ground.

Sighing, Steve rubbed his forehead. He needed a clear head for this. He looked at Tony again, feeling the unnatural silence that fell between them. "Can I hug you?" Steve asked, needing to reassure himself and Tony that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Why?"

Steve considered his answer, knowing it had to be a real one. "Because I don't think Iron Man is as much of a fiction as you say, and he helped me with a lot of my problems. Even if you aren't him, you _are_ the one who did that, Tony. You're my friend twice over. Even if you don't want a date, you're still someone important to me and considering you went through all of that to save me, I hope that you'd at least let me be your friend still. I want to keep trying."

He had to remind himself not to hold his breath. He couldn't help Tony if he didn't want it. He couldn't force Tony to trust him. It was all up to Tony now, and as much as it killed him, this would only work if Tony was trying too. 

Finally, Tony nodded. It was a curt thing that wasted no movement, but he'd barely moved before Steve was pulling Tony against him with a desperation that scared him.

Tony's shoulders hitched once, then he was hiding his face against Steve's neck. He was babbling softly, largely unintelligibly, but Steve could pick out a few of the words that were repeated often enough. "Sorry" was one of them, and it broke the hold on his anger and left an empty ache behind. Tony's words stung because a large part of him wondered if they were true. At least with the way Tony was clinging to him, Steve felt like there was one person who needed him in this time.

Steve started to sway them slowly, a rock step that barely counted as a movement, but fit the melody in his head as he started to hum tunelessly. It wasn't his dance with Peggy. He didn't even know if he'd get a second dance with Tony. But it was something, and having Tony in his arms now went a long way to soothing his self-doubt. He hadn't messed this up so terribly that Tony wouldn't forgive him.

Then Tony started laughing and the self-doubt crept up again. "What?" Steve asked.

"Are you seriously humming Spice Girls?"

Okay, maybe he hadn't been humming as tunelessly as he thought. He hadn't even really connected the song to the melody in his head, since he'd slowed it down. "Thor suggested it," Steve said, flustered but glad to hear Tony laugh in a way that wasn't laced with bitterness or anger. "When Iron Man... when _you_ turned me down, he thought the song would help."

"Guess there's worse things in life than taking advice from pop groups," Tony said, still chuckling.

"It worked well enough," Steve said. Getting to know Iron Man's friends proved surprisingly useful. Pepper and Rhodey both seemed really supportive and he'd only met Happy briefly, but he seemed like a nice guy. Steve doubted he'd have gotten very far without their help.

"I don't remember the lyrics. All of those pop songs run together," Tony muttered. "I'm sure I'll regret it if I look them up later."

Tony still hadn't pulled away, so Steve kept up his half-hearted dancing. He rubbed Tony's back, relishing in the warmth of Tony's body against his. Cold didn't physically bother him that much after the serum, but seventy years in ice made him think he was still cold a lot of the time. It was nice, being this close to someone again. It was a kind of warmth that Steve had been missing, and it amazed him that Tony was willing to give him this, even if only as a friend.

"You shouldn't want this," Tony said after a while. "You deserve better than everything I've said to you."

The reminder of Tony's words was poking at the still fresh wounds, and Steve's grip around Tony automatically tightened. He forced himself to be gentler, because he couldn't hurt Tony, not like that. He stubbornly grasped at the anger though, until he forced himself to let go of it. Steve needed to redirect that stubbornness into making this _work_ , not tearing it apart. "Did you mean it?" he asked.

"No," Tony said, shaking his head without lifting it from Steve's shoulder. "Fuck, I didn't... Steve, you're the only reason I have _hope_ some days. You make me want to be better and I keep failing. You keep pushing, and I can't..."

"Shh," Steve said. Tony's words stung more because Steve himself believed them, not Tony. Hearing that Tony didn't believe it helped a little, but it was a wound that would take a while to close. It was just going to take time. "I'm sorry. I'll work on not pushing."

"Steve..."

"It's alright."

"It's not."

It really wasn't. But that was neither here nor there. "Come on," Steve said, pulling away enough to steer them towards the couch. Sometime soon, Steve realized, they were going to have to have a conversation about boundaries, and that one was going to be hard for him since it wasn't in his nature to back down when a friend was hurting. It was a hard pill to swallow, especially when it came to Tony. They both could have avoided this if Steve had just let Tony work through this for a few hours, and then maybe put his foot down if Tony wouldn't let him back in.

It sucked, as Tony liked to say. But if he was asking Tony to try and change to over-come his issues, then Steve had to learn to do the same and give Tony the space he needed to do that. Because they were both making a mess of things now.

That could wait though, when they weren't still smarting. Steve pulled Tony down on the couch with him, and he went willingly. Tony tucked himself neatly against Steve's side, head resting on Steve's shoulder in a way that made it difficult to see his eyes. Still hiding them, Steve supposed. He couldn't really blame Tony for that.

The couch was comfortable at least, the dark red color both unsurprising and slightly endearing. He pressed his cheek to Tony's soft hair, wishing there was some way to make this right. There were no magical fixes for this. Steve knew what Tony said about not being Iron Man wasn't true. Tony _was_ Iron Man. Iron Man was a carefully hidden part of him that was too vulnerable without his armor.

Tony shifted, not quite able to sit still, especially with the silence. He also seemed unwilling to break it himself, however, which was something Steve was also struggling with. It was far too easy to say the wrong thing.

He looked around the workshop at the armors and the holograms Tony had left up. Even the machine that would have killed him was awe-inspiring in its own way. Tony was amazing, doing all of that. It wasn't just Iron Man who did a lot of good, but Tony as well. Tony just never got any of the credit for it. It broke Steve's heart a little that the contributions of one person were valued less than another, so much so that the man himself believed it. Steve and the other Avengers had devalued him as less than Iron Man before they'd even met him.

"All these things you've created," Steve said finally as Tony shifted again. "You're incredible."

"You sure you don't mean Iron Man?" Tony snorted.

"I mean _you_ ," Steve said, hugging Tony against him. "The man who created Iron Man. Who does what Iron Man does, but takes none of the credit. I fell in love with you too, ya punk."

And he still hadn't gotten an answer for that, despite how tactile Tony was being. Part of him was anxious about that, but a larger part that had finally accepted Iron Man's refusal was okay with it. As long as Tony was still willing to be his friend, in or out of the Iron Man suit, Steve would be okay. He could keep loving Tony the way he loved Peggy. And it _hurt_. It hurt so much that it ached in a dark, empty way that felt too much like the abyss of realizing he was alone in this century.

But he wasn't alone. He had Tony and the others, and as long as they were happy, Steve himself had a home. That was enough to fill up the chasm even if Tony didn't love him back in the same way. He still loved Steve as a friend.

"The song wasn't wrong," Steve said, thinking back to the conversation he'd overheard between Tony and Rhodey. A plan was forming slowly, but it'd only work if Tony agreed. "Meeting your friends was great. You've met a few of mine, and I think they liked you too. You could come up and hang out with Thor and Jane, and Bruce should be back tomorrow. Clint and Natasha will like getting to know you too when they get back. I don't know Jane that well, but she seemed pretty swell."

"You're worse than Rhodey," Tony muttered. "Natasha would have me made by the end of the week."

"Would it be a bad thing for the others to know?" Steve asked.

Tony's hand had ended up curled in Steve's shirt, and it tightened, pulling it taut. "They know Iron Man. They'd expect him when they see me."

"Or we can get to know both sides of you," Steve said. "I did. I know we've said some pretty horrible things in the past, but we can be better, especially once if they know you personally. You just have to give us a chance."

Tony didn't ask, but Steve could sense it - the 'what if they don't give _me_ a chance?' hung in the air. Steve really couldn't speak for the others, but he had a feeling they'd be willing to give Tony a shot. It was too much of an empty promise though if he was wrong.

He could feel Tony's breath start to pick up, a minute trembling going through Tony's body. Boundaries, Steve realized with a start as he opened his mouth to speak. He snapped it shut, because pushing right now wouldn't help no matter how much he knew it wouldn't get better until Tony tried. Tony had to take this at his own pace. He was going to have to ask Rhodey how he managed to pull back. Steve definitely could use some advice on the matter.

Steve hated not being able to push. He forced his body to stay relaxed, letting Tony work through it on his own. He mentally prepared himself for Tony's rejection of the idea, because being stubborn about this would only put Tony on the defensive again. And Tony was _shaking_. At least from the sound of it, Bruce and Jane would be interested in collaborations, so Steve could encourage it from the other end if need be.

He was so caught up in preparing for what to say that he almost missed Tony's small "Okay."

"You'll come up?" Steve asked, a smile spreading on his face.

"Sure," Tony said casually, though he hadn't stopped trembling. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Steve didn't mention what could happen, because Tony was already coming up with a list in his head. Instead he placed a small kiss on Tony's head, hugging him tighter. "I'm proud of you."

Tony's head shot off Steve's shoulder. "You're what?" he asked, his eyes wide.

Steve wanted to lean in and kiss him properly, pulling him back into a tight embrace, because hearing that question pulled out an ache only Tony could create. But Tony didn't seem interested in that sort of relationship, regardless of the kiss he'd allowed at the start of their conversation. That was another boundary Steve was going to have to start respecting, but Steve could start enforcing that later, when Tony didn't need the comfort.

Instead he smiled at Tony, ruffling his hair. "I'm proud," Steve repeated. "I know it's a hard choice."

"That's all it takes?" Tony said, looking down, but not before Steve caught a hint of moisture in his eyes. "Huh."

Steve pulled him back into the hug. "You saved my life and millions of others," Steve said, closing his eyes. "And you're trying to work out your problems. What's not to be proud of?"

"Everything else?" Tony asked, but he let himself be pulled without fuss.

"You're wrong on that. That's what counts," Steve insisted.

The silence this time was more comfortable, and Steve allowed himself to enjoy what contact Tony would permit. He could live with this. Maybe someday, Tony wouldn't need an old relic like him. But until then, Steve was going to stick with him and put his stubborn head to good use. He was bound to make more mistakes, but he wasn't going to give up.

* * *

Two months later, Steve balanced a tray in one hand as he put in the new access code Tony had given him. Now him, Bruce, and Jane all had access to Tony's lab, though Steve came in more just to sit with Tony and draw than to do science like the others.

He was surprised to see the portal open, with Tony setting up a camera in front of it. Steve bit down the alarm at seeing it operational, reminding himself that Jane and Tony had worked to make it safe. The fear didn't quite fade, and his eidetic memory had no problems bringing up images of that Future Tony coughing up blood and going to his death.

Forcing himself not to interrupt, Steve set down the tray and watched Tony step back from the camera Dummy was holding, motioning for it to turn on.

The small light on meant it was recording, and Tony grinned broadly at the camera. "Okay, listen up, past me. There's two theories about this. Either I am creating an alternate universe by sending this back, or I'm giving myself much needed instructions and I'm not chancing the latter. Either way, good news! We did it."

Steve leaned against the table, half sitting on it as he watched Tony. He really hoped it wasn't the alternative universe theory. He didn't like to think of eight different Tonys dying to save him.

"What you need to know is that Kang is coming from the future to kill Steve, and we have to stop that from happening. I'm sending you the specs of all the important stuff and some transcripts of what _not_ to do from previous mes. Jane will be pissed she doesn't get to help build it, but you can tell her that she made significant contributions to it in this time line. Seriously, she is awesome. She won't accept lab space since she's married to field work, but give her an anonymous grant and you will thank yourself for it later."

Tony waved it off, shaking his head. "Off topic. Sorry. The important thing is to _not tell anyone_. Especially not Steve. He is a pushy bastard who will try underhanded ways to whittle it out of you, but _do not_ fall for his puppy dog eyes. There's been nine versions of us trying to get this right, and every one of me that told him ended up with a dead Steve."

Tony swallowed, looking away from the camera and no doubt thinking of the previous version of him who hadn't been able to save Steve. "Really, just don't tell him. Or anyone else. If this goes right, Doom is there when you hear the message, but no one else can know. There's too many variables otherwise. This is what _works_ , so don't fool around with it. You only need Cap in the final fight. Every other version of me has tried telling someone, and they failed to save Steve. Then they died too. But you and me, we know how to beat this. I did it, and so can you.

"Doom is surprisingly trust worthy. Just bring your A-game because he is a tricky bastard and he will try to take you for all you're worth. He stopped Jane from seeing the rest of the message and didn't hurt Clint and Natasha, so don't worry about that. Start working on your stealth armor and one for Pepper. She'll need yours to fool Kang, but she'll want her own after. Also, I'm throwing in the repulsor heels I designed. She may not think so at first, but honestly, she wears those suckers more than she wears her Jimmy Choos."

Steve did not remember Pepper getting repulsor high heels. He felt like he should remember that, because it sounded dangerous. But as long as Pepper was happy, he supposed it was well enough to leave alone. He wondered if Natasha would like a pair too.

"To hack into Kang's high tech chair, just look in some of the notes I've left you. It's easy when you remember his tech is based off of ours, and Port 290926 is your friend. That will get you into his spaceship, Damocles, and JARVIS and Doom can do the rest from there. Tony One spent a long time studying his tech before he could make the time line right, so look at his notes especially."

Tony checked his watch, then looked back at the portal. "And that's probably all I should tell you. Frustrating that I can't give you a step by step, but with the other people who might be listening, I shouldn't say too much. Though this will go right under Kang's radar as too low tech, Jane figured it out enough so keep an eye on her. It took us nine times to get it right, but we did finally, so keep up the good work."

Tony looked like he was about to wave off the camera, but he hesitated. "One more thing," he said. "You can't tell Steve anything. And I do mean anything. But you can trust him."

Steve walked up behind Tony, unsure if he should interrupt or not. He didn't think he should be listening like this, but he also didn't want to stop Tony from telling his past self something he might need to hear. "And I don't mean trusting him with your life," Tony continued, "because I know you already do that. But you can trust him to stay. I know it sounds crazy, but he _does_. Whatever you do, you have to keep him safe. Protect him. He..."

Steve made up his mind. He pulled a startled Tony into a tight hug from behind, his arms wrapping firmly around Tony's waist.

"Steve!"

"I love you," Steve told the camera, the Tony in the past. "Not Iron Man, but Tony Stark. Even if you don't return those feelings, that won't change. So you'll have to put up with my stubbornness a while longer. And I know that's not easy sometimes, and I still can't really agree with your methods, but Tony... thank you."

"JARVIS, camera off," Tony said, and Steve could see the blush creeping up his throat. They had spoken about boundaries, but the status of their relationship had never officially come up, so Steve let Tony pull away even if that still hurt. He was fine with that, really. Tony let him be affectionate and tactile, even if Tony often didn't know how to respond. That was more than Steve could have hoped for.

When Tony turned around to face Steve, he beamed at Tony, brushing aside the hair that had fallen into Tony's eyes. Tony needed a haircut, but Steve liked it a little long like that. "Hey, there, Shellhead. I brought down some of Clint's cake."

"What do you mean, 'even if I don't return your feelings'?" Tony asked, looking more upset than Steve expected.

"You never really said," Steve replied, wondering if he should back off. Just because Tony didn't tell him to stop didn't mean that it wasn't pressuring him, though Tony promised to be clear if Steve did something that was too much for him. "You don't need to. It's fine even if you don't-"

Tony was kissing him. Steve lost a few moments during that, because he didn't remember Tony's hand entangling in his hair and pulling him in, or how Tony's tongue got in his mouth. He was swept away by the desperation and need that only belatedly Steve realized wasn't just coming from him in the way Tony's other hand gripped Steve's shirt. Steve made a noise that was embarrassingly similar to a whimper, the memories of their last kiss a thing he had only dreamed about these past two months.

"Tony," he said breathlessly between kisses. "Hey, easy. You... slow down, sweetheart."

Tony pulled back after a chaster, but no less passionate, kiss. The hand that had been tangled in Steve's hair came around to cup Steve's cheek. "Steve, you... Every time I lost hope, you were there. You kept me from drowning. You make me feel like I _can_ be better. I... I need..."

Steve closed his eyes, leaning into the thumb that rubbed his cheekbone. His cheeks were starting to hurt from how wide his smile was, but when he opened his eyes again to see Tony staring at him uncertainly, he didn't care. "Yeah?" Steve asked on a heavy exhale.

"Yeah," Tony said, his voice a little shaky, but his warm eyes determined.

Steve laughed, unable to help picking Tony up under his arms and swinging him around. 

"Hey!" Tony said, grabbing Steve's biceps in a slight panic. "Put me down! This isn't - that's not dignified. Cool the dance moves, Patrick Swayze. Damn it, Rogers, put me down!"

Steve claimed Tony's lips again as he carefully lowered him down, memorizing the feel of Tony's smile against his.

"No lifts," Tony said reproachfully, though his lips were pressed together in a way that reminded Steve of Rhodey's impassiveness at Tony's antics. Except Tony was nowhere as proficient at pretending he wasn't amused, as Steve could see the slight twitch of a smile.

"I thought you liked being taller," Steve said.

"I did not - I'm not short, Winghead! Just because you are all ridiculously tall does not mean I'm not a respectable height!"

"I'm sure that's why you designed the armor to give you two extra inches," Steve said.

"You-"

Steve kissed him again, because that appeared to be a good way to get some peace and quiet. Tony only grumbled a little.

"That is not always going to work, Rogers," Tony said after.

"I'll take my chances," Steve replied, still smiling. "Cake? I brought two pieces, one for you and one for 'Iron Man', but I can always eat the other."

Tony looked around him to the two pieces of cake that Steve had set down earlier, biting his lip. "Tony?" Steve asked, sensing the shift in mood.

"Are the others still upstairs?" he asked.

"Yeah," Steve said, wondering what Tony was up to. As much as he loved the genius, there were still a lot of times Steve couldn't keep up with his spit-fire thoughts. "We were hoping you or Iron Man could spare a bit of time to join us for a movie."

"Let me get the suit then," Tony replied, pulling away.

"You came as Iron Man the past few-" Steve cut himself off, snapping his mouth shut as he tried not to push. That had been their agreement. They'd take Tony's trust issues at his pace. Tony had been doing better, Steve reminded himself. He'd come up even when Natasha and Clint had returned. "Sorry. We should eat the cake first then before we go up."

Tony looked back at Steve with a ghostly smile that worried him. "I figure we can eat the cake upstairs with the others."

Steve frowned. "You can't eat in the suit, though."

"No, I can't," Tony said with forced casualness.

Steve could see his hands shaking at his sides, and the full weight of what Tony said hit him. "You're going to tell them," Steve said, his eyes widening.

"I made the face plate to flip up for a reason," Tony said. "I've used it before to eat, so I can... It'll work, I guess."

"You don't have to," Steve said cautiously. The others had been warned of some of Tony's boundaries, and they had all been careful to include him even without Steve's prompting when he came up instead of Iron Man. The others all seemed to have picked up on Tony's uneasiness, and Steve hadn't needed to say anything beyond what Bruce had originally warned him with: give Tony space when he needed it.

The other Avengers had been very welcoming of Tony, even better than Steve had hoped. But that didn't mean Tony was necessarily ready for this, and he could see how scared Tony was even though he tried to hide it. "If you're not ready..."

"I can handle it," Tony snapped.

"Not saying you can't," Steve said, forcing his own temper down as he closed the distance between them again. He took one of Tony's hands and massaged the tension out of it. "I know you can. I just want to make sure you're comfortable."

"Yup, let's do it," Tony said, drawing Steve's hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles in a way that sent Steve's stomach into flips.

Steve swallowed, then brought Tony into another hug, kissing his temple. The fact that he could kiss Tony now was something Steve wasn't going to get over any time soon. "Have I mentioned how proud I am of you today?" Steve asked, because this close he could feel Tony trembling.

"Yeah, yeah. Enough with the sappy stuff, Winghead," Tony said, but he lingered in Steve's embrace, and his voice cracked. "Let's just get this over with."

Steve hugged him tighter, smiling broadly. "Go on. Get the suit and we'll surprise everyone," he said, pulling away and taking out his phone to tell Natasha to make sure everyone was there so Tony only had to do this once. Even if Tony changed his mind, it'd be nice to see the whole team.

"You just want to take me out of it," Tony said, wiggling in what Steve assumed was supposed to be a seductive manner.

Steve was past noticing that, however, licking his lips at the thought of taking Tony out of the armor. To say that was a long time fantasy of his was definitely an understatement.

Tony paused, staring at Steve's lips like he was riveted. "That look better damn well be a promise, Rogers," he practically growled.

"Put on the suit and find out," Steve said, hardly recognizing his own voice.

" _After_ ," Tony stressed, turning away and muttering about wanting to get this over with, but not before Steve caught his quickening breath and slight flush. "Let's just... after. J, Shut down the portal. I'm sure the message got through by now."

"Alright," Steve said, telling his own body very firmly to calm down. They'd been taking things rather slow, considering, and it wouldn't be all that bad to wait on that promise a while longer.

He watched as the armor enveloped Tony, and Steve reminded himself a second time. He grabbed the tray, offering his arm to Tony once the armor was finished. "Ready?"

"Really, grandpa?" Tony asked, but the gauntlet slipped into Steve's arm.

"I'll always jump at the chance to show off my fella," Steve said, flushing slightly as he led them to the elevator. Steve heard Tony muttering about dating a sap under the noise of the armor's servos. 

Natasha raised her eyebrow at them as they walked in, and Steve handed Tony the plate with his piece of cake. Everyone was there, and it was a little unnerving to have them all staring at them.

Tony looked down at the cake for a long moment, then the face plate shot up, but he ate the cake rather than look up at everyone's surprised reactions.

Steve looked, even if Tony wouldn't. Jane and Bruce crowded him, almost shoving Steve aside. "Tony! You're..." Bruce said, then shook his head. "Of course you are."

Tony gave them both a hesitant smile that grew as Jane hugged him. Clint passed Natasha a five dollar bill, and Thor pulled Tony and Jane into a big bear hug that was going in Steve's sketchbook as Tony's smile became blinding.

"Told you," Rhodey said, calling Steve's attention to him and Pepper. Even Happy was there, grinning broadly at all of them. They looked just as proud as Steve felt.

Tony ducked his head as Thor and Jane let him go, and Steve leaned in to kiss away some of the frosting on Tony's goatee, prompting a whistle from Natasha and a groan from Clint.

"They're going to be disgustingly cute now, aren't they?" Clint said. Natasha poked him in the side with her foot as she was lounging with her feet in his lap, not saying anything but apparently getting across her meaning to Clint loud and clear as he laughed. "Point. Okay, you two. Either get a room or come watch the movie with us."

"Nay, my friends," Thor said. "This calls for a celebration feast!"

"Pizza!" Jane said triumphantly.

"You heard the woman, J," Tony said, squeezing Steve's hand. "Pizza and a movie. You know what to order."

"Of course, sir."

"Then let's get this party started," Tony said, sitting down on the love seat he and Steve usually claimed.

 _Home_ , Steve thought as the warmth of the armor settled against his side when the movie started and his friends all sat around them, safe and happy.

It was nice to be home.

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Mem: For those that want a full disclosure, there are some Time Shenanigans which involve eight Tonys and a couple of Steves dying before Tony managed to get everything right and save Steve (we only see the message from Tony 8 where he tells us this). Tony posited two theories: either sending a message back would keep the current timeline in tact (thus no Tonys or Steves had to die), or that each failure message created an alternate universe, and all those Steves and Tonys are still dead but the world is saved. You can believe whichever one you like. 
> 
> Anyway, here is the fic. It's really long and a bit ridiculous, but I hope you enjoyed it. If you're interested, you can find me on tumblr [here](http://memorydragon.tumblr.com/), but I warn you, I post lots of random stuff.
> 
> Quote of the fic:
> 
> "If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends.  
> Make it last forever - friendship never ends."  
> -Spice Girls, _Wannabe_ (no, I do not regret the use of this song in the slightest)


End file.
